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School trips abroad. If we say no to going on the trip, how will this effect DD?

(32 Posts)
Beatles19 Wed 05-Oct-16 20:39:24

DD is in first year at secondary school and there is a trip abroad organised to learn the language and explore the city. They will be Travelling by coach overnight and then ferry, followed by a week of activities, coming home 5 days later.

They are going to a country where DD is already fluent, as DH is from this country so it will be no advantage for that.
Also I'm not keen on the idea of a coach overnight but I havent at all put my concerns on to DD.

She isn't too fussed either way, but if we decide that she isnt going, will it be a big disadvantage to her?
Thank you for any ideas and thôughts.

AChickenCalledKorma Wed 05-Oct-16 22:13:56

I guess it depends what proportion of the year group go on the trip. We have a similar one offered in year 7 but only a fraction of the students go on it so it's no big deal if you don't. Is there any way you can find out from the school - or parents of older kids?

If a high proportion go, then there is a risk of it becoming a big shared experience that she feels excluded from. Also there might be kudos for her in being fluent and able to help the others with language issues?

BackforGood Wed 05-Oct-16 23:10:32

Are you the same person that has started the other thread ?
If not, there's 2 of you asking the same question hmm

Not much point in her going if she is already fluent in the language, unless of course she particularly wants to and the money isn't a problem for you. There will be plenty of dc who don't go on a trip like this.

bojorojo Wed 05-Oct-16 23:23:26

I think it depends on how many other children go and if her friends go. If she is not fussed you won't have her pleading with you to go. She may run the risk of being seen as superior in that she does not need this experience, unlike some of the others who will see it as good fun, a chance to make friends in a different non-school environment, and even worthwhile. My DDs never passed up chances to do anything with friends and would have hated being out of the "chat" loop on return. School trips are never totally about the educational academic content alone. They are partly about being away from home, getting along with friends in a dorm or hotel, having a laugh, being prepared for the day, seeing your teachers in a different light, entertaining yourself and joining in with songs, and spreading your wings away from parents for a bit.

I do agree with you re the overnight coach though. Why not go during the day?

bojorojo Wed 05-Oct-16 23:28:38

Oh, and, if people do not support trips, they may end up being cancelled and worse, the teachers stop organising them altogether. So when something may have been educationally useful, it doesn't happen.

2StripedSocks Thu 06-Oct-16 07:01:54

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

mummytime Thu 06-Oct-16 07:49:35

Umm - when I was at school in a deprived area (and having a lone parent Mum so we were pretty poor); my school ran language trips and lots of people went, because they help.
In the OP's case it sounds as if they are trying to keep the costs down: hence overnight coach. However it doesn't sound as if it will be of benefit to the OP's DD, who already knows the country and language. So I wouldn't be too bothered.

2StripedSocks Thu 06-Oct-16 07:57:18

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Bobochic Thu 06-Oct-16 08:53:59

I have been in your position, OP. I didn't send DD and it was totally fine.

redskytonight Thu 06-Oct-16 08:55:34

Unless it's a private school or you're in a very affluent area, I would imagine only a fraction of the year group that will be going anyway. So will make no difference to your DD.

That said, why are you so anxious? There will be other similar trips in the future - I would definitely say it will affect her if she can't go on any of them!

Sunnydawn Thu 06-Oct-16 08:58:49

Again, it depends how many children are going.

If it's most of the year group, then she may really enjoy the independence and fun of a trip with her friends. My DS really benefitted from his year 7 residential.

If it is just a few children, then maybe not

MycatsaPirate Thu 06-Oct-16 09:00:17

My oldest didn't go on one school trip abroad. it didn't affect her education at all, most of them seem to be a bit of a jolly with not a whole lot of learning (paris for two days, disneyland for 1?).

DD2 will probably not get to do these trips either. We just can't afford it and can't justify paying that amount of money out.

LIZS Thu 06-Oct-16 09:02:43

Are the majority likely to go? I doubt it is as much about learning language as exposure to a different culture and bonding for the children and staff. If many are likely to go then what is planned for those who stay.

IrenetheQuaint Thu 06-Oct-16 09:05:03

We had a Y7 trip like this and practically the whole year went (it was shorter and I imagine heavily subsidised). It was a big bonding thing with not very much French and lots of hysteria, overtiredness and ridiculous arguments fun, and much reminisced about in future years.

