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Relationships/dating at mixed boarding schools

(9 Posts)
lesliexanita Sat 25-Feb-17 15:16:49

Hello all,
I'm about to send dd to a coed boarding school, and i was wondering what the boy-girl relationships would be like in a mixed boarding school.
I'm just curious, as the teens will spend time with the opposite sex 24/7hmm
Anyone got some firsthand experience?

lesliexanita Sat 25-Feb-17 15:23:07

Forgot to mention, i asked the school's admission officer about this, to which he replied that there were 'very very few real relationships' in the school, which i do not quite believe, as teenagers will be teenagers i suppose.

FantasyAndHope Sat 25-Feb-17 15:24:48

Dd is in a mixed boarding school. She's a weekly boarder.
It's just like primary school (if your dc attends a mixed primary school)
In dds school boys and girls have separate boarding houses like most but I can think of 1 or 2 where there are mixed boarding houses
So assuming your dc is at a school where boys and girls are in separate boarding house then boys won't be allowed into girls and vice Versa. At dds school their are extreme sanctions if caught going into the opposite sex boarding house.
But dd has good friendships with the boys and classes some of them as equally good friends as her female friends.
If you mean boyfriend/girlfriend relationships there are some at dds school but it doesn't affect anything

gillybeanz Sat 25-Feb-17 15:31:29

My dd school they separate the girls from the boys on different levels of the boarding house until y9. They are able to mix in the common room on the ground floor, but neither sex are allowed onto the floor of the opposite sex.
At y9 they are separated into single sex boarding houses, which dd is not looking forward to as she loves being in the common room with the boys.

As for boyfriend girlfriend relationships, they aren't allowed to be together in public, like holding hands or snogging.
They do find a dark corner though like all kids will, but this tends to be the 6th formers not the younger ones.
My dd 13 quite often see a couple under their boarding house where they believe nobody can see them grin

gillybeanz Sat 25-Feb-17 15:34:02

Just saw your teenagers will be teenagers comment.
I think as they live in close proximity to each other and are in classes with each other, relationships tend not to exist, it does seem like the odd case.
I think they realise even at this young age that any falling out would result in different friendship groups and changing friends which would be a whole heap of problems they could do without.

ImSoPretty Sat 25-Feb-17 15:37:01

At Dc coed school, there is a no contact policy. No kissing, no hugging, no holding hands etc.
They certainly are not together 24/7.
They have separate houses. I think there is some visiting time allowed but not sure when it is. Girls are not allowed in ANY boys rooms, infact they don't get as far as the stairs. It's the same with the girls houses.

happygardening Sat 25-Feb-17 15:48:48

The coed boarding schools 'Ive been involved with professionally have allowed girls into boys houses at certain times but not into dorms etc. Its inevitable and completely normal that relationships between girls and boys, boys and boys and girls and girls will occur most schools accept this but don't want it flaunted some IMO and thankfully at least one others over react!.
At DS2's school the boys weren't allowed to have boy-boy relationships with each other but of course it went on.

Hoppinggreen Sat 25-Feb-17 18:36:55

I went to a coed boarding school as a day pupil.
A few pregnancies and sex related expulsions during my time there. By the time I was in year 10 I could have told you all the places people went to "do it"
Might not have been typical/be typical now but it was certainly an issue then

W8woman Sat 25-Feb-17 21:46:40

Was a boarder 16-18 in the first wave of co-ed boarding in last years of the 80s. We were all boy mad. Physical contact was verboten but we knew exactly who was doing what to whom and where the best places were to be undiscovered. Smokers and drinkers tended to be the most prolific shaggers. We girls were worse than the boys.

If DD ever boards, we will go girls' school for this very reason.

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