Good school or friends?

[Imarriedaknob]

My daughter is due to go to high school in September. We got allocated our 1st choice and there are many of her friends going to the same school which is within 15 minutes walking distance. The problem is the school which has always had a great reputation and was rated as good by ofsted has just had a new report published and it is now in special measures and classed as inadequate.

I was horrified by this and have had a meeting with the headteacher who said all the right things about knowing where they are going wrong improvements in place, not a true reflection of the school etc. I was also offered another school by the council which I had not even previously considered as it is approx 30 minutes by bus. This is where the problem is as we went yesterday to check it out and I love it and really think she should go there.


The old school has recently had an influx of kids from a really rough school which has closed and many parents of current puplis blame this for the decline. The new school has none of this and the kids were great when we visited The exam results are also much better and I think she will do well there as she is very bright.

However she is refusing to go as she says she wil miss her friends and lots of people are predicting that the original school with be back upto standard very soon now Ofsted are involved. One of her best friends will come to the new school with her if she goes so she will not be on her own. Ive told her all the usual about making new friends but she is very upset. I really want her to be happy about this but what shall I do, allow her to go to the local school and hope it improves or tell her she has no choice and goes to the new school. I need to act quickly as there are only 6 places available at this stage with numerous appeals in the process at other schools. Help.

[ElephantsNeverForgive]

I'd stick with the nearest school. My DDs have no choice, but a long bus ride and they hate it.

Also their school has gone from 'Good with outstanding features' to 'satisfactory' to SM and back to 'Good' in DD1's five years there.

This has made no obvious difference to the education the DCs have received, except ensuring DD1 had lots of revision classes for her GCSEs.

It has made very substantial changes to governance, a new HT and most importantly (IMO) to middle management.

We now have a management structure that should provide consistently good teaching to all students across all subjects and all abilities.

SM is a painful process and I thought the judgement harsh, but I know enough now to think it was worth it. Hopefully your local school will come out stronger too.

Although, I agree it's a huge leap of faith to make as a parent.

[redskyatnight]

I'd stick with the nearest school too. DD will do better if she is happier! It also sounds like your only reason for her not going there is the OFSTED report - so you would have still sent her there if Ofsted hadn't inspected till September?

[Dancergirl]

I disagree to some extent. Dc will always want to go where their friends go but a year or two down the line friendships change hugely and they may not even still be that friendly with primary friends.

Dc go to school to learn and be educated hopefully to a high standard. Of course good friendships are important but would come secondary to this.

As a parent and adult, you will always be able to see the bigger picture. And trust your instincts. If you feel the other school is better for her then go with that.

I've heard of dc regretting their choice of school in later years and wished their parents had made a better choice for them.

[ContentedSidewinder]

I think it depends on the attitude of your daughter. Is she likely to dig her heels in and not put any effort into school if you send her to the one further away?

My friend's daughter should have sat an entrance exam for an amazing, non-fee paying grammar school. But the daughter refused to even engage on the open day, folded her arms and made it very clear she didn't want to attend that school.

She wants to be where her friends are. Her Mum thinks she will regret it in less than 2 years. The joke is her brother is already at secondary and although he had very firm friends from primary he has made new ones. The girl sees that and still refused.

My own son is off to a school that only 1 other child is going to but he has known this for years. I think the last minute-ness of your situation has pulled the rug out from under your daughter.

I think the thing to think about would be how would you feel in a years time if the local school was back to what it was when you chose it?

My secondary school was 4 miles away and I had to catch 2 buses to get there. I got a free bus pass. How much will it cost you to send your child to the other school?

[MillyMollyMama]

I think it is wrong for a school to blame the requires improvement tag on children who have come from another school. This is unfair on those children who deserve an education every bit as good as the next child. The school obviously didn't want these children and presumably didn't pay enough attention to their educational needs and promptly "failed" the Ofsted inspection. It is a shame they have used this as an excuse because, in my view, it tends to show they were coasting with only easy to educate pupils. If your DD is one of these who could do well there, then why go 30 minutes on a bus?

However, if you do believe the school will struggle to improve, and these more challenging children are not going away, then can you be sure it will not take a long time for improvement to be made? Does your DD understand about this sort of issue? This is difficult and I would look far more deeply into why the school "failed", and then what both schools score for value added, the destinations of the leavers and how well they educate the high and medium achievers. All of this is available on the Government's schools website. Exam results are not necessarily the best way to judge a school but my instinct would be to go to the one you think is the best school and explain to your DD why it is best for her. My DD went off to school at 11 not knowing a soul.

[rabbitstew]

I disagree with Dancergirl to some extent... Parents don't always see the bigger picture.