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Too chatty, but needs to chat?

(5 Posts)
NewLife4Me Thu 17-Mar-16 15:58:59

i'm looking for suggestions to get it through to my dd that her teachers say she chats too much. This in their view is holding her back a little bit.

Whilst I can help in the normal classroom environment, as in not shouting out etc, I'm stuck after this. and her teachers seem to be making headway here.

So far I have suggested she keeps her trap shut and listens and then speak if she needs to, but it isn't so easy.

She is in an environment where it is essential to communicate with others and to partake in conversations with teachers and peers. Lots of peer to peer work outside the classroom.

Anybody have any direct strategies I could use to support the school, who are working with her to help.

It isn't a normal school so any general rather than specific advice would be great
Many thanks.

CallMeACynicBut Thu 17-Mar-16 16:14:51

One thing I sometimes do at meetings where I feel in danger of talking too much is to have a target for the minimum number of turns that other people take before I talk again. E.g., in a group of 4, each time I've just spoken, aim not to say anything else until at least 3 other things have been said (it won't necessarily be one thing each by the other people, of course). Maybe that would help? (It has to not be totally rigid, of course - if someone asks you a direct question you have to be allowed to answer!)

In case there's a gender element, it wouldn't hurt to make her aware of the weird and unfair phenomenon that a woman in a group of men is perceived to have dominated the conversation if she talks anything close to her "fair share". If that's her situation, it's conceivable that the teachers' perception is at fault, and in any case, it's important to know that people's perceptions, including hers, are fallible.

NewLife4Me Thu 17-Mar-16 16:20:21

Wow, thank you, that's a great idea.
It is so difficult for her to seem to grasp, I'm sure it will improve with age as she is only 12.
It's a narrow line as there are those who are told they don't communicate and partake enough.
have just thought, this may be dd fault for being too vocal.

I don't think it's a girl thing, although in one group they are all boys except for her and the other group all the girls are much older. Whilst another group she and another boy are the youngest. grin
I have never heard of the gender element and this is extremely useful as she matures
Thank you so much thanks

AtiaoftheJulii Thu 17-Mar-16 18:43:13

Maybe she also just needs to make sure she's (mostly) talking about relevant stuff. It doesn't sound like it's the speaking itself that's the problem - you say that's basically essential - so perhaps she's just waffling about any old crap grin

NewLife4Me Thu 17-Mar-16 19:00:41

I think there could be an amount of waffling about crap going on, but she is very enthusiastic so I think she's on the right subject but not always succinct enough or on the same page as everybody else.
She hasn't been diagnosed with any sn but she does seem to struggle with some aspects of learning, like organisation for a start.
I wondered if there was a bit more to it than this and it was spilling into communication too.
It's essential in the same way as it is for a seminar, masterclass, workshop, type of scenarios.

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