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Really disappointing report

(10 Posts)
RosieLig Thu 12-Feb-15 19:39:30

I'm so mad at my son who is nearly 13 and in his first year of senior school.

His mid term tracking report has come back and it's bad. Poor on handing in of homework, organisation and focus. His behaviour is good.

He's had issues with this for a long time and was queried ADD and also has dyslexia.

His report prior to Christmas was much better but that was with a lot of input from me, keeping on top of him, helping him with hw etc...

He forgets to write down hw, doesn't have the right book and is sloppy. He always has to be reminded to get his books out in lessons which really annoys the teachers (I sense exasperation in the report). He is bright though.

There are study workshops for maths and he conveniently forgets to go despite me reminding him.

I feel so let down, it's a private school and it's costing us a fortune which makes his lack of effort even more galling.

I'm too mad and upset to talk to him at the moment.

Any advice on how to tackle it?

I should add that he's lovely in every other way!

Decorhate Thu 12-Feb-15 19:46:41

Make an appointment to see his form tutor or head of year. Go through the issues with them. They should be able to get the teachers to check he has written down his homework for example. Is there an online homework system available where you & he can check what has been set?

ragged Thu 12-Feb-15 21:43:28

Has he always been scatty about organising his school work, has he been asked to be this organised before?

Are you sure this school is a good fit for him?

Hassled Thu 12-Feb-15 21:50:48

Don't be mad at him - you say his behaviour is good and if he's dyslexic then that goes hand in hand with poor organisational skills. And he's 13 - this is peak "pushing your luck" age (in my experience).

Talk to him about what you can do between you to improve organisation - if he struggles to write down the HW in class, would the school allow something like him voice-recording it on his phone? Or does he just need a prompt from the teacher at the relevant time?

RosieLig Fri 13-Feb-15 12:37:48

Thanks all. I'm not that happy with the school as I'm not sure how much they're helping him. But maybe he needs to take responsibility himself? It's hard to know whether it's the dyslexia or just his lack of work ethic (he's very laid back).

We've emailed his tutor. I also think there's an argument for some input from the additional support department to give some input on organisational strategies.

There's no online info. Re homework or tracking. I'm annoyed as this is the first I've heard about it but it's been going on since they came back at New Year.

What do other schools provide? What can I ask for?

ragged Fri 13-Feb-15 19:22:56

State schools spoon feed them, I perceive. Mine at state school.
DS keeps his books in his bag at all times (heavy, but can't forget any).

DS doesn't do homework so goes to detention instead, over & done with.

DS refuses to go to homework club.

to be honest, I'd expect a lot more hand=holding than you're getting from the private school.

kwerty Fri 13-Feb-15 20:23:21

In a busy class there are so many things to keep on top of that remembering which students need to have their homework diary individually checked is just one more task which is easily forgotten. Books/ worksheets to collect, equipment to check in and store, log off computer, clean board, clear desk into bag, class packed up and ready to go on the bell so that the next teacher can get in to make a prompt start.... Kids just have to be responsible for as much as possible.

DragonRojo Sat 14-Feb-15 11:44:01

mine is in year 7 at private school. He takes pictures on his phone of the instructions for homework, when he feels there is no time to write them in his diary. There is also an online system where he can log in and check specific comments from teachers about any piece of work. For example, if the teacher notices that something has not been handed in, he will send a reminder, ask for an appointment or even issue a detention. DS carries all his books with him every night, but I do remind him every now and then to double check his locker. Occasionally he still forgets something but it is getting better

MillyMollyMama Sat 14-Feb-15 12:01:02

I don't think you do get hand holding in private schools. I also think a lot of private schools will say they can cater for SEND children but in reality, they can only deal with the mildest of issues. The teachers are obviously not in tune with his problems and neither are they used to it. I have found private schools take a narrow "one size fits all" approach. Did they know the likely extent of the problems before he enrolled? What did they say they could do to help him with organisational skills? I would speak to his personal tutor urgently and get a strategy in place. Or, save your money and go elsewhere.

Lottie4 Sat 14-Feb-15 17:31:13

I'd speak to the school and ask them how to support you on this. I think they have a lot to take onboard during the first year, ie new school, new friends, new expectations and sometimes they can't take it all in - I know I was regularly going through homework with my DD to make sure she had done something. I'm not saying he should be punished, but my daughter's comp issue an immediate detention for homework not being handed in with no exceptions - even those that struggle (and I know some that do) don't want this so they do get organized. We had a few calls asking me to take it in, but she soon got the message that I would only do it so often and then she would have to accept the school's consequences. The last time she forgot, she was lucky the teacher gave her until he left the school that evening to hand it in, she ran home and back both ways and never did it again!

The school is there to work with you and your son, so as said, do speak to them. He won't be the first child they've come across in this situation, but I'm sure if they know he has parental support they will come up with ideas to help.

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