Report comment not sounding like my child at all.

[Frikadellen]

DS (my 3rd) has returned home with his report card today.

Most of the year their form tutor has been on extended sickleave and result is that the form comment is written by the head of year (who has the class for French only)

The comment sounds nothing like my son for 3/4ds of it. it speaks of a pensive young man who has struggled with his homework yet through out each individual report there is no comment on struggling with homework. All says completed to good standard. High standard (one says initial problems but now always handed in on time.

My child is not generally pensive in nature and I find that quite a odd manner to describe him. He can be quiet yes but more to do with him taking things in and he most certainly is very much a 12 year old boy so loud and over the top comes naturally

The lowerst % he has is 45 (in Drama) most others are in the higher set (apart from one further in the 40s) & year 9 targets are of high levels.

I have phoned the school mentioning ds was bored in class and asked for helps in how to deal with him not engaging well as homework was to easy for him. (he was well helped in his primary and some of the tests they have had are tests he has done in primary) I was assured they would help him with this and math & science teachers said they would give him some extension work to ensure he was not bored. Both subjects mentions high quality homework. How doesthis translates to a struggling boy?


I am in two minds what to do.
One part of me thinks leave it it is a teacher who clearly knows little of him and just sees the student he has himself and not taken the time to see what others have said.

Another says write back and querry how this is with the other comments.

Last bit made me smile as it mentions ds' love for rugby that is 100% him so I am actually left puzzled.

[Frikadellen]

I phoned the school back in February I should have mentioned

[BalloonSlayer]

"He can be quiet yes but more to do with him taking things in "

Isn't that was pensive means? Quiet and thoughtful.

[Frikadellen]

pensive is usually sadness not just quiet.. dictionary definition is

pen·sive [pen-siv]
adjective
1.
dreamily or wistfully thoughtful: a pensive mood.
2.
expressing or revealing thoughtfulness, usually marked by some sadness: a pensive adagio.
Origin:


He is NOT a dreamer never has been. Nor would I call him a sadness type personality or wishfull.
When I say can be quiet I mean " can be" it is not a regular thing. & as many subjects states he is active in class discussions I suspect teachers sees the child I know at home too.

[stinkypants]

The teacher probably had hundreds to write and didn't stop to look up pensive to check it was an exact description. I wouldn't worry about it.

[Frikadellen]

Good thing that teacher is not teaching English then

[BalloonSlayer]

Well penser is French for "to think" so if she is a French teacher she may well have gone with that definition rather than the sad one.

But you know, children often do behave differently in class to how they do at home. A friend of mine was laughing at her DS being called a quiet boy. But when she's not around, he is REALLY quiet! He doesn't say boo to a goose. She just never gets to see it.

TBH as long as she is not saying anything bad about him I don't see what you are worrying about.

[Frikadellen]

It is not so much I am worried about DS.. I have from reports he has had over the year (we get them end of every half term) known he is achieving well. I think it is more I have been very concerned they have not had a form tutor all year and the school admitted back in March they had been unable to resolve this.

Reading the comment have then made me feel that this really is a issue as no teacher out there who actually have got to know these boys (he is in a boys school)

I do feel that if you phrase things you need to understand what they mean. (I say that as someone who is not a English native speaker) However I acknowledge there has been 30 for this head of year to write and it would have been about boys he has had for 2 hours a week for a year.

I think I am concerned the most about him mentioning ds struggling and yet when you look at individual comments there is not one where it says this. & I guess a part of me was thinking that this might not be his report.

[BalloonSlayer]

Well I'd suggest you ring the HOY and act all shocked and alarmed and say you had no idea that he struggled with his homework and which subjects in particular? This is the first you had heard of it, would have been right on it had you known, no one else has said anything, etc etc.

If she doesn't know you could say "are you sure you weren't thinking of someone else? As I wouldn't call him pensive at all." and see what happens.

I have to say though that I maintain that pensive predominantly means thoughtful and quiet, and this does fit with your description of "He can be quiet yes but more to do with him taking things in." It also fits in with him being bored, bored children can go off into their own little world. I think you should tread carefully with this one because if you start arguing the toss with the head of year about the precise term she used to COMPLIMENT your child you will be labelled as One Of Those Mothers. Also she is Head of Year and children tend to be very very quiet and well-behaved when head of year is around.

[HibiscusIsland]

A lot of people use pensive to just mean thoughtful, regardless of what it says in the dictionary. Sometimes a dictionary definition doesn't quite match how a word is commonly used.

[Frikadellen]

HOY is a he and I don't feel it is a compliment when my child is described as pensive. However it may simply be pensive now is used like ironic to mean something it does not.

Doesn't change that no individual report actually mentions him struggling.

I was mostly posting this to gauge if I should contact school or if I should let it be Not really to argue over a dictionary definition of a word. I agree it is possible HOY is using it to mean thoughtful.

I am very much hoping that next year they manage to get the form a form tutor I think it is important for that to happen

[BalloonSlayer]

You're the one who posted the dictionary definition, which says the same as I did yet you seem to think it doesn't

Well I have given my advice on how you could approach the HOY. I think it would be a good way of approaching it. Or are you disregarding it because I put "she" instead if "he"?

[bigTillyMint]

I would be concerned that they had not had a form tutor all year - who has been covering this?

The HoY has probably not used pensive quite correctly and just means thoughtful, although it is possible that your DS seems sad in class. My DS (though usually way far from quiet) looks sad/worried/whatever when he has his serious face on. Could this be true for your DS too?

I would contact them to check that they will have a proper form tutor next year. Even at my DC's school which quite often appears disorganised, a tutor leaving at short notice was replaced with a very good one.

[Frikadellen]

It has been covered by a string of supply teachers or other form tutors from other years and no I have not been happy nor have plenty other parents.

I think this is why I am concerned about this as to me it really hit home how much they have lost out with not having a form tutor.

The school doesn't generally give the impression of being disorganised and I have been impressed about their organisation right up until this month where I have had a few issues.

[HibiscusIsland]

People were posting about how the word pensive is used to help you decide whether to contact the school, not to argue with you.

[IvyBeagle]

Three things to contact the school about, in no order of importance:

1. Is my son sad and 'pensive' in class, is he bored, is there an issue here that we need to discuss?
   
2. How will you address the lack of continuity this year with supply teachers, how will you ensure this doesn't happen to this class again, what will you put in place to help the children who have lacked continuity for a year (?)?
   
3. Why is this the first time I have been told about his homework? This is something I could have worked with you to improve over the last term. Which pieces of homework are missing and which were late? Is it all subjects or only a few? Do you think the cause could be linked to item (1)?
   
   But then, its hot today and I am in a stroppy mood! :) More rationally, the problem is that the report is written by someone who doesn't really know him and what he needs is a new form tutor asap.

[lecherrs]

That's interesting because when I looked up a definition of pensive, my dictionary said:

"engaged in, involving, or reflecting deep or serious thought."

Nothing sad about that. In fact, isn't that more or less how you described him?

On another note, do be aware that children can be different in class to outside of school. It's funny how I've sometimes said things at parents' evening and parents have queried it, but they're definitely like that in class.

This summer, I've had it the opposite way. My DDs class teacher described her in a way that I certainly wouldn't describe her. In fact that's the last word if use to describe her, so dismissed the report on the teacher not knowing DD. Then I had two other (non school) reports that described her exactly as the teacher said. So I've now got three independent reports who describe my daughter in a way I totally do not recognise. But I'm told she's different in school!