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Feeling fantastic about OUR choice of school

(38 Posts)
voddiekeepsmesane Sun 17-Jan-16 19:46:02

So DS has just informed me after a lovely chat that secondary school is sooo much better than primary. He is in year 7 at a fairly high achieving school in our local area having got in through 11+ tests.

At primary he was constantly teased and ostracised for being the non-sporty ( read not football obsessed) high achiever.

In his new school he feels that he is just one of the "normal" as most are high achieving. This is not a boast it is what it is and he is what he is.

I just needed to say "yippee" in a place other than real life as no one that I know from primary gets it and I don't know the secondary lot enough yet.

DS had a tough time for the last 4 years but at last has found friends and a school that gets him as me and his father have always done. I am glad he didn't conform to the majority and stuck to his individuality. I think it will serve him well as he gets older

bojorojo Sun 17-Jan-16 20:46:15

Pity the child that hasn't got the 11 plus and is in an underperformance school that does not suit them for the next 5 years or so. Well done for having a child that managed to get to your choice of school and for living where there is a grammar school. At least someone has a happy ending. Better times ahead indeed.

voddiekeepsmesane Sun 17-Jan-16 20:56:02

I sense a bit of bitterness bojorojo. Indeed we are lucky but the point of my post is celebrating the fact that some children can be bullied and unhappy for years and having the right school for them really helps

We are always on the back foot as a family as we are on full benefits as dp is blind and I am his carer. We don't have money to tutor or go private so yeah I am bloody thankful for our son that we live in a grammar area.

Lurkedforever1 Sun 17-Jan-16 20:57:08

Personally, I'm happy for you and hope he continues to love it. Every child deserves an education that suits them and to enjoy the social side. It's also great as a parent to know you made the right choice, and any angst or second thoughts were worth it.

However if you wanted somewhere to share your happiness, this probably isn't it. I have no doubt it will attract some negative comments about the 11+, some of whom won't recognise the hypocrisy of the fact they are equally happy because they have brilliant comprehensives, despite the negative counter effect of other people's kids being at shit or unsuitable comprehensives.

Arfarfanarf Sun 17-Jan-16 20:59:42

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

voddiekeepsmesane Sun 17-Jan-16 21:03:19

Wow have been on mumsnet for longer than most ( since 2007) and didn't think posting a positive message about a child finding a school that suits him after years of bullying was not appropriate under this heading. My bad huh

voddiekeepsmesane Sun 17-Jan-16 21:11:05

Thanks Arfarfanarf

RudyMentary Sun 17-Jan-16 21:18:19

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Lucsy Sun 17-Jan-16 21:21:27

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

voddiekeepsmesane Sun 17-Jan-16 21:23:19

Thanks Rudy

Yes I agree about football and also being high achiever sorry didn't mean to infer that both were exclusive. Just said it because it is less ordinary to not be keen on football

Lurkedforever1 Sun 17-Jan-16 21:23:28

I didn't say it was inappropriate, and I genuinely did mean I'm happy for you.

I just meant it might not end well because the anti grammar and the hypocrites won't see it as great. Really wasn't having a go on my own behalf.

MidnightVelvetthe4th Sun 17-Jan-16 21:24:47

Lovely to hear this op, I'm glad he's happy smile My ds is also non sporty and has trouble at primary for being nerdy, we are not in a grammar area and find out in 6 weeks which school he got. Fingers crossed its not the sports academy down the road!

I'm happy for you all and mn is absolutely the right place to be able to yipee about it grin

voddiekeepsmesane Sun 17-Jan-16 21:25:55

Thanks Lucsy yeah the grammar thing was a red herring really is more the happiness that he is in the right school for him now and the bulling ( in the main) has ceased and he is happy for the first time at school since he was 7

fastdaytears Sun 17-Jan-16 21:27:15

I was your son. I hated primary school so much. Had medical reasons for being terrible at sport, and felt like such a weirdo for doing well academically. My grammar school changed my life in more ways than I can say.

I know it's controversial but I'm so pleased for your son. FWIW the other schools I could have gone to with no 11+ are very far from underperforming, it's just that I would have continued to feel like a total misfit. I would have got better grades but been totally miserable. At my grammar school I was normal and that was great.

voddiekeepsmesane Sun 17-Jan-16 21:28:01

Fair enough Lurked sorry if I took it wrong

Good luck Midnight hope you get the school that's best for your child

Lucsy Sun 17-Jan-16 21:28:47

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

RabbitSaysWoof Sun 17-Jan-16 21:29:12

I'm pleased your Son has found his place after a tough time. That's everything I can hope for for mine in the future really, where ever that is, that he will be in the right place for him and to be able to be himself.
I know first from my own school days how important that is.

voddiekeepsmesane Sun 17-Jan-16 21:30:02

Ahh fastday you have put it exactly how I think my ds feels I think he would have been fine academically anywhere but socially this school is a better fit smile

bibbitybobbityyhat Sun 17-Jan-16 21:33:47

How nice that you had a choice of school Op.

fastdaytears Sun 17-Jan-16 21:33:59

Socially was way more important for me. I did well enough academically to do everything I wanted to, but I left with self belief and tons of friends, which was the total opposite of primary school (school refusal, panic attacks, no actually bullying because I gave myself enough of a hard time). I was honestly a bit of a rubbish student but did fine and genuinely loved school. My school friends are still amongst my best friends (and I'm pretty old!).

steppemum Sun 17-Jan-16 21:35:35

OP - I am so pleased for you.

You sound like me last year. Ds is now year 8 and continues thrive.

He has to travel to next town for his grammar school, and NO-ONE here in our town got it. He struggled to fit in at primary, and now he has lots of friends.
He thrives in the academic environment, and loves the fact it is cool to be clever.

I struggled so hard with the choice to take the 11+, to chose the out of town school/travelling etc. Ds himself didn't really get it.

He walked in at the end of his first day with a huge grin on his face and said his school was brilliant and I cried!

Pantone363 Sun 17-Jan-16 21:49:28

I fucking hate this football snobbery. It seems to go hand in hand with snidey comments about boys who aren't academic.

We had a great arf at the rather misguided rugby mum who thought it might be a good idea to comment on 'how the council estate kids are always so good at football' during a match a while back. She hasn't been seen since. I'm not even sure she made it off the pitch.

voddiekeepsmesane Sun 17-Jan-16 21:55:24

Pantone uh? Football snobbery?

steppemum Sun 17-Jan-16 21:59:00

by the way, ds loves football, plays and talks football with the best of them. The boys from his grammar school spend a LOT of time talking about/playing football.

Trouble is, that is only one part of who he is.
He also likes to discuss current affairs and read books beyond his age range.

He couldn't talk about those things with the other boys at primary, because they didn't get it, so he was always being squashed into a box.
that isn't snobbery, that is just how it is.

voddiekeepsmesane Sun 17-Jan-16 22:03:57

The one other boy in ds' primary that has gone to his secondary school is mad about football and is a very good player. Like I said earlier the two are not exclusive.

DS just isn't that into football like steppemum says it's not snobbery it's just how he is.

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