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Really not sure about my daughters sepecial school...

(5 Posts)
chuffinalong Mon 19-Sep-16 12:21:38

Hi, Iike the title says, I'm really not sure about my daughters secondary school. Everyone says what a good school it is, but I've seen nothing yet to back that up.
Several things are concerning me, the first is that my DH dropped my DD's coat to school as it started to rain after she'd left on her bus, and he didn't want her to get wet. Two days later we still didn't have her coat and she said she hadn't seen it. I messaged the teacher and asked about it, she said that she'd ask my daughter if she'd found it... then nothing. My DH went back into school with her a few days later as she'd missed the bus, through anxiety related illness. He saw her coat still in the office, so bought it home.

Then there were the letters coming home, which we promptly signed and sent back in her bag, which weren't being collected. There are now 7 in her bag. I sent a message to say that they were there and I didn't want her to think we weren't responding. So she messaged back to say that she's taken them out but 'A' needs to learn to do these things herself. Also that she'll remind her, so that's something, but my DD didn't know what to do with them. I was reminding her every morning.

She is also being teased for 'fancying' a boy she's made friends with and was pushed into him but some other children, chanting "kiss him, kiss him!" She's also made a friend who is in foster care and has suffered horrific abuse and is opening up to my daughter about it. sad My DD has just said things like "that's not very nice is it?" so I don't think fully understands the horror of it.

I know she hasn't been at the school very long at all, but all these things are making me wonder if we've made the right decision to send her there?
She's not eating at breakfast or very much of her packed lunch, then she seems starving when she comes home. So she's obviously anxious when she's there. I know all these things are minor really, but my DD never seems to be enjoying it there and with all these little things during a short space of time, I'm a bit concerned we've made the wrong choice..

allwornout0 Mon 19-Sep-16 14:02:55

What kind of special school is this? My dd special school would never have children teasing each other like that.
Communication wide, unfortunately I have found the same problem in my dd special school which is very annoying as the children there generally are unable to pass on information verbally themselves so we are very reliant on good communication from staff.
As you dd is becoming very anxious about all of this I think you need to contact the teacher as soon as possible to tell her what is happening and arrange a meeting.

chuffinalong Mon 19-Sep-16 16:05:55

Thank you, it's a school for children with moderate learning difficulties, with or without autism.

My daughter isn't as capable of thinking for herself as they'd like no doubt. Little things like if I put a jumper on her in the morning and the sun comes out, she'll come home baking. She won't think to take it off, and the same if I put the jumper in her bag and it gets cold...
I'll have to have a word.

allwornout0 Mon 19-Sep-16 17:07:13

Good luck. When I look back over the years I really wish that I had demanded more communication from staff to make sure my dd was happy and that things were going ok.
If you can, I would try and get the class teachers email address (some don't seem to be very forthcoming with giving theirs out) I think that often they seem more likely to take note of what you are concerned about if you email them instead of/ and phoning them.
Hope this makes sense.

chuffinalong Mon 19-Sep-16 19:17:10

It does make sense. smile Thank you. I don't want to come across as a nagging parent, but hey... Sometimes you have to.

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