Y10 detention - DD in a flap(25 Posts)
DD (y10) came home in a flap today because she was given her first ever detention. Apparently she got in to her form room late and was told she has to serve 1hr detention because she was late in school. DD version of events is that she was in school on time, (which is probably true as her cantine account shows she got a bacon roll for breakfast at 7.56am and she needs to be in form at 8.10am) anyway she told me she tripped on the stairs, ripped her tights and was embarrassed so she went to her locker and got her spare pair from her PE bag and changed in the toilets before limping to form room. She came home and was still spitting feathers (mainly because she was very proud of her clean detention record rather than her swollen and bruised knee and perhaps also worth mentioning she is a touch hormonal at the moment) Told her that the detention is not the end of the world and that life goes on. Was chatting to friends about this earlier tonight and they seem to think the school are harsh bearing in mind that she is not normally late. So are the school being harsh on this occasion?
Really harsh! You would have to be late every day for a week to get a detention at the school I work at, and wen then it would only be a break time one! Now we are too lenient, but there has to be something in the middle of overly lenient and just way overboard!
One hour detention for being late once? Truly harsh.
And I'm an ex teacher.
Depends - would they give a detention to everyone late for registration? If so, then she should just accept it. Some schools have a zero tolerance policy for lateness to try to stamp it out. It really is irrelevant that she was in school on time, it's only being in the form room that counts. BUT if your dd had gone straight in with the ripped tights and told the teacher why she was late, would that have helped? I think an exception could/should have been made, but if the teacher wasn't aware of the circumstances (or doesn't want to set a precedent) then I can see why the detention was given.
Detentions for lateness have a massive impact on punctuality ime. Warnings and second chances do not.
I'm starting to feel bad about telling her that it is one of these things... Perhaps I should have told her to find her form teacher early tomorrow morning and explain the situation. Perhaps she should have gone to the form room and ask to go and change her tights. Thing is she would not have done that even in hindsight as she felt embarrassed. I have no clue about the school's policy in terms of detentions for lateness. I suppose I could email the form tutor and ask but I don't really want to have our card marked as "one of those parents".
Perhaps she could explain tomorrow like you say, and see what her form tutor suggests? I hope it's a whole school policy and your child hasn't been singled out! Has she heard of the policy before?
Are you absolutely certain the detention was for one episode of lateness?
If she came home "spitting feathers" is there any chance at all she reacted badly when she did arrive late and the teacher spoke to her about it?
Could she write a nice apology letter and you could email the tutor to check they received the note/explain the late?
She really should have gone to the tutor room first though. Ripped tights or no!
I don't think she has heard of the policy before, if she has then it has not been discussed at home. Detention is one of these things that has never come up at home tbh.
The trouble with DD is that she does most things she does in a certain way and tries very hard to please people, especially teachers. So when something like this happens her world sort of falls apart. Will see how she feels in the morning and suggest she talks to the form tutor.
Wolfiefan, no I can not be absolutely sure as I'm not in school myself to check. What I can say is that if would be very out of character for her to arrive in form room late.
Forgive me. No offence meant. It's just I have taught students who go home and complain they got a detention for just doing x. In reality x and y and z all added up to result in a detention.
Will see what tomorrow brings. Maybe I will drop the form tutor an email and get to the bottom of what is going on.
Thanks for all your advice. Very much appreciated. :-)
I think detention for one accidental oops is a bit harsh - at DS's school you can be given a straight detention if what you do is awful, but most misdemeanours are a referral. Three referrals = detention. DS has had one this term because they have a new thumbprint reader to register and he wasn't waiting to make sure it had registered properly. Three times = detention. He was furious. He still had to go. Now he's more careful when using it.
That said, no your daughter shouldn't not be given detention because she isn't normally late. If being late once is a detention offence then it needs to be the same for everyone.
Devils advocate here - is the detention really for something else and she doesn't want to tell you? would be possible if she's " really proud of her clean slate" ...
Or pushing the teacher too far on several occasions?
Her world falling apart at the notion of an hours detention is a slight over reaction
from both of you
Not sure why you say I'm over reacting. I'm mearly sealing advice .
Also you do not know my daughter, she is an over sensitive child, perhaps with with a slightly autistic tendency so yes her world was sort of falling apart. Have checked her planner this morning and lateness policy clearly states that persistent lateness will result in sanctions. As such have emailed the school and asked the form tutor to let me know exactly what the detention was for. So if she is fibbing I will find out soon enough.
One hour detention for being late once is way too harsh.
Normally detentions are staggered, for being late 20 mins, for not turning up to that detention 40 mins, for serious behaviour problems 60 mins, for not turning up for that one 3 hours on a Saturday. Or similar.
I'd guess something else was going on as well or she has been late several times.
Sounds very harsh to me. I work at a strict school and it would be a 10 minutes Break time DT for a first offence. Plus if explained it would have been overlooked. Poor girl.
No , sorry.
Had emailed the school (form tutor). Told her DD version of events and said that I had checked her planner and noticed that their late policy states that persistent lateness results in detentions and that I was curious to find out if DD was persistently late in lessons or if there was another reason for the detention. So far I have not heard. Will give it until Monday evening and contact the school again if still not heard by then.
Thank you for asking :-)
DD had first detention Year 11 because didn't have right shoes (left them at her Dad's). I just told her that she surely wouldn't want to go through secondary without having at least ONE detention, to prove she is normal adolescent!
Perhaps try to get her to see that detention policy is for the benefit of everyone, to keep problem children (not her!) in line, and that acceding gracefully in order to help school keep order is the grown-up thing to do; also assure her that teacher won't think less of her once situation is understood?
Late = detention at my son's school, unless you can give a good excuse, very few pupils are ever late as a result. My DS has been excused when the mini bus that takes him to school got a puncture, but not when he was handing in some letters to the finance office for me, which earned him a detention. The school is strict but fair, everyone is treated alike so I don't mind. Not sure that detentions are usually an hour though, I think they are generally 30 mins. I think your DD should just do the detention with good grace and remember to be on time in future.
Finally managed to speak to form tutor. She confirmed school policy that detentions are normally only for persistent lateness. Apparently the form tutor only realised when she logged the lateness on to the computer that it was DDs first offence and because of the backlog in paperwork this only came to light after DD had gone to detention.
So basically DD served a detention which was not in line with school policy. Got an apology.
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