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DS having problems with a girl

(6 Posts)
feelingmiffed Fri 22-Apr-16 11:51:34

DS is 12, in his first year at secondary school.

He's had a great start to secondary school, he seems to be doing really well and has made plenty of new friends.

However on and off he's been having problems with a girl at school. The first I heard about it was him telling me a few months ago that she'd been calling him Billy no mates on the bus ( as there wasn't any space near a friend), he brushed that off as it wasn't a biggy. Since then he's commented that she's hard work to be around.

We saw her when we were out one day and she spent a lot of time glaring at DS and his friend.

Last week there was an incident of talking in class, this girl is on DS's table and the whole table were given a number rather than a stamp in their planner ( stamp is a reward, number is there in the event of something being wrong). The girl has since started abit of a war against DS, whispering about him etc. The girl has now been moved off his table.

Yesterday DS came home annoyed and upset, they'd been designing something and the name he'd called his character sounded similar to the name of this girl ( but also made sense to call it that IYSWIM). The girl has now said she's going to report him and that basically he needs to stay out of her way or she'll cause trouble hmm

Subsequently DS didn't go to his homework club yesterday as he knew she'd be there and would also be on the same bus, meaning he's had to use his lunch break to do it today instead.

None of its major stuff I know, but I want to try and nip it in the bud. I've suggested to DS that he tries to avoid the girl ( without making it look nasty), and that maybe he should ask his tutor how best to deal with it?

Any ideas? I'm new to this secondary school lark!!!

noblegiraffe Fri 22-Apr-16 13:22:39

Definitely talk to someone at the school about it, probably tutor in the first instance.

Hopefully it could be nipped in the bud with a sharp word to this girl. A mail can also go out to all his teachers to keep an eye on them, report any issues and separate them if necessary.

ealingwestmum Fri 22-Apr-16 13:36:49

Your poor boy. I agree with noblegiraffe in sending a mail to to the tutor. And give him reassurance that on any subsequent threat from her that she'll report him (for whatever stupid grounds she musters up), for him to politely say, go ahead, we then both get to be heard. Will scare the crap out of her.

Hope it gets sorted quickly.

CodyKing Fri 22-Apr-16 13:47:09

Tell him to comment on her behaviour - not her personally - so "you're being lame (or whatever the word is these days)

He needs to stand up to her to some degree -

Most will back down when challenged

Yes send an email - most schools have a team of people to deal with stuff like this -

starfish4 Fri 22-Apr-16 14:31:33

I'd send an email as well, that way at least the school are aware of his concerns. They can deal with it now or at least keep an eye on how they are around eachother.

CatsNOwls Mon 25-Apr-16 19:33:13

Definitely talk to the teachers involved and if you need to go to the counselor/behavior officer (whichever DS's school has) and talk to them about it. Get DS to record everything (when away from her) and keep his teachers updated with these things.

Although standing up to her is a good idea, it can lead to worse things or may be the reaction she wants from him so she'll try to 'up her game' as it were and cause more trouble. I'd get a better scope of the situation before advising DS to stand up to her, as he will probably do that on his own anyway. A lot of 12 year olds will, so telling him to stand up for himself may be seen by DS as blaming him or thinking that he doesn't already.

Important note: if he's recording everything, that included his reactions. Make sure he knows you're on his side here and you won't judge his reaction, you want him to be as truthful as possible so you can make your case to support staff and teachers.

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