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Hate being presented with a fait accompli

(4 Posts)
insan1tyscartching Fri 16-Dec-16 11:19:15

I appealed dd's statement of SEN and successfully secured five more hours of TA support for dd. Yesterday at the meeting to discuss how and where the five hours would be implemented it quickly became apparent that the school had already asked dd where she wanted the support implementing and had already pencilled it in.
It's more than annoying because firstly whilst dd might have preferences it's not always well reasoned or well thought out. So she wants TA support throughout Music but her reason is that the TA could then speak to the teacher regarding grouping and performance. Whereas that could be sorted with communication between SENCo/TA and Music teacher anyway without the need to use one hour's support weekly in a lesson where dd excels and thrives so long as the teacher is sensitive regarding grouping and performance (and she is generally and always is if a difficulty is pointed out)
Alongside that the extra hours were secured to put in place specific programmes and also to remove some of the stress dd experiences with a timetable tweak and with 1 to 1 TA support during two "free periods" Instead rather than prioritising those two free periods dd is left twiddling her thumbs in the library unsupported whilst the TA "observes" during Music and Drama lessons (both lessons where she has more than managed previously without support and where the teachers have a good grasp on her difficulties)
So is it unreasonable of me to email SENCo today and say that so that dd sees a united front (because it's important that dd sees that school and home are in agreement) I will agree to the support being implemented as she chooses for the first half term in the New Year. But also add that I want a meeting to review this, without dd present, before next half term?

insan1tyscartching Fri 16-Dec-16 11:22:39

Just to clarify I want to review and alter the support before Easter as it reads that I want a meeting today confused

bojorojo Fri 16-Dec-16 16:17:33

The additional time should be used for the reason it was agreed. You should speak to the SendCo because your DD is not the decision-maker here. It is to give support where it has been established support is needed and that should be in the statement.

insan1tyscartching Fri 16-Dec-16 16:55:15

Yes it is in the statement, it specifies the programmes, and for how long and how often they need to be carried out so it's not a wishy washy statement. It specifies exactly what the two hours "free periods" should be used for and also that TA support should be one to one for those periods.
As I emailed today it makes it very difficult when they discuss this with dd and ask her preferences instead of organising support to meet her statement because I am automatically cast in the bad guy's role because what dd wants isn't necessarily in line with what she needs and I am the person disagreeing with what has been agreed.
It was difficult yesterday because I don't like dd to see that I don't fully agree with the school so didn't really challenge the school's plan properly plus the fact I was going to have to raise the fact that dd has difficulties that need working on and placing a TA in Music and Drama was just lazy and undermining what independence dd has.
The SENCo was at the meeting, I've had a reply, they agree to review (not sure they understand why I insist it's reviewed) and that all meetings in future will be held with dd attending after there has been discussion and an agreement between home and school made.
Just annoying that for six weeks the extra support I worked hard to secure won't really benefit dd at all tbh.

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