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Year 7 Transition & Settling In

(7 Posts)
DaisyDoodle2005 Mon 10-Oct-16 17:12:11

Hi there

My DD started a new specialist High School in September by choice, leaving the Middle School she joined in year 6. We expected some anxiety in the first couple of weeks as it was a new school with non of her old primary and middle school friends. There were tears and a few sore tummies but we (and she) were confident that she would settle in and get over it.

She has made friends and appears to be settling in well - enjoying most of the classes and the extra - curricular activities (it a Performing Arts school so she does a number of dance, drama and music classes).

The days are much longer (8.15am to 4.30pm each day) and she is clearly very tired but has seemed to be happy, coming home buzzing most days and showing us what she's learned etc.

However, she's developed another sore tummy and in the 5 weeks of term so far, she hasn't managed a full week.

I'm worried about her and wondering if we should try and get her back into her old middle school where she was settled and happy, or tough it out but look at what extra support we can get from the school to help her settle. I really don't know what the problem is and am getting to the point where I just want to see her happy and smiling again, not feeling poorly all the time.

Does anyone have a similar experience they can share and any words of support / wisdom that might help us decide what to do next?


noblegiraffe Mon 10-Oct-16 17:36:45

If she is coming home happy and has friends, then taking her out to put her back in middle school would seem like a backwards step.

I would make an appointment to see her tutor at the new school to discuss how she is settling in and her attendance, see what they say. Also see if there are any changes that can be made at home to make things easier for her - earlier bedtime, vitamins, cancelling some extra curricular activities, quieter weekends?

DaisyDoodle2005 Mon 10-Oct-16 20:33:17

Thanks - we'll do that. We talked to her tonight and she misses her old friends so we're going to arrange for her to seen more of them. There's nothing seriously wrong at her new school - it's more that it's much bigger and she's struggling with the long days so we'll try some earlier bed times.

She said that she doesn't want to go to school tomorrow - she wants to go on Wednesday - tomorrow morning might not be much fun!

Meloncoley2 Mon 10-Oct-16 20:45:16

Yes, do talk to her tutor about what is happening. I always think it takes me 6 months to settle into a new job and I am an adult!

LockedOutOfMN Mon 10-Oct-16 22:05:15

Sounds like she is tired, which is very normal at the start of Year 7. Lots to remember (names, places, times) and lots more physical effort of carrying things all over the place as well as the longer day, plus more expectation to be responsible.

Possibly she could have an iron deficiency or just needs to eat more overall or more foods that give her energy. Blood test at the doctor might answer that question? Plenty of sleep, and recharging of batteries at the weekends.

Also could the stomach pains be growing pains or periods on their way?

DaisyDoodle2005 Tue 11-Oct-16 13:03:04

Thanks all

She made it to school today, albeit with lots of tears. The school have been great - her form tutor is looking after her and has spoken to her friends and the pastoral care leader is also looking out for her. We think, after some web research that she's suffering from separation anxiety brought on by the change in school. We'll look at getting some counseling support and hope she'll settle in soon. It's heartbreaking seeing your child in so much distress but know it's worse to keep her off school

DaisyDoodle2005 Fri 21-Oct-16 13:12:54

Hi there. I thought I'd provide an update for anyone who might find themselves in a similar situation in future and is looking for advice (and hope).

After 6 and a half weeks of tears, stomach aches, headaches and asking to go back to her old school we've finally made it - and it was just like flicking a switch.

We had a long heart to heart at the weekend talking about what she didn't like about school etc and she gave lots of reasons why she wanted to go back to her old school. We agreed to get through the last week before half term and then talk again. And then, a miracle. After 3 days of tears before school again, she came home yesterday and announced that she wanted to stay in her new school. As simple as that! She'd given it lots of thought and come to the conclusion that its the right decision. Just like that back to smiley and happy DD, stomach ache disappeared and started talking positively about the future at school. Cant put my finger on one thing that changed her attitude but having gone from thinking she needed counselling and was seriously considering moving schools I now couldn't be happier (as well as DD). So, I would say, for anyone in a similar situation - talk through the pros and cons, make sure they go to school in the meantime and then give them time to think it through. Good luck smile

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