Y7: this evening it all got too much

[TheSecondOfHerName]

DD just fell apart this evening. A combination of overtiredness and homework workload on a day when she got home late anyway due to an after-school club.

Many tears later (hers, not mine yet) she has fallen asleep. In a way, I'm surprised she lasted so long.

[Greenleave]

My children havent got to secondary yet but I feel for you. Our neighbor son is in yr 7 and they said that he is exhausted everyday as clubs, homework, journey, all are a very big jump compare to primary!

[TheSecondOfHerName]

Definitely. Compared to Y6, she spends an extra half an hour each day in school, an extra hour travelling and an extra hour on homework.

If I started a new job which was an extra hour commuting and an extra 1.5h work each day, I'd be exhausted too.

[Greenleave]

New schools, rules, friends etc, all add up. It will be better, try to rest and treat her well over weekends, holidays

[OldBeanbagz]

I have a Y9 DD in tears tonight too.

Again tiredness, a backlog of homework that had to be in tomorrow and a PHSE lesson on coping with the loss of a loved on (just days after the anniversary of her grandad's death).

I need but it's only Tuesday!

[NewLife4Me]

I think y7/8 are the most difficult for girls. They have most to contend with at this age.
I am finding this out myself. for all those with dd struggling too.
They all seem so exhausted. My dd is asleep before 9pm these days.
Even at the weekend she'll go to bed early.
This is the girl who until September could be awake at 3am and again at 6pm
and sleeping from about 11pm.
No way could she do that now and yet she'd been like this from being tiny.

[woodlands01]

Girls - year 9/10 worst. Wait until the hormones and peer pressure kick in. Bloody nightmare. I spent a lot of time with my niece 10 years ago at that age - she was VERY difficult and had lots of issues. Up until year 9 I was counting my blessing that my daughter was going to be different. How naive was I? She is currently year 10 and I have turned into that nagging, lecturing mother.
However .................. my niece is now such a lovely person, it really is just about growing up - a phase to go through and as a parent support and endure.
I look forward to the future

[woodlands01]

p.s. I need wine most evenings

[OldBeanbagz]

Yeah, it's Friday night so much needed for me tonight.

Hope all your DDs (and DSs) are looking forward to a relaxing weekend and catching up on their homework & sleep!

[Morebiscuitsplease]

OldBeanBags I echo your sentiment. Our Y7 has come a long way but it is still a bit up and down. She finds some of the naughty boys she has to work with in groups incredibly frustrating. Teacher seems to have little handle on them too from what she has been saying. All good experience I suppose but ...I find it draining. tonight and occasionally mid week

[PettsWoodParadise]

This is where a middle school system really helps DCs prepare. DD is in Y6 but since Y5 has been moving from classroom to classroom for specialist lessons like science and language which helps make it less daunting at secondary. She also gets 45 mins homework a night plus 1.5 hours at weekend with 'optional' homework to extend if she wants to. I am hoping that by having chosen our local grammar nearby over a better resources grammar in neighbouring borough we should avoid the issue of travel time exacerbating the issue of thugs ramping up in Y7 but know not everyone has that choice.

Can you talk to teachers and find out what needs to be prioritised until they are back on track? Is she enjoying all the clubs, can she drop one without feeling like she is being penalised? I have heard of some schools doing fixed time homework where you do the homework and finish when time is up (or before f complete) and add a note that if there was more time you would have done x,y & z to build up understanding of what could be done but also not to overload children.

[Moominmammacat]

Yep, familiar story. just be kind ... I'm out at the other end now and I am so glad I let them sleep and didn't force work too much (although I did a bit).

[BoboChic]

My DD started at secondary in September. The organisation side of things has worked out well (her Y6 class teacher prepared the DC very assiduously) but sometimes the homework requires more support than DD is used to receiving. I do try to scaffold some of her homework such that she does the thinking and I do the tedious bits (typing, Google searches, planning a presentation) that she is not yet skilled at but that are fundamentally support skills. Maybe an idea to avoid meltdown?

[TeddTess]

i'm doing all this but the more i do for dd the less she does!!

[TheSecondOfHerName]

Today went better. She got home at 5.30 and I fed her straight away as this seems to help.

We went through her homework diary together and prioritised what needed to be done imminently and what could wait. She did an hour of homework with me pottering around in the background and a short music practice, then I helped her to organise and pack for tomorrow (cross-country run, art club, flute lesson etc).

[PettsWoodParadise]

Good to hear .

[gandalf456]

A timely thread....

Has anyone else's child regressed to toddler like tantrums? Even my six year old is more mature at the moment...

[pointythings]

I remember this - DD2 is now in Yr8, but last year for the entire first term she would fall asleep while I was reading to her and DD1. She missed the best part of two Discworld novels.

It got better after Christmas. Workload re homework is much harder in Yr8, but she's coping with it all and is so much more independent.