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Cyber bullying by DS2?

(4 Posts)
abc73 Thu 20-Nov-14 09:50:08

This is a little complex - DS2 is in Year 7 at a Grammar School, and has Aspergers.

For the first time in years he seems to be making friends, but he struggles socially, and has very little experience of friendships. He seems to have made friends with a group of other boys though, and since he is also loving the schoolwork, he is the happiest he has been for years at school.

Checking the text messages on his phone this morning, I found some from a friend (x) asking him to stop texting and accusing him of cyber bullying. Annoyingly his phone doesn't seem to have a record of the texts DS2 sent. When questioned, DS2 said that he had decided to delete x from his phone, since he was fed up with x being a sore loser in PE and other lessons and then carrying it on all day. He decided to text x to tell him this! Hence the conversation. DS2 says that most of it consisted of them both telling each other to stop texting.

I have a feeling x may also be on the spectrum (I have met him once , he also displays a few Aspie traits), and that the situation may be being compounded by two boys who struggle with social situations failing to understand each other.

I have spoken to DS2 and talked about cyber bullying (again), he assures me that he only sent requests to x to stop texting him. He is normally extremely honest, being a compulsive rule follower (although he doesn't always understand the finer nuances). So I really don't know what to make of it.

Any advice on how to handle this going forward? Obviously I have spoken to him, and talked about how texts can spoil friendships.

Notinaminutenow Thu 20-Nov-14 12:22:29

Sounds like you've handled the situation perfectly.

Early year 7 can be a very difficult time especially with friendships. I would accept this as a falling out between two boys who may have quickly fallen into a friendship.

Nothing you've said indicates that there is any more to this.

abc73 Thu 20-Nov-14 13:20:14

Thanks for the reassurance, DS2 is such a complicated character, easily reduced to tears of despair if he thinks he has misbehaved. And the friendship/ social issues are so important for him.

Notinaminutenow Thu 20-Nov-14 17:24:49

I hear you - I have a year 7 DS too who shares a lot of these insecurities.

Glad that your DS has made friends and is enjoying school.

From my professional experience be prepared for changes in friendships during y7. Things do settle down though.

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