I don't think her ability with the language is necessarily that relevant, it's the social aspect that matters here - if she wants to go and if all her friends are going.

Helenluvsrob Thu 06-Oct-16 13:19:59

I'd be very reluctant to not send her . This sort of thing ( assuming all/most of the year go) is bonding them as year group for school life. To not have that shared experience will set her apart from the main group if you are not careful. Going and getting to know everyone will mean all the " I have to move groups" stresses down the line are much less

Helenluvsrob Thu 06-Oct-16 13:20:36

Overnight coach is normal and fine too.

nocampinghere Thu 06-Oct-16 14:43:04

on another point, why is she learning a language at school she is already fluent in? surely most schools push bi-lingual children to take a different language option?

Stickerrocks Thu 06-Oct-16 16:52:01

nocampinghere They may not have the opportunity to do this. Our school put children into one of two European language streams for years 7 & 8. Most children received their preference, but some were just allocated a language if they had no preference.There was no opportunity to take a second language, despite most of the language department being fluent in a third language. MFL was not compulsory from year 9 onwards.

myfavouritecolourispurple Fri 07-Oct-16 09:18:20

My son went on a trip like this in Y7 with a 24 hour coach journey. Half the year do that language and about half of them went because they only had one coach. I don't know if they had a ballot for it, but they had done for other trips since which my son didn't get a place on.

Not everyone will go so it's up to you. But even if she's fluent, surely it's a good experience anyway?

celeryisnotasuperfood Fri 07-Oct-16 09:26:06

I am still gutted at 40 years of age about the second year trip I didn't go on. As a shy quiet girl it was the social aspect that I missed out on and the sense of 'belonging' in the weeks and months afterwards that heightened my upset.
I had a chat with my mum recently and it came up. The reason given that I always accepted was the cost, but my mum said that now with hindsight she says she would have found a way to find the money. Even though it may not have changed the fundamental unhappiness of my school years she would have done it to at least give me a few weeks of 'belonging'.

Badbadbunny Fri 07-Oct-16 10:33:42

My son has been on a few trips and missed a few trips. To be honest, he doesn't seem bothered either way. He's never told us he's felt left out of anything. When they get back, school life just seems to carry on as normal. Despite what they say, there are always several kids who don't go on the residential/foreign trips for various reasons, so it's highly unlikely your DD will be the only one left in school whilst the others are away. School will either run the lessons as normal if there are a number of them, or put them in with other classes if just a handful or less.

The first time he missed one, we made sure to ask the teacher about any projects or other school work they may do in class once they are back and how they'd cope with my son being unable to participate, but the teacher was clear that there'd be no classroom or homework re the trip and that lessons would just carry on as if the trip hadn't happened. And that's exactly what we have experienced.

In his last year at primary school, "all" his year were going to an outward bound centre on the Isle of Man for a week. The letters home etc made out that everyone went and was just short of saying it was compulsory. For a few reasons, we told them my son wouldn't be going, and got phone calls from the class teacher and headmaster asking why and putting pressure and the usual emotional blackmail about missing out etc., As it turned out, there were 7 out of his class of 29 who didn't go and once the others returned, hardly anything was said by neither teachers nor pupils - all forgotten within a day!

CryingShame Fri 07-Oct-16 10:59:01

I'd let her go, but for the social and personal side of attending - fostering independence, sharing a room with other pupils, going on the ferry / Eurotunnel etc. rather than the language per se.

What aspect of overnight coach travel worries you? It's common for the drivers and if it's a long drive, rather than just a late ferry, they will have 2 drivers who swap over so one can sleep.

Balletgirlmum Fri 07-Oct-16 11:03:54

Dd went on both of her French trips (she paid for one out of birthday & Xmas money)

In year 7 most went but in year 9 only about half. Dd loves languages so felt itvwas important to her but had it been a history or geography trip probably wouldn't have gone.

iseenodust Fri 07-Oct-16 11:14:00

As it's first year in secondary school I think there will be a large element of friendships strengthening so I would consider how well she has settled into to school so far and the proportion out of the year going. DS went on a similar trip and had a great time but I've said no to the expensive ski trip looming.

Beatles19 Fri 07-Oct-16 18:41:50

Thank you so much to everyone who has replied with their experiences. Lots to think about.

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