Could I miss first ever Year 7 Parents Evening?

[oklumberjack]

I have a very important business meeting scheduled in May. This meeting has already had one failed attempt (due to a family bereavement in the middle of it). Tried to re-schedule several times. Finally settled on a date.

Got a letter home from my Y7 dd today that Parents Evening is scheduled for that day. It's the first ever one, and I'll have 3 hours travelling time from my meeting each way. Not really do-able.

My dh has taken off so much time for compassionate leave he has no days left to take as holiday.

What do I do? I've never missed a parents evening before. Do I beg to reschedule my business meeting and worry about being unprofessional or do I look like an awful parent for not attending?

[Wolfiefan]

Aren't these dates published in advance on the school website?
I would want to attend but it depends how school reports have been and whether you have any concerns.

[oklumberjack]

School reports have been great so far. No, many diary dates are published far in advance but not this one it seems.

[worshiptheavocado]

Yes, just contact the school and ask for anyone with concerns to contact you. Parents evenings are by and large a waste of time. Sorry for your loss.

[ProfYaffle]

Agree with avocado. Dd1 is in Year 8 and I loathe the High School parents evenings, really badly organised, timetable goes out of the widow, queuing for 20 mins to spend 3 mins with the teacher (repeat x 6)

[relaxo]

Secondary school parents evenings have not been as useful as primary school ones for me. The teachers don't know my child as well as the primary school ones and I generally know how they are doing based on test scores and homework. The teachers don't usually have enough slots anyway. PE is 3 hours long at our school. 10 minute slot = 6 per hour so the teachers only see 2/3 of the class. There's always a teacher or two who can not make PE on the day anyway.

[Dreardre]

Make it work. Turn up. Sorry it's really tricky.

[schokolade]

I think it would be fine to contact in advance, explain, and ask for anyone with concerns to contact. Perhaps the core subject teachers might be able to email/call anyway (not sure).

And obviously explain to your DD as well so that she knows there's a good reason.

As an alternative, perhaps there is someone who could attend in your place? Granny/uncle etc?

[oklumberjack]

Thanks everyone. I'm going to see if dh can possibly make it (by working through several lunch breaks and leaving a few hours early). If not, I'll email her tutor and explain. I really don't think I can cancel another meeting.

We've just had a monitoring report published on the school interweb thingy. All subjects great and great comments from tutor. I've no huge concerns but just wanted to basically show up

[Violetcharlotte]

Agree with others who say secondary school parents evenings are a waste of time. Just let them know you can't make it and ask them to let you know if there's anything they want to discuss with you.

[ohforfoxsake]

Explain you can't make it and ask to speak to the form tutor or head of year. It's no biggie.

It's little more than a meet and greet. A lot of queueing.

If there are any issues you'll know soon enough.

[Trifleorbust]

I would email core subject teachers, apologising that you are unable to attend and asking them to let you know if they have any concerns. You will receive data from school and reports from your DC, which you can then triangulate with what the teachers do/do not say.

Bear in mind that teachers usually raise behavioural issues before academic ones in Y7.

[Noodledoodledoo]

Agree email teachers direct if you have any concerns that you would have raised, speak to your daughter as well as she might have used the evening to raise her own concerns - as a teacher I ask students if anything is concerning them as they are more likely to mention it without peers around.

Please though give staff a chance to respond - I can teach up to 60 students in one year group - if a large number of parents do the same that is quite a big work load, and I make every effort to see all of them if they wish.

I know parents evenings are a pain but it is the most efficient way - if we miss one I have to call all parents of students in my class - I can do 50 appointments in the 3-4hours of parents evening - 50 phone calls takes a heck of a lot longer!

[noblegiraffe]

Y7 parents evening is not so vitally important that you need to cancel important stuff to go, especially if reports are glowing and you're likely to just turn up to be told that your DC is great and to keep up the good work x 10. Agree with emailing the school and asking teachers to contact you if they have any concerns.

[SerialReJoiner]

I would suggest a meeting with any subject teachers you have concerns about. My ds has his first y7 parents evening in a couple of weeks, and I've scheduled myself in to see all of them, but I have some issues I want to bring up.

[noblegiraffe]

No, don't suggest meetings with teachers, face to face meetings outside of parents evenings are a complete pain the arse to organise. Much better is a phone call or email.

[oklumberjack]

Thanks everyone. I really have no issues I want to raise. Dd's reports have been good so far and she's happy in school. I'm thinking I would regret cancelling an important meeting to go.

I'm going to send dh on his own (he can just about get there I think). It'll be his first parents evening for years!

[whathaveiforgottentoday]

if i knew in advance as a teacher i'm happy to make a quick phone call or no concerns i usually just write a quick note in their planner. If there are no concerns you would be ok to miss it.

[ToesInWater]

I missed this last year due to a family bereavement. We're luckily in that we have the option of scheduling 1:1 meetings with class teachers any time we want to but tbh DD was doing fine so although I felt guilty it wasn't a biggie. Don't beat yourself up.

[AllThreeWays]

I'm a teacher, if reports are good and no concerns have been raised, I really don't want to see you, we have three nights for three hours and I teach 180 different students. It is mostly a waste of my time.

Most of the parents just want to meet the teachers, even though their child is doing fine, the course documents and assignments are all online and no concerns have been raised.

Seriously, don't feel bad for not going, most teachers appreciate you not taking uptheir evenings.
The parents I actually want to see never come.