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Friend's daughter finding it difficult to know what to do next

(16 Posts)
paulkal Thu 06-Nov-14 07:29:46

A friend's daughter did quite well in her A Levels (Maths, IT and Physics) but has decided not to go to uni. She has been advised by my friend to play to her strengths and use the experience she has had in holiday jobs to look for work but she seems reluctant to do this, seemingly because of confidence issues. Could anyone offer some advice here?

MillyMollyMama Thu 06-Nov-14 11:38:21

Try a course at the local college? Presumably she needs to do something? Very late in the year to still be doing nothing. See if any courses start in January. Pay for better careers advice to talk through all the options. There are far more than University/Work.

happygardening Thu 06-Nov-14 11:54:14

What about a gap year doing anything unrelated to education or even a future career working in a shop, a nursery anything. I think many kids just don't know what to do, they seem very worried they're going to make the wrong decision and thus are a bit like rabbits in the headlights. Time out without any immediate pressure may help her decide what she really wants to do next.

eatyourveg Thu 06-Nov-14 15:30:21

Civil service fast track apprenticeship scheme? Lots of variety and after 2 years you can apply for the graduate jobs. Would give her time to think about what she wants to do.

Otherwise what about going back to school as a learning mentor? ds1 did this during his gap year and worked with English Lit and Music GCSE students. He loved it and it gave him time to work out what he wanted to do. Some schools pay, some schools don't seeing it more as work experience towards a teaching career. Your dd may have to look take on a p/t job to compensate

oddsocksmostly Thu 06-Nov-14 20:57:45

If she has confidence issues, then it will be most useful to build this up, so it is probably a good idea to defer Uni. Your friend is quite right, it is important to find something for her DD to succeed at.

headlesslambrini Thu 06-Nov-14 21:01:06 look for higher level apprenticeships, might be something on there

Mutteroo Fri 07-Nov-14 03:57:23

Been there, written the book & now wearing the T-shirt!

We have a volunteer website which lists local jobs which are available for 18-25 year olds & DS would be volunteering had he not landed a paid job last month. The problem your friend will have is the longer her DD is unemployed, the more her confidence will diminish. My DD started off with a minimum wage job, terrible hours & hard work, but this led her to get better paid work because of it. Dealing with people certainly helped her to feel more secure in her abilities!

DS was struggling to find work this summer & one reason was because his job criteria was too narrow. He had no idea of what he wanted to do & in the end I had to give him a good talking to. Within two days he had three interviews lined up. He signed onto a couple of online agencies (Reeds is a good one) & also had applied to many jobs on the Apprenticeships website already. He had only recieved two acknowledgements from companies up until last month & that can be disheartening for anyone. He's now doing a job he never thought would suit him (he loves it) & gained it over 10 other candidates who were all graduates.

The one thing I would check is that your friend's DD isn't clinically depressed or suffering with an anxiety disorder? This will need to be addressed first, however if it is more about her confidence then lots of encouragement with the right amount of 'kicking up the arse' is called for. Your friend & her daughter are not alone. There are plenty who are in the same position or who have been through it & we'll all have our different take on how to handle it. The above is what worked for our family.

paulkal Fri 07-Nov-14 08:58:02

Thank you for your advice. I will pass it on.

paulkal Fri 07-Nov-14 08:59:15

Your suggestion to have time out seems like a good one. I will pass it on.

paulkal Fri 07-Nov-14 09:01:36

I am interested in your suggestion of going back to school as a learning mentor. What is that exactly and how can it be set up?

paulkal Fri 07-Nov-14 09:02:40

Thanks for your advice. I will pass it on.

paulkal Fri 07-Nov-14 09:05:16

Your suggestion of checking out a volunteer website is a good one. I will pass it on.

velourvoyageur Sat 08-Nov-14 07:25:02

WWOOFing is great.

Otherwise could she try to apply for internships abroad?

paulkal Mon 10-Nov-14 08:13:12

I am not so sure internships abroad would be suitable. I will pass on your suggestion to her mother.

Betsy003 Mon 10-Nov-14 19:17:39

Psychometric testing on line to work out what would suit her

paulkal Wed 12-Nov-14 07:09:27

Thanks. I'll pass your suggestion on.

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