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changing schools in yr 11

(23 Posts)
pullingmyhairout1 Thu 01-Sep-16 19:44:21

I have taken the decision to move my son and change his school because he has been horrifically bullied in and out of school for the last year. He has been physically assaulted in and out of school also and neither the school nor police will help us. I won't go into detail but it relates to whose children they are.

I am currently trying to contact a school where we are moving to in an attempt to persuade them to take him in if they have space in yr 10. I know it is a long shot but I fear if I don't do this his life is going to ruined. He has already threatened suicide. His attendance has dropped from 100% tof 83% in a year and his behaviour has become irrational and his attitude gradually worse.

I am deeply concerned about him, and honestly I don't know what else to do.

Can anyone help? Have they any experience of doing this?

Before anyone says it is know it's far from ideal.

Noitsnotteatimeyet Thu 01-Sep-16 21:59:13

If the school you're trying to move him to is a state school then you'll probably have issues around funding if you want him to repeat a year

You'd want to be very sure you weren't jumping from the frying pan into the fire - it's very hard integrating into a year group outside normal transition points - could you not try to support him through the rest of this year with a view to moving for sixth form?

pullingmyhairout1 Fri 02-Sep-16 13:00:12

It's an Academy. I appreciate your view but when your 15 year old wants to kill himself because of the bullying he is enduring you want to do anything you can to stop it. I'm not sure he can actually cope with another day here, let alone another year.

Frankly I don't care if they will allow him to repeat a year, if they don't all that will happen is that he'll have to resit if he screws them up which I have explained to him and he is quite happy with that.

I know I am being emotionally driven by this but I am scared. His bio-dad has a history of depression and one of his aunts committed suicide.

Frankly I am terrified.

LIZS Fri 02-Sep-16 14:15:27

Are CAMHS involved? You might have more success with a fe college which accepts 14-16 year olds.

mary21 Fri 02-Sep-16 15:10:46

Have you looked at inter high and www.redballoonlearner.org.
It might be that being out of a school environment is better.
It may be that a period of recovery prior to GCSEs,s would be good and "home ed" for a year the do GCSEs,s via sixth form college is best. It sounds as if his mental health is the priority right now

pullingmyhairout1 Fri 02-Sep-16 16:37:42

He was referred to CAMHs but they refused to see him. If I am honest I am getting no help whatsoever. I am tired, and emotional (not every day just occasionally) and I have no idea what to do for the best. All I can see is this scared boy and I cannot see any other way out right now.

The school obviously have their hands tied with what they can do. The police won't help with the out of school situation because of who the parents are. It is frustrating.

I have my Mum telling me I should stand and fight it, but at what cost?

My partner does not live with me and does not really know how to support us.

Thank you for the above suggestions. I will look into it.

Rebelkat Fri 02-Sep-16 17:30:48

I completely understand that you're feeling tired and emotional - we're in a similar position with my son and I'm feeling quite sick at the idea of the beginning of a new year - he's going into Year 10. Your mum's suggestion to stand and fight would be ok if you could do it for your son - but he's the one who has to face school every day! I'm interested in mary21 suggestion about doing GCSE's via a sixth form college - is that an option? How does that work?

Jaimx86 Fri 02-Sep-16 17:40:38

Another less than ideal situation is the school providing an alternative timetable for him.

My school has done this for several Year 11s this year. The reasons vary from pregnancy, awful behaviour, physical illness, and..., one poor lad who refused to attend due to bullying issues which were resolved, but left with boy with severe anxiety.

The school arranged different school hours so that he signed in and out when other students were in class. There was one lesson he felt comfortable so he attended that and then just has work set from all other subjects that he did in the SLT office.

He met with staff once a week to discuss the work he'd done in school and at home. He's just had his results and did very well. I'm glad he forced himself in to attend the alternative timetable despite being so distressed.

BoneyBackJefferson Fri 02-Sep-16 20:06:42

similar to Jaimx86

Ask if its possible for the new school to reduce his timetable so that he can have time to concentrate and a smaller range of subjects.

