DS and tough times in year 7 :(

[newsandreviews]

DS started grammar school in Sept. He is just so lazy, doesn't write down what needs to do for homework, then will do it just before the lesson to avoid detention. Doesn't bother revising for tests etc etc. In primary he obviously managed to get away with it as was one of the brightest in class. However, now he is in grammar he is getting crappy marks but he just doesn't care. Makes absolutely no effort whatsoever. I have tried taking away xbox etc but nothing seems to work. Really worried about what future holds and just want to give him massive kick up the backside! Any advice?

[LadyMuck]

What is the school doing about it? Have you had parents evening yet?

[Ferguson]

That's very sad, as he managed to get into Grammar. Our DS went to Grammar, nearly twenty years ago, and thrived; got good GCSEs, good 'A' levels, then later a good degree.

Is he not happy there? Did his friends not get into Grammar? Does he like any of the activities - sport, arts, music, other clubs etc? Does he think it's 'snobby', or is the work just too difficult for him, and would he be happier in a comprehensive?

Just nagging or punishments won't help, but you need to try get to the bottom of what his worries or concerns are.

[ThreeBeeOneGee]

Going from being the top of the class without trying, to being surrounded by other able children and having to put some effort in, is a bit of an adjustment for many children.

If everything has come easily to him, he may not even know how to really apply himself to learning something challenging.

Certainly, not many children in Y7 have any idea how to revise for a topic test. Although they have done SATs, the skills needed are different.

DS1 is now (middle of Y9) starting to get the hang of revising.

[Minime85]

speak to his form tutor and/or head of year. maybe a motivation report or some conversations together with them might help.

[looplab]

Hmmm, well I know the syndrome. I find I have to constantly campaign about the need to get organised and the difficult consequences if they don't. Like they will take on a mass of debt to get to on a Uni course they are less than thrilled about because they got into sloppy ways. But the peer pressure to do sweet FA is immense. It has soured things a little at home to be honest.

I devised a system of controlling the computer, skype etc because if you add up the hours on these distractions it is no wonder when the homework goes undone.

Year 7 is a a shock to the system generally, I once had it described to me by one pupil as "decision time; either be sensible or not sensible". Hang on in there.

[newsandreviews]

Sorry, not on here that often and just seen your replies. Thank you. He has friends at school and likes school apart from lessons (don't they all!). Unfortunately he is seen as quite funny so likes to entertain people in class which obviously doesn't go down well. The head of year said they often see children acting out when they are struggling but apparently he is nowhere near the bottom in terms of CATs, 11 plus results and first term assessments. Still his class work and tests this term were very poor

He definitely knows that he is one of a clever bunch and won't be top anymore. He sometimes say wow x is sooo clever!

He is undergoing some assessments at the mo. Add to this that teenage hormones seem to have just kicked in eeeeeeeeeeek!

[foxdongle]

hi sounds familiar
my ds in year 7 was lazy, couldn't care less, clowning around anything but doing what he should be. We were v frustrated with him took xbox etc away just like you. he carried on.
I spoke to a teacher friend and she said at least it's year 7 that he's messing it up in not year 9+. At the time I felt little consulation ,

however by the middle of year 8 we started to see a change, he stopped messing started working harder and had gone from from requires improvement (in all lessons!) to mainly