Hello all.
This may turn into a bit of a rant/cry for help but a little background first.
I have two sons, one just 18 and one just 16. 18 yo born with Down's Syndrome and other 'fun' stuff, but now happily in a supported college place (yeah, suck on that, Iceland).
The issues we are having is with my younger son, just turned 16, and in the final run up to his GCSE's.
16 yo boy has perhaps been slightly 'over indulged' so as to not make his think he's being left out.
However, as a consequence, we may have been more lenient on his behaviour over the years than we should of. This also partly due to a nasty case of bullying in his last year of primary, which even briefly involved the Police, and left him with quite noticeable social anxiety.
He has wanted for nothing in terms of the stuff in his life. He has been bought several musical instruments, gone on holidays and school trips, good clothes and is chauffeured everywhere by myself of his mum. (We do this as perhaps his social anxiety stops him form using public transport, but this notion is being challenged.)
Since he turned 13, his behaviour has gone from bad to worse. Initially we gave him the benefit of the doubt, as we felt guilty about the bullying at his primary - which we were unaware of at the time. However, as he's grown older, things have degenerated to the point where he is not only continually rude and sulky, but also physically threatening at times. Even to the point where a simple 'hello' from us in the morning received the instant reply 'f*ck off!' and it generally goes downhill from there. He has absolutely no respect or even social tolerance for either of us or his brother.
He has been in a relationship with lovely girl for the past three years, whom we have included on our holidays over the years. She is fantastic and polite at our house. And the Lad is by all accounts lovely at her house with her parents. He just reserves all his anger for us. And when not with her or doing something else, he shuts himself away and sits on his damned game console all night. Despite this, his teachers tell us they are generally happy with his school progress, but as ever, 'could do better'.
So what's to be done? How can we restore some civility to our relations? Is this hormonal? frustration? My wife is at her wit's end about this, as am I. I'm even contemplating getting him to move out somewhere else, which just before his GCSE's is that last thing we want to do.
Any suggestions or pointers welcome.
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Secondary education
Son's apalling behaviour - have we made a monster?
23 replies
Macnadoodle · 06/02/2017 15:50
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