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School residential trip dilemma

(110 Posts)
redbeard Sat 04-Jul-15 16:53:33

Hi, my DD 12 (asd ) was due to go on a 5 day trip on Mon, however , she has been on and off for a few weeks as to whether or not she wanted to go.

I asked her to give me a final answer on Friday , so I could inform school if she wasn't going to go , as they leave early and would be expecting her.

She was adamant she didn't want to go, and so I phoned school to tell them she would not be going.

However now she is upset and want's to go, I have said that it's too late , she made her decision etc, but my question is , will they have cancelled her place ?

I cannot contact anyone, and they leave early , any suggestions anyone?

LIZS Sat 04-Jul-15 17:06:45

No emergency contact no? She needs to learn that she may be too late and has to accept that.

LynetteScavo Sat 04-Jul-15 17:07:37

I don't think MN can answer your question.

I would be firm with your DD and tell her it's absolutely too late. She's made her decision. What if she changed her mind after being on the trip for one day?

redbeard Sat 04-Jul-15 17:19:20

I know , I agree, I feel bad as I should have seen this coming and just insisted she still go , as I normally would. The asd makes it so impossible for her to make decisions sometimes .

It was the fact that I know she has no proper friends on this trip , and I am not totally sure the people she has been placed with are really her friends that swayed me into thinking it might be for the best if she didn't go anyway.

I just feel I have acted too hastily.

I have no emergency contact no.s , just the school no. and with it being a weekend there is obviously no one there.

TheHappyCamper Sat 04-Jul-15 17:23:35

They may have offered the place to another pupil if there were reserves?

If not, and you weren't going to be offered a refund, she could possibly still go, however I would e cautious as she's changed her mind a lot already. What if she wants to come home early? Could you get her?

LynetteScavo Sat 04-Jul-15 17:29:01

What time does the trip leave?

If you only told them on Friday she didn't want to go, I can't see an issue with her being allowed to go if you turned up on Monday....but she'd need to be disappointed.

I imagine the uncertainty of that would be too much for her though? I think you need to make the decision for her.

I would have either told her she was going, as it was all arranged then informed the school on the Monday if she really didn't want to or tell her now she can't go.

Yesterday you both felt not going was the right decision. You sound as indecisive as each other. grin

LynetteScavo Sat 04-Jul-15 17:29:46

*need to be prepared to be disappointed

redbeard Sat 04-Jul-15 17:34:23

There were still places on the trip, no refund would have been given, I knew and accepted that.

She would have been ok on the trip , I think. The trip leader knows her well and a meeting was held to make sure she could be supported enough to be able to go.

The problem was all the people she thought were going had actually dropped out some time ago.

I think , she has to just accept her decision now , I just feel incredibly sad for her now, these things are hard enough for her, and I feel like I should have known it was just her getting anxious. Thanks all for replying.

ladygracie Sat 04-Jul-15 17:39:50

Could you email someone? Mosy of the staff at my dd's school check emails over the weekend.

redbeard Sat 04-Jul-15 17:43:36

Trip leaves 5 am, I did think of turning up anyway ,was wondering what the possibility of her place being cancelled was.

I am just as bloody indecisive grin

LIZS Sat 04-Jul-15 17:45:36

I would only let her know once you had established it was definitely possible. No point turning up to face having her turned away and making staff feel awkward.

redbeard Sat 04-Jul-15 17:45:43

I do have email addresses , I assumed they were only looked at during school hours. Could give it a try.

LynetteScavo Sat 04-Jul-15 17:47:32

My DCs teachers respond almost immediately to emails, unless they are out of the country IME.

notinminutenow Sat 04-Jul-15 18:06:17

Email? Our teachers look and very often respond at weekends.

Hope it works out and she has a great time.

redbeard Sat 04-Jul-15 18:11:14

I have emailed 2 of the teachers going, I think it's a bit of a long shot and if don't hear back then there isn't much more i can do unfortunately.

Decorhate Sat 04-Jul-15 18:58:26

Knowing a little bit about school trips from the school PoV, I would say it's unlikely the space has gone, unless there was a waiting list. If they are going by coach, it would have been booked with enough seats for all who had paid & similarly the accommodation.

redbeard Sat 04-Jul-15 19:25:04

I know that the space hasn't gone , I was worried that they have cancelled his place , it's in France , so not sure if they have removed his name from all the travelling documents etc.

Still not sure whether to turn up at School on Mon or just put it down as one of those things.

Still not heard from anyone.

InexperiencedDisneyMum Sat 04-Jul-15 20:25:37

Is it your Dd or Ds you have posted both.

I wouldn't let them go with it being so far away if they were unsure about going in the first place. It would be different if it was local.

redbeard Sat 04-Jul-15 20:41:51

Sorry it's Dd. That's why I cancelled the trip for her on Friday, it's just today that she has got upset and now want's to go, she has been worried about it for a few weeks , hence me saying she had to make a decision that day.

I think I pushed her to make a final decision. Anyway it's too late to deo anything now , so unless someone gets back to me she won't be going.

CherylBerylMeryl Sat 04-Jul-15 20:45:47

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

redbeard Sat 04-Jul-15 20:47:19

I have just said she will not be going unless I hear from anyone.

CherylBerylMeryl Sat 04-Jul-15 20:50:23

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

clam Sat 04-Jul-15 20:52:55

Helpful post, cheryl. hmm

clam Sat 04-Jul-15 20:53:37

I'm a teacher and I certainly wouldn't mind receiving an email about this at the weekend.

CherylBerylMeryl Sat 04-Jul-15 20:54:36

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

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