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School Day Out subjected to BM and absence ?

(12 Posts)
AliciaBASZ Mon 15-May-17 11:12:32

Hello everyone,

I'm not sure if it's the right place for my concern, but I'll have a try.

I'd like you to tell me if I'm overreacting or if you feel the same.

At the beginning of spring term my daughter (year 8) has been proposed a day out to Chessington with the school. Her tutor told them that they would be "selected" on regard of their BM and absence, which should not be over a certain limit, and only for the second term. My daughter has been very careful all term long about absence and BM.

But she hasn't been "selected" ... and we are not really sure why.

First, she found out that the selection would be done on the first 2 terms. She's been absent but it was authorised absence (she had a flu). We think that the BM are the source... but she got some not because she is a bad work or bad behavior, only because it's been hard for her sometimes. She is introverted, she was new in the school but she succeded having new friends, she is very respectful of her teachers and very hard working...

I don't understand the educational purpose and benefit of such a practice... A Chessington Day Out is not something negligible in the mind of a 12 or 13 year old... I am quite puzzled...

How can a school use such a reward at the risk of provoking a painful reaction from the child for being "rejected"... Am I overreacting ? How would you feel for your child ?

Thank you.

BackforGood Mon 15-May-17 11:17:06

What is BM ?

Generally, if school are offering a treat for excellent behaviour or attitude or work, then it acts as an incentive for some pupils. If pupils who haven't met the criteria then go, it would be a pointless exercise.

AssassinatedBeauty Mon 15-May-17 11:18:34

What are BMs?

AliciaBASZ Mon 15-May-17 11:28:53


BMs are some sort of bad point when a child has not been able to achieve a certain grade, or when the child has a bad behavior... it's a minus. In her school, APPs are the good points. She has actually 592 APPs, and the school has promised a headphone for the one getting 600 APPs... she is close to it, but has no confidence at all the school will do it.


I do understand your point, but my daughter never had a BM for bad behavior. For me the school had mixed the achievement with the behavior... which has no sense.

A child can have difficulties in some subjects... does that mean he should be punished for that ?

AssassinatedBeauty Mon 15-May-17 11:43:03

I don't know whether I think that it's a good idea to mix behaviour negative points with achievement negative points, or even if having points for not achieving is the right thing to do! Maybe the school are trying to reward children who are both well behaved and performing well at school?

Presumably the negative achievement points are for not meeting the child's own target grades, rather than not meeting an arbitrary grade?

Generally though, if the school has said in advance what the criteria are for the trip, then they can't break their own criteria. Maybe you could feed back to the school what your issues are with the criteria and ask them to consider doing it differently next year?

AliciaBASZ Mon 15-May-17 11:48:38


That's what I was about to do, but before that I just wanted other mother's point of view.

bojorojo Mon 15-May-17 13:20:02

I can see why reward trips may work for some pupils but in general I am not a fan. They are divisive and lead to children being left out who may have very challenging backgrounds and are punished for something they have little control over, such as illness. I think an end of term treat should be for everyone and only very poor behaviour, with warnings that they risk not going on the trip if such behaviour does not improve, should stop a child from participating. If you do not know why she hasn't been confirmed for a place and no warnings have been given the place was at risk, I do think you should ask for clarification. They may, of course, have made a mistake but the rules should be transparent and children should know where they stand.

soapboxqueen Mon 15-May-17 13:35:21

Like others I'm a bit dubious about large rewards for behaviour/attainment/attendance as there will always be some children that cannot make the grade due to issues beyond their control.

However, if the rule was that children who made the grade had the 'chance' of being selected eg not all would go but anyone who didn't make the grade definitely wouldn't, then it's upsetting for your dd but she just want chosen.

If the rule was that anyone who made the grade would go, then your dd still doesn't qualify as you say she has demerits. If you feel that the demerits weren't justified, you need to take that up with the school.

If you feel that the concept of getting demerits for the reasons she got them is wrong, you need to take up her specific case with the school. Why she should be treated differently because of SEN/medical reasons etc.

As much as you or I may disagree with the system, that's the one they're using and I doubt they'll stop it for one child.

Astro55 Mon 15-May-17 13:44:19

I'm with you here on the marks

School has behaviour points for anything from lack of homework to attacking other students.

All mine have had them when not understanding the homework so it's half completed etc -

They also need 100% attendance with illness counting against them!!

Considering all have had the sick bug and headache thing they are all out of the running

BUT there prize is a 3 hour presentation of certificates - which parents must attend - so lucky escape really!!!

bojorojo Mon 15-May-17 14:03:03

100% attendance is just ridiculous. Some children would never get a reward trip! What do they do about children with ongoing illness requiring regular doctor or hospital visits? I can see why absence for holidays in term time would count against a pupil but an illness is just not fair. I am eternally grateful that my children didn't attend such mis-managed schools!

AliciaBASZ Mon 15-May-17 14:31:31


Thank you for your messages. This relieves my heart... I wasn't sure if I was a trouble maker...

I've sent a short message to the headteacher and wait for her answer. I've got a 2 pages letter waiting for her... but I think I will stick to the main issue...

Judashascomeintosomemoney Mon 15-May-17 14:38:26

Astro Illness counts against you at your DCs school? That's awful. My daughter, whose attendance % is atrocious due to her weekly hospital appointments, would be effed at your school. Thank god her actual school is eminently sensible about these things. I can imagine that if she felt she was being punished for being ill it'd really help her......not.

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