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Can I be slightly smug about DS? Unable to in RL

(77 Posts)
smugandsmugger Thu 03-Sep-15 15:32:30

We live in a rural, wealthy area. We are the only people in our group of friends that chose our local Comprehensive, everyone else chose the Private route.
Our friends are lovely but I know there was a lot of discussion about our choice. One person even asked me if DH was worried about his job security.

Anyway, DS got A*A*A at A levels and is off to his first choice of Uni. Four of his friends are going to Oxbridge.
For all the middle class angst about schools sometimes State education is the best choice.

howabout Thu 03-Sep-15 15:37:18

Go ahead and be smug and very proud of him. My DD go to the local comp and are doing great, but I love a success story to bolster my convictions that we are doing the right thing in this age of buying advantage.

iwantgin Thu 03-Sep-15 15:40:15

Well done smug . Sounds like your DS deserved his fab

My DS has just gone in to Y13 - so will be taking his A levels next summer. Hoping for some equally good results too.

fuctifino Thu 03-Sep-15 15:45:45

Brilliant, well done your ds. You can indeed be smug.

SheGotAllDaMoves Thu 03-Sep-15 15:47:53

Why can't you tell friends and family in real life?

I send my DC to independent school and am still very pleased to hear about the successes of children who were not as lucky. Why wouldn't I be? It's not a competition.

smugandsmugger Thu 03-Sep-15 15:48:12

Thank you for indulging me. blush

Lonecatwithkitten Thu 03-Sep-15 15:57:38

I am delighted for your DS and clearly it was the best choice for him. Please don't confuse this with being the best choice for everyone.

iPaid Thu 03-Sep-15 16:01:56

SheGotAll - going to a private school does not mean the child is luckier than one who goes to State school.

Toughasoldboots Thu 03-Sep-15 16:01:59

I have tried to write a reply three times because I hate the rudeness that pervades mumsnet sometimes but I have rarely felt so bothered by a post that I can't step away.

I am pleased for you that you have a bright child who has flourished in a local comprehensive.
I too, use the state system for two of my dcs.
However, my third DC has additional needs which meant that a private school was the best fit for her.

I would say that more often than not, the opinion on here is that private school is for thick rich brats who don't want to mix in the real world.

Toughasoldboots Thu 03-Sep-15 16:21:54

Sorry op flowers

LaVolcan Thu 03-Sep-15 16:25:10

Really Toughas? I always got the impression from MN that it was well nigh impossible for a comprehensive educated child to get decent A levels and go to a good university. Even though I know it's not so.

smugandsmugger Thu 03-Sep-15 16:25:59

Tough, it certainly wasn't my intention to be rude. Apologies if you see it that way.

My smugness is due to the pity we've received for not paying for our DC's education.

Bunbaker Thu 03-Sep-15 16:26:03

Tough the private schools round here have stiff entrance exams so they aren't for thick rich kids, just bright rich kids.

Clavinova Thu 03-Sep-15 16:33:10

Well done - alas a Government survey in 2012/13 revealed that two thirds of state schools don't send any pupils off to Oxbridge let alone 4 in one year."Sometimes state education is the best choice" - well yes, if you live in a "rural, wealthy area" such as yours, but the majority of middle class families live in towns and cities surrounded by non-middle class families on free school meals.

SheGotAllDaMoves Thu 03-Sep-15 16:42:15

Pity from who smug? Your 'lovely' group of friends?

Toughasoldboots Thu 03-Sep-15 16:42:47

Yes, I do think that mumsnet is generally pretty anti private schools, but I have apologised (although this didn't seem seen) and no doubt it will turn in to a private/state bunfight, so I will leave.
I wish my dd did well at her state school.

FishWithABicycle Thu 03-Sep-15 16:47:01

The absolute best top performing state school in our area, held up as a beacon for the rest of the area and which pupils travel to for miles around (it's a faith school so church goers can get in while non-church goers have to go elsewhere while the lucky few get in) - gets zero oxbridge entrance in a typical year, and perhaps 10% Russell Group in a good year. that is the best we can hope for if we don't stretch our finances to breaking point to manage private.

SheGotAllDaMoves Thu 03-Sep-15 16:52:47

iPaid children who attend independent school receive advantages both while they are in school and often for a very long time afterwards.

These are not things that can solely be measured in grades.

Children who receive that are bloody lucky.

velourvoyageur Thu 03-Sep-15 17:03:42

yay! that's brilliant, bet you're so proud (and relieved!) grin those grades are seriously impressive
hope he has a great freshers week....try not to miss him too much ;)

velourvoyageur Thu 03-Sep-15 17:06:55

My state sixth form got I think five people into Oxbridge and others into Imperial, LSE, Durham (think Durham might be the hardest to get into with its GCSE requirements), many many RG unis....and that fact doesn't prove anything about state/private. Just that the teachers and students worked hard & engaged with their subjects.
Don't ruin the's a nice one.

senua Thu 03-Sep-15 17:07:52

Congrats to your DS!
I'm not surprised that you are smug. And, I'll bet, relieved.
Hope he enjoys his time at University.

Marmitelover55 Thu 03-Sep-15 18:13:03

Congratulations on his fab results. My two DC are at a great state school and most of our friends have gone down the private route too, so I know that feeling.

Biscuitsneeded Thu 03-Sep-15 20:10:27

Congrats to your DS. I completely see why you're feeling smug. I would (a bit) too! My kids are in state although I teach in private (having taught in state previously). I would acknowledge that the typical grades of a child going through each system are likely to be higher in the private sector, (although of course a very clever child can do well in either system) BUT that doesn't make the private school children 'luckier'. I often think my private school doesn't do a great job of preparing them for university, where they won't have all the pastoral care and nurturing they have been given in order to achieve the grades for university, and I worry for some of them. I'm sure your DS will thrive.

TheSecondOfHerName Thu 03-Sep-15 20:35:26

He has done really well and clearly you made the right choice for him.

errorofjudgement Fri 04-Sep-15 07:10:28

Well done to your DS. I'm another mum who's DS have done well at the local catholic comp, despite my dMum's gloomy prediction that they would fail unless they went to a grammar school
(In fact they both got better A levels than their cousins in 2 super-selective grammars)

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