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Dd moving schools, current school wants her to stay until the end of this term

(58 Posts)
lottielou7 Sat 28-May-16 09:40:44

I posted a while back about the problems my dd has been having in her independent school and how I had decided to try to move her. These were issues affecting other people but having an impact on her, emotionally as there are only 20 students in the year. We went to look at one of the local schools which is very difficult to get a place at. All of our secondary schools are oversubscribed but this one is particularly so. She and I were both impressed with it when we had a tour and she was pleased with the art department too, which is important because she's exceptionally talented in that area. They have offered her a place to start after half term.

This has all come as a bit of a shock to her current school and I've been asked to go to a meeting with the head, but this will be after half term now. The head of year has said that moving dd after half term won't give her or her peers time to come to terms with the fact she's leaving.

It is a shame because she loves the teachers at this school (and was crying last night because she will miss them) but not the students so much. I think that speaks volumes though!

I feel it would be best for her to move after half term but I'm second guessing myself now because her current school wants her to stay at least until the end of term. Am I doing the right thing?

Groovee Sat 28-May-16 09:42:28

Do what's right for you and do not be forced into a decision by the current school.

AveEldon Sat 28-May-16 09:43:11

I would move her now
The state school won't hold the place for you - you need to take it up asap

Haggisfish Sat 28-May-16 09:45:09

Ignore current school! Would def be better to move now so dd is familiar with school and other kids. School will be quieter at the moment too, with gcse and yr 13 gone.

Haggisfish Sat 28-May-16 09:46:04

And seriously-no time to come to terms with it!confused is there a financial implication for independent school if you leave earlier?

lottielou7 Sat 28-May-16 09:46:18

Good point Haggis! The new school have said there is no rush but have suggested it would be good for her to move and start to settle in. I agree. This is year 7 by the way.

Dozer Sat 28-May-16 09:46:29

No brainer: move her as you've planned. Current school's arguments are ridiculous.

Sadik Sat 28-May-16 09:46:37

I would have thought moving now would be a really good idea - gives her a chance to settle in and make friends, and she'll be all ready to hit the ground running in September.

Mookbark Sat 28-May-16 09:46:48

I agree with Ave. they new school won't keep her place, so if you defer until September, then there may not be a place for her.
flowers for you and your DD. I hope the move goes well for her.

lottielou7 Sat 28-May-16 09:47:08

We will have to pay the Autumn terms fees in leau of a terms notice which is standard. So they won't lose out, no.

lottielou7 Sat 28-May-16 09:48:39

In lieu in mean lol

ParadiseCity Sat 28-May-16 09:48:54

I'd go ahead and move her. Or course her 'previous' school wants her to stay - they want you to reconsider as its losing them money!

BeautifulMaudOHara Sat 28-May-16 09:49:45

You are doing the right thing, move her now

Jubaloo442 Sat 28-May-16 09:50:08

Move her! Good places don't stick around.

BoGrainger Sat 28-May-16 09:50:42

Yes, what others have said, if this is a state secondary they can't hold a place unconditionally for a half term. Go for it!

lottielou7 Sat 28-May-16 10:01:20

Thank you - I feel better about it now. Yesterday I felt really stressed - they emailed me about 6 times.

ParadiseCity Sat 28-May-16 10:02:26

They (old school) sound ridiculous!

JinRamen Sat 28-May-16 10:03:33

They emailed you six times??

Fwiw I would move her now.

AlwaysNC Sat 28-May-16 10:04:57

Move her after half term, she doesn't need a half term of current school guilt tripping her into staying. Of course they want her to stay so they can convince you all not to move. Doesn't look good on them and word will get around.
If daughter is ready to go then move, and last half term if summer will be the most relaxed to start her in.
If she needs no time to say goodbye then as sure as he'll her teachers don't. Have a party for her friends this half term as a leaving party if t helps

AgeOfEarthquakes Sat 28-May-16 10:05:58

Gosh, yes. Move her now. Your priority must be your DD not the other students in her class. Her current school sounds ridiculous.

A state school won't hold a place forever. There are likely other children on the waiting list and hanging on to a place without attending for half a term would be not be acceptable.

melonribena Sat 28-May-16 10:07:52

I would move her now. Will help her make some new friends before the summer and then when she goes back after the summer, she won't be the new kid!

JassyRadlett Sat 28-May-16 10:07:55

The old school is worried about reputation and gossip. Much easier to explain away a child leaving in a planned way at the end of the year than one leave suddenly at had term.

HSMMaCM Sat 28-May-16 10:12:55

I agree. Move her now. If anyone from the old school wants to keep in touch they can. Don't go for a meeting with the head if you don't want to. Definitely don't take your DD in again, they will only try and make her feel bad about leaving.

AugustaFinkNottle Sat 28-May-16 10:13:37

I suspect they hope they can persuade her to stay, and they're worried that if there are bigger picture issues her going will be the start of the exodus. Any problem the school will have with her peers coming to terms with this is absolutely nothing to do with you. However, is it worth arranging for her to go in once to say goodbye?

wobblywonderwoman Sat 28-May-16 10:15:41

I would move her right away- emailing six times is really telling. they are panicking.

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