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Connect with other parents whose children are starting secondary school on this forum.

Connect with other parents whose children are starting secondary school on this forum.

Secondary education

How do you actually get your child into Private school?

20 replies

ihatethecold · 04/10/2016 13:05

I know that makes me sound a bit dense but my children have all been educate in state school.

My DD13 is very unhappy at school, we are trying to help her with her anxiety so she can cope better.

One thing that keeps popping into my head is to send her to private school because i think they will be more nurturing.

We are lucky in that we live just outside a city that has lots of private schools to choose from.

How do you send your child there?
Is it just because you can afford it?
Do you have to sit a special test to get a place?
Do you just visit and ask if there are any spaces available?
How do you know which one would be best for your child?

OP posts:

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PatriciaHolm · 04/10/2016 13:09

Your first step would be to contact the schools in question; some schools will have tests, some interviews, some both, some neither. Some will have spaces, some won't!

As for which is best, then you would need to visit, talk to them about your child and gauge from their responses whether you think they would suit her needs. Some may be more nurturing than your existing schools, but realistically some may not - private schools vary widely.

Do you know any other parents at the relevant schools? Ask on here too, someone may know the schools.

DialMforMummy · 04/10/2016 13:23

I guess you need to be more specific as to why your DD is unhappy in her school and where her anxiety comes from. Aged 13, it is not unusual to feel anxious and a easier answer might be to consider (private or not counselling) rather than the upheaval of a change of school midyear which could aggravate the symptoms.

DialMforMummy · 04/10/2016 13:27

(private or not) counselling I meant, sorry

2014newme · 04/10/2016 13:29

You apply.
The application process will be on the website.
Whether there is a test will depend on whether the school is academically
selective or not.
Can you afford the fees?
Why do you think it would be more nurturing if you haven't been to look around how do you know?

ihatethecold · 04/10/2016 14:02

I don't know if it would be more nurturing.
Just my illusion i suppose of smaller classes and more time for the kids to be themselves.

Maybe I'm completely wrong
Its just something that I'm thinking about really.

The school are trying to help pastorally and i am doing a referral through the GP to child mental health services.

OP posts:

2014newme · 04/10/2016 14:07

Go and have a look at the private schools. Be honest about your dds issues and ask how they would support her

DialMforMummy · 04/10/2016 14:09

Has your DD expressed the wish to move school? That is an important factor especially with dealing with a vulnerable child.

2014newme · 04/10/2016 14:09

If it's being in a large class that makes her anxious then smaller classes could help. More time to be yourself isn't very tangible you would need to think more about what you mean by that. Pupils in private schools are kept just as busy as state schools.

ihatethecold · 04/10/2016 14:23

She does say she would like to go to a private school but in all honesty right now i think she says it like it will be a magic wand and get rid of her problems.

I'm trying to help her with her anxiety and learn how to manage it but we do need professional help also

OP posts:

LongestSummer · 04/10/2016 15:49

If your child has anxiety, the first thing to do is to get professional medical (mental health) help. (If you've already done that, forgive me.) Schools and teachers are not the answer for mental health problems. Good luck - managing anxiety is an exhausting journey, but it's possible to get there.

Abraiid2 · 04/10/2016 15:54

She would possible be kept even busier with activities. And the day could well be longer.

ChazsBrilliantAttitude · 04/10/2016 16:31

It really depends on the school. Bear in mind that some private schools can be very competitive rather than nuturing so you really need to go and see the schools. Small schools can be good as can small classes but if a school is too small then there might not be a broad enough friendship group if there are a few dominant characters i.e. if there is one class of 16 then any tensions will be magnified compared to 3 classes of 15.

I have two children in private school one in Yr5 and one in Yr9 and both schools keep the children busy and see joining in with extra curricular activities as important.

Trying2bgd · 05/10/2016 16:18

It totally depends on the school, some are academic selective and others are about being able to pay. All schools have different characters so it is important to go visit the school and get an insight into the philosophy. There is a school near me in London which ask the girls to take part in meditation at the beginning of the school day and at breaks as well as being vegetarian and on the other side there are schools known for pressure cooking kids. Also check out whether they have in-school counsellors who might be able to support your daughter, some private schools really take mental health seriously. Basically ask a lot of questions when you go to visit and see the Head.
Good luck

WhoKnowsWhereTheTimeG0es · 05/10/2016 16:25

A lot around us are having open days in the next week or so for admission next year, I would get googling and see if you can get along to any likely contenders.

HeartsTrumpDiamonds · 05/10/2016 16:25

Your first step is websites. They will all have their admissions policy and fee info on there, in addition to information on bursaries should you need financial assistance.

From there, create a short list.

Then attend open days if possible, collect prospectuses (although a lot of schools are doing away with these), meet with the head and make friends with the admissions registrar. IME it is not that unusual to have new students join mid-year, if there is space and they pass whatever other admissions criteria, tests, interviews etc.

Don't forget to consider the commute!

fittedcupboard · 05/10/2016 20:53

So she's 13, does that mean she's in year 8? You'll have missed the standard entry points until sixth form and I doubt any school will want to take her mid GCSE's, so you are basically looking at a chance vacancy this year or next year or else wait and apply for sixth form.

So as said above, you really need to ring round all the local ones, find out if they ever have chance vacancies and go and look round the ones that do, then go from there.

ihatethecold · 06/10/2016 11:48

Thanks everyone, your advice is very useful.
The school she is at moment seems to be pulling their finger out and are putting in place ways to help her with her anxiety.

They have also dealt with a boy who appears to be fixated with my DD.

we will see how things go.

OP posts:

2014newme · 06/10/2016 12:45

I think starting again in a new school can be stressful and requires resilience which she may not currently have

ihatethecold · 06/10/2016 12:50

I think you are probably right 2014

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iseenodust · 07/10/2016 15:01

She may not be ready for a change of school now but if you go and look at a couple just knowing there are options may help.

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