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Parents of DC in Year 11 Support Thread: The Calm Before The Storm

(1000 Posts)
OnTheBirdBranch Mon 08-Feb-16 14:39:03

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needastrongone Mon 08-Feb-16 15:00:30

Thank you for the new thread.

DereK I am so sorry that your DS is having such a hard time. Is the school environment quite a pressurised one, given the selective and independent status? It does seem like he might have got himself into a bit of a cycle of stress, poor love.

DS is as always winging everything. I despair.

derektheladyhamster Mon 08-Feb-16 15:03:45

OK, recap. DS suffering from migraines. He's missing a lot of school due to them, which are either caused by the stress of not doing his work or a convenient excuse.

I was similar as a child, and tbh noone noticed so I carried on. If I'd been strong armed into lessons I'd have done so much better, so already he's got more chance than me.

There are many catch up lessons he could/should go to, so I'm going to hope that the school make him go. I'm sure that if he catches up we can break the cycle.

If it is more psychological than that, I'm not sure what we can do. Time is now running out.

German is one lesson he's avoiding, apparently he'll get a b even if he doesn't go to the lessons. Should we just give up on them or will that just reinforce the idea that they're something to be worried about.

He's about to start some counselling sessions, I'm just worried its too late for the GCSEs

Dreamgirls234 Mon 08-Feb-16 15:07:59

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derektheladyhamster Mon 08-Feb-16 15:12:29

I have been a long to the gp appointment. I'm so glad you don't think he should just get on with it and if he fails it his fault.

Ffs I work in pastoral care in a boarding school myself! So much easier with other people's kids!

ExitPursuedByABear Mon 08-Feb-16 15:13:37

Signing in.

needastrongone Mon 08-Feb-16 15:21:23

derek It's always important I think for us all to remember that exams can be retaken. And some folk find their way in life without any qualifications at all or by following a different route to learning. We are probably all on this thread to ensure our DC get the very best they can out of their education, but there are many paths in life folk can take. flowers

Dreamgirls234 Mon 08-Feb-16 15:24:22

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derektheladyhamster Mon 08-Feb-16 15:33:25

Parenting fail there! He had to go to the 6th form for an interview, and has to go on the moving on day in June! He needs 6a's to stay at his current school, although realistically there might be room for negotiation given his medical history

Dreamgirls234 Mon 08-Feb-16 15:38:04

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needastrongone Mon 08-Feb-16 15:44:05

Nope, no failing at all. Not at all.

Dreamgirls234 Mon 08-Feb-16 16:09:20

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derektheladyhamster Mon 08-Feb-16 16:20:21

Sleep & ibuprofen if she's taken the migraleve

Dreamgirls234 Mon 08-Feb-16 16:44:07

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catslife Mon 08-Feb-16 16:46:04

We have had the effects of storm Imogen here bird so it's hardly calm, but am aware that this half term is probably the last proper break before exams so am making sure dd does have a break.
derek most of us on here have back-up plans in place just in case our dcs don't obtain the expected grades. B grades in subjects where he has lost interest (if that's the issue) aren't really a disaster (and are perfectly acceptable in less selective sixth forms). Very few pupils obtain A*s across the board! The fact the school have realised there is a problem is good, but I wouldn't make too many assumptions about the causes yet.

OnTheBirdBranch Mon 08-Feb-16 17:22:42

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muffinmonster Mon 08-Feb-16 17:53:15

Gosh, this thread has been busy! Birdbranch, thanks for the new thread (and great title!).

OYBBK DS has no idea what degree he wants, or what career. Will definitely get him to check out Quizliet - it looks good.

Catslife, thanks for the info about subject choices. I've passed it on to DS. HIs school now offer only 3 A levels, but Further maths is an exception; apparently it fits in the same timetable block so those taking it can do four.

It does seem really hard to be under pressure to make these decisions now. DS's school will offer taster days in June, and of course some GCSE results may force a rethink! They have even said that if someone is unhappy with their choice in the first half-term of sixth form, they can still change at that point. The later you leave it, though, the harder it becomes for them to offer you different options because they will be planning the timetable based on choices made now. So they are very clear that the message is 'Try to get it right first time'.

To put this in perspective, I realised when my DD went through sixth form that a surprising number of students don't take the straight and narrow route to university. A significant number will repeat Y12, possibly with new subject choices. Others will be unhappy with their A level grades and take a gap year including resits to improve their UCAS score. DD came very close to having to repeat Y12 herself and to be honest I still wonder whether it wouldn't have been the best thing for her.

Exit, congratulations on your DD's offer. It all seems very real once that happens.

Derek, sorry to hear your DS is not well. It definitely sounds like stress. B grades are not terrible at this stage, and as DS's school pointed out, coursework can often bring their grades up.

DS is planning some serious revision over half-term. I will be pining for the ski slopes. sad

Dreamgirls234 Mon 08-Feb-16 17:58:50

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TheDrsDocMartens Mon 08-Feb-16 18:15:24

Can I join?
Dd1 did her mocks last week and they are having a mock results day in a couple of weeks.
She was a mess over yr10 mocks but better this time so hopefully has got past total panic

Dreamgirls234 Mon 08-Feb-16 18:17:08

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Dreamgirls234 Mon 08-Feb-16 18:33:51

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TheDrsDocMartens Mon 08-Feb-16 18:35:23

Science x3
English x2

Put maths, biology , French & German A levels on the6th form application

TheSecondOfHerName Mon 08-Feb-16 18:41:07

Derek how worrying and frustrating for you.
DS1 was ill from the summer of Y8 until the autumn of Y11. He went from being a high-achiever to barely keeping up with the minimum. At the suggestion of the school, he dropped three subjects after the October half-term (including Physics). Reducing the workload has made GCSEs seem more manageable.

derektheladyhamster Mon 08-Feb-16 18:56:04

Sadly its igcses at school so no coursework to fall back on. Hopefully we can get all the people at a meeting tomorrow, I would be fine for him to drop some subjects, but until a few months ago he'd been performing fine, its a shame that he's put in most of the work just to fall at the last hurdle.

Thinking back on it, I would class myself as a school refuser. I hardly went to any classes in 6th form - not that anyone noticed!

Goodness this thread is very supportive - no vipers here!

Thank you all - I'm feeling a little less despondent. Ds, of course, probably won't return my texts this week 😟

Dreamgirls234 Mon 08-Feb-16 18:58:09

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