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Moving DD in year 8

(14 Posts)
kazza71 Thu 28-Jan-16 07:51:35

Hi - We have a place at a new school which for our DD. The school she is at now is failing and in special measures and we aren't happy with it - our DS moved to the new school last July. Our DD isn't happy with our decision but I can not stand the thought of her staying at her school. She just keeps saying 'I'm not going' - she has a start date for this Monday. Any advice please.

Jinglebells99 Thu 28-Jan-16 08:05:39

I've just done the same with my dd, she's year 9 though . My dd didn't want to move either. I said to my dd that she had to give it a try, and if she really hated it, she could move back. The new school worked with her to ease the transition. Buddied her up, allowed her to come home early in the first week and didn't force her to do PE. First week was tough, but week's two and three have been fine. She has settled in and made new friends. Really glad we moved her. The new school has the best results in the area. Also her best friend from the old school is going to move to new school at half term.

kazza71 Thu 28-Jan-16 08:21:27

Thank you - That's reassuring - but I daren't give her the option to move back because she'd make sure she did! A friend of hers is going through an appeal to go to this school so fingers crossed she wins. The new school is great - my ds has settled in and getting good grades - how was it on the first day ?

Jinglebells99 Thu 28-Jan-16 09:08:31

The first week was really tough! She'd always gone to school happily so it was really hard to cope with the tears and anxiety and the feeling sick. Sorry, it was hard! But my dd would come out every day with stories of who she had met and chatted to. At the end of the first week, we found out her friend had been offered a place. Will it help having your son there? My son is in the 6th form at the new school and they sometimes get the train together and meet each other to come home. Another girl from her old school also started last week and she has met up with children who she knew at primary school. Fingers crossed for your dd. My dd was really unhappy at the thought of moving but it has worked out really well.

kazza71 Thu 28-Jan-16 10:09:56

This has really put my mind at rest - we are adamant that she is going and as I said can't stand the thought of her staying at her present school - we're just going have to ride the storm. I think it will help her that our son is there in some ways. Thank you so much.

tumpymummy Thu 28-Jan-16 10:32:29

Why doesn't DD want to move if this new school is so much better? Presumably because of friends at the old one and fear of the unknown? Bribery!!! At the end of the day you are the parent, with her best interests at heart. And Year 8 is a good time to move. I would recognise that she does't want to move but offer her some small present at the end of her first week? New stationery? iTunes voucher, chocolate?! If friends are the main issue make an effort to keep in contact with the old ones. Invite one or two of them round to your house or arrange cinema trip? If you don't move her, you may always regret the missed opportunity especially if this other girl ends up moving too.

lljkk Thu 28-Jan-16 10:42:02

She can move back, agree about give a deadline for deciding like 1 term. If she moves back then she knows she's moving back because she really likes old school better, rather than being afraid to try something different.

Work on the "You don't know what you're missing out" angle, FOMA is good leverage with teens.

kazza71 Thu 28-Jan-16 10:51:37

I asked her what it would take for her to move and she said iPhone 6s!!! I will try and think of some other items - I think we would regret moving here and for me not moving her isn't an option - I'm just wanting to make the transition as smooth as possible - sorry for my ignorance but what is FOMA ?

lljkk Thu 28-Jan-16 14:14:07

Fear of Missing Out... teenage malaise.

Jinglebells99 Fri 29-Jan-16 15:02:23

I think with my dd, she was worried about leaving her friends and worried that she wouldn't make any new ones because friendship groups would already be established. Actually she seems to have more friends at the new school now. I changed schools myself when I was 12 so remember what it was like being the new girl, but I knew that I had made friends. Let me know how your dd gets on. We feel positive that it was the right decision for our dd. Her old school had huge problems with staffing issues and if my dd hadn't taken the place her best friend would gave moved up the waiting list.

kazza71 Thu 04-Feb-16 09:17:06

Just an update on how my DD got on at her first day at a new school - she was up early and ready - was speaking to a few girls she kind of knew the night before on social media - great first day - second day brought a new friend home for tea and is loving it !!! Thank you for all your comments xx

tumpymummy Thu 04-Feb-16 09:31:26

Glad it went well, and I hope you didn't have to fork out for a new iPhone! Sometimes mother does know best!

kazza71 Thu 04-Feb-16 17:59:16

Haven't forked out yet - but it has been mentioned!!

Jinglebells99 Sat 06-Feb-16 18:24:01

Ooh glad to hear the first two days went well smile Hope the rest of the week went ok too.

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