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son refusing to go back to school has told us he was sexually assaulted by a girl but police have been useless so have school

(14 Posts)
user1472937346 Sat 03-Sep-16 22:28:41

hi i am so lost as to what to do, i have posted on a couple of other forum sites in case you see this somewhere else.

my son is 14 and was due in school yesterday. he was sobbing the whole way in the car and just came out with it after a whole summer of him being withdrawn. he was in a lunch sports club and came back early girl followed him into boys changing and forced him into a sex act obviously no need for details and he hasnt even spoken to me about the details but spoke to his dad in detail about the events. i went into school while my husband took him to the police station. school were not quite getting it and said that they would like to speak to him but that sexual acts are not permitted at school and he could be in a lot of trouble!? hang on why were they having a go at him?? i left with not much luck police were not great either took a statement and that was it no one seems to be bothered and school havent even bothered to ring me back and i dont know what to do.

AtSea1979 Sat 03-Sep-16 22:31:05

Sounds like a dreadful situation for DS. Just keep going with it. Ask school and police for an update on Monday

noblegiraffe Sun 04-Sep-16 12:53:52

Your son has been sexually assaulted, don't phone the school, go in on Monday. This is serious and should be dealt with in person.

If they are suggesting that your son should get in trouble for being sexually assaulted, then ask if they would say the same if he were female. Confirm the police have been notified.

fastdaytears Sun 04-Sep-16 12:55:31

How horrible and really sad that your DS has been bottling this up all summer

Are the police really not doing anything?

Mittensonastring Sun 04-Sep-16 12:58:09

I have no idea who the right organisation would be but I think you should get him some counselling.

Agree to actually going in to school rather than phoning.

universityadvisesought Sun 04-Sep-16 16:34:02

Every school in both sectors should have someone who's lead for everything around child protection, this is a child protection concern. In the state sector it's often a designated govenor. Contact the chairman of the govenor as a matter of urgency verbally and in writing and ask who this person is and ask them to either inform this person immediately or say you'll do it.
For more advise contact Childline.

Footle Sun 04-Sep-16 16:54:09

The police should provide a trained vulnerable-witness officer to take his statement. I hope he gets the help he needs - you and his dad sound very supportive.

BertrandRussell Sun 04-Sep-16 16:57:24

Are the police not taking this forward?

mineofuselessinformation Sun 04-Sep-16 17:02:39

You need to speak to the DSL (Designated Safeguarding Lead). This is the person who is in charge of all safeguarding within school, and it is the law that every school has one.

Ollycat Sun 04-Sep-16 17:05:58

Your poor ds.

I work in a secondary school. Every school will have people responsible for safe guarding - in my school it is tge Head and SENCO. Ask who has responsibility and make an appointment to see them urgently. This is a disclosure and there are very strict ways this should be handled. Would your ds be able to write a statement at home which you could take in to school for your meeting - it would be useful if he could. The Head (or whoever your safeguarding person is) will be able to give you a very clear time scale of what will be done. You should also be able to get a copy of the safeguarding policy from the schools website (it is a legal requirement for each school to have one). I would also report the member of staff you initially spoke to.

bojorojo Sun 04-Sep-16 20:37:22

A governor is categorically not in charge of safeguarding at a school. They monitor the policy.

Every school must have a Safeguarding Policy and the safeguarding procedures should be available to all parents and the name of the member of school staff responsible should also be available to you. Often it is the Sendco, Deputy or Head. Schools must take this seriously and must arrange for investigation in accordance with the policy. Tomorrow, ask for an appointment to talk to the person responsible and familiarise yourself with the policy which may be on their website. They have a duty to follow it. Neither the school, nor the Police, can turn away from this. Speak to the Local Authority's Safeguarding Team if the school does not respond. However, as it was on school premises, you must follow the school's policy. Frequently school safeguarding policies are similar, so you can probably find a similar one on the web quite easily. There is almost certainly Government Advice available on their website about good practice in safeguarding. I wish you well.

bojorojo Sun 04-Sep-16 20:39:18

IT is, of course, must be on the website, not may. Of course not all schools comply!

minifingerz Tue 06-Sep-16 11:28:15

Phone the NSPCC helpline, they will advise.

Your poor ds. I'm so sorry for him. :-(

Iamdobby63 Tue 06-Sep-16 11:57:01

Are you now aware of the details? Obviously the school need the details and also need to be informed on how your son was over the summer.

I am so sorry, this is awful.

Keep on with the school, I would suggest via email direct to the head as you can take your time on it and can get the information across easier as you are bound to be upset. If you don't know the details then it should be your husband dealing with it.

If a police report has been taken then it is possible that the school won't take much action. Not sure why I think that though.

The police must have left you a number and did they tell your husband what their next course of action is?

How old was the girl?

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