Please don't flame me for this - I am trying to think through all our options and do the best for ds, but I also need to be a bit pragmatic!
Ds has just left year 8 in an academically-selective independent school. His end of year report is pretty bad. He is in the bottom fifth of the year for 'effort' and has had many detentions this year for not handing in homework, being late to class etc. His end of year exams were also fairly dire - clearly he hadn't done enough revision etc.
However, he enjoys school, has loads of friends and - academic achievement notwithstanding - is by all accounts a very popular and well-liked kid by staff and peers. His reports all say that his poor results are down to lack of application and effort rather than inherent lack of ability iyswim. He's not bothered, basically.
He is there on a bursary which, although pretty generous, still means I have to find several hundred pounds a month which is very difficult. I am a single parent on a very moderate income and ds's dad no longer contributes to school fees (he did when ds started there but not any more, long story, different thread!) I feel awful saying this but I am starting to begrudge paying all that money every month when ds is clearly not bothering atm.
Part of me thinks I should bite the bullet and move him. Another part of me thinks that if he's naturally lazy (like I was at school, to be fair!) then moving away from small class sizes/a more competitive environment etc won't help. I also don't want to send him the wrong message - like he's not 'worth' paying out for if we're not getting a 'return' (although in my darker, private moments I'll admit that's how I'm starting to feel!) And on another hand altogether maybe he's just slower to mature than some of the other boys in his year and it's not quite 'clicked' with him yet?
I love my ds to pieces, he is genuinely a lovely boy with lots of potential (imo!) and just want the best for him. He is like I was at the same age, basically, just can't really be arsed.
I wanted him to have a shot at a great education in a great school, but I wonder whether I've got my priorities wrong? Should I take him out and stop worrying, let him get on with it and at least be able to pay for extra-curricular stuff etc? Or, should I just keep him at the school he clearly loves, carry on encouraging/pushing him to make more effort and hope for the best?
Any advice would be really welcome.
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Secondary education
Ds doing poorly at independent school - move to state?
67 replies
SeptemberFear · 22/07/2016 08:55
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