Sadusername Fri 02-Sep-16 20:22:16

Admittedly the circumstances were very different but my DD was home schooled for year 10 and then decided to do GCSEs at a local college that offered a 9 month resit course. Most of her classmates had failed or never taken their gcses. it was nothing like school, you just turned up to classes and she was by far the youngest, but she didn't have the stress of having to fit in socially and she ended up doing very well. She only did the number of GCSEs, that she needed to get to the next step. Find out if your local FE college does something like this.

noblegiraffe Fri 02-Sep-16 20:24:18

Would online schooling be an option? They may be more flexible.

pullingmyhairout1 Sat 03-Sep-16 07:18:20

Thank you for all your suggestions. Most of which I didn't even know were an option. I've applied for him to move and re-take 10 but if that doesn't work I know I have options now, which is a big relief. Thank you.

BooBoopBeep Sat 03-Sep-16 07:25:50

Do it. Do what's right for your son and you. Yes, if he goes into year 10, he will be set back slightly but it will give him a chance to start over, to catch up on what he's lost out on and to gain confidence again before leaving school to go on to college maybe.

Wish you both well. And I know it's hard when he can't see another way out. But it's not like this forever, prove them to be wankers when he walks out with good grades, a confident young man whilst they will always be cowardly bullies

Those arseholes who are bullying him will eventually get what's coming to them.

pullingmyhairout1 Sat 03-Sep-16 07:42:16

Thank you BooBoo

Goodgriefisitginfizzoclock Sat 03-Sep-16 07:50:46

Contact your local authority and try to get help for a 'managed move' if attendance (understandably) has been an issue that should go in your favour. I have known students repeat year 12 (a levels) if they have bombed exams but can demonstrate a good attitude to learning. Repeating year 10 sounds like the way to go, also because of GCSEs choices the cohort are all mixed up again so a better chance of making new friends as all starting together( they don't need to know his age and it's a repeat ) hope you are successful and your son doesn't miss out on his education because of bullies

pullingmyhairout1 Sat 03-Sep-16 07:54:46

Thank you Good I applied for his switch now and wrote an appeal letter to re-take yr 10 on the LEA advice. Both schools he can go to are Academy's though so I will have to wait and see. I have been trying to speak to them but admissions are not in until next week for either school.

Goodgriefisitginfizzoclock Sat 03-Sep-16 08:11:23

Fingers crossed for you, keep strong!

Cary2012 Sat 03-Sep-16 08:24:42

Awful situation.

I teach at a High School.

Write to the Chair of Governors, copying in the Head Teacher and Local Authority regarding the bullying if you haven't done so. Also you can as a parent raise your concerns with Ofsted, they will take this seriously, I've known an incident at a school where a parent contacted Ofsted and it triggered an inspection and a new bullying policy being enforced.

Switch schools, definitely. Find out the exam boards for your new schools, and see how they compare to his current board. They all vary and it would be better to get the same board obviously.

When you've found this info and your son has been accepted at new school consider a private tutor to get him up to speed if necessary.

Good luck, I wish you and your son well.

Runningtokeepstill Mon 05-Sep-16 09:52:33

Do whatever is best for your son's mental and physical health. It may be that things have gone too far for him to contemplate going into his existing school under any circumstances and if so then you're totally right to support him in moving on. If the academies won't support him repeating yr 10, and in my area they are very much against this, have a look at the online schools as they are very used to supporting dc who have been bullied. The disadvantage is that you have to pay, also this is classed as home education by LA's.

Check out what local colleges do in terms of GCSE's. In my area this is fairly limited in terms of subject. You can do maths, English and science but other subjects tend to be Btec. But he could go on to do A levels in many subjects he's not done at GCSE provided he can show he had the skills ( often maths and English based).

It's difficult when other family members don't agree about the best way forward, but your ds is now at an age where he has to feel that what will happen is the right choice for him. Otherwise it won't work.

pullingmyhairout1 Mon 05-Sep-16 15:23:26

He is adamant he needs to move and so am I. Just concerned about getting him in one. Just been told by one they are full to capacity. I'm starting to get mega stressed. Why isn't life easy?

Runningtokeepstill Mon 05-Sep-16 18:16:48

You can appeal but it takes time that you may not have. My ds got into an already oversubscribed school in year 10 on appeal. We applied after Xmas and he started at Easter. By then gcse courses were half way through.

Is an online school a possibility? He could move on to college or 6th form afterwards.

Or just concentrate on feeling better this year and do gcse/btec next year at college?

pullingmyhairout1 Mon 05-Sep-16 20:01:57

I'll see what they say. I could cry right now so probably not the best time to discuss it with the school.

pullingmyhairout1 Thu 15-Sep-16 22:36:00

They have offered him a place now thank god.

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