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Changing DC school - impact on sibling

(5 Posts)
WhyOhWine Fri 24-Mar-17 19:26:28

We are coming close to concluding that we need to change DC1's school. The reasons are unusual (and possibly identifying) but do not involve bullying etc. In case it makes a difference to the answers, it is an academically selective private school and we would hope to move DC1 to a similar school (the reasons are not related to academics).
DC2 is at the same current school and is happy there, so we would not plan to move DC2. The issues relating to DC1 are not relevant to DC2.
The school will be disappointed about DC1 leaving (and it will require them to address an issue that they have been burying their heads in the sands on., and would probably like to continue to do so).
I am a little worried about whether DC1's departure will impact school's attitude to DC2 (although to be fair to the school I have no specific reason to worry about this and they generally come across as fair).
Anyone else moved a child and left a sibling there? Any fall out?

Oblomov17 Fri 24-Mar-17 19:29:45

Yes. Had a terrible time with school and ds1. Ds2 still there. I would move him if I could but I can't. He seems unaware. I can't say for sure if it's affected him or not. It's kind of impossible to tell.

Witchend Fri 24-Mar-17 19:45:32

It depends.

You say dc2 is happy there. In which case he won't mind staying. But is he actually happy there, or is he a placid child who doesn't make a fuss.

I wouldn't have thought the school would do anything differently for dc2, but you will have to watch your attitude. Things like a parent saying "oh why did you move dc1?" if he's overhearing-or the parent might pass it back to their child who might repeat it, it isn't fair for him to hear you don't like his school.
My parents did that, and it really felt rubbish. Then they moved me and I discovered fairly quickly all the "brilliance" they'd seen was a total smoke screen and there were big issues. They didn't believe me.

WhyOhWine Fri 24-Mar-17 20:21:17

Thanks. DC2 is definitely happy there. DC2 and I will definitely be asked about the reasons for DC1's departure (they are close in age and there are siblings in the 2 years), but there is an honest (if a bit simplistic) answer to the question that I would feel comfortable with DC2 hearing, although the school would not love.

shouldwestayorshouldwego Sat 25-Mar-17 12:46:52

I think that the issue may be that you lose faith in the school's ability to address issues. Not necessarily the same issues but it can mean that you eventually decide to move ds2. It's not to say that you shouldn't move ds1. We moved some of ours and they are much happier but you do see the school in a different light. It was a relief when the last one left (to secondary).

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