Subtle bullying and what to do about it?(2 Posts)
I have a 13 year old who is in his second year of secondary in Scotland. He has always been a disorganised child and is constantly losing things but has got a little better as he has grown older. He is "quirky" in lots of ways - was assessed for dyspraxia and Aspergers in Primary School but although he ticked some of the boxes he didn't tick enough for a diagnosis, and we didn't push it as he is mostly coping OK. He is very bright but has zero social skills - cannot pick up when people are pissed off with him and struggles to make and keep friends.
Anyway. Last year in S1 he lost his locker key which eventually turned up, and two decent jackets (around £40 each) which he wears to school over his jacket. We replaced the first jacket but when the replacement was lost too, he had to help pay towards a third.
Two weeks into term, and he's already lost a calculator. I bumped into a mum of one of the girls in the class yesterday and she told me the boys had been banned from PE over lost shoes - someone has been taking a single trainer when the boys are changing, hiding it, and the person whose shoe is missing has to sit out PE (and gets into trouble with the teacher). The first victim of this prank was my son, and the next one was the class "naughty boy". The PE teacher went ballistic the second time it happened and told the boys there would be no PE and that they would be doing written work until someone confessed to taking the shoes.
So now I am wondering if there is more to the lost jackets and calculator than simple carelessness. I am happy with the way the PE dept are dealing with this latest incident but unsure whether to raise the previous losses with the school - my son is completely oblivious to whether people in the class like/don't like him and nasty comments generally go right over his head. He has been bullied in the past for his geekiness and general awkwardness though.
I think you should raise this with the school. Similar happened to my DS last year; he sounds very like your DS.
In our case also, we got info from a couple of the girls in his class as DS just clammed up.
Low level bullying. I was super grateful our school took it seriously. in our case, I spoke to Ds's tutor.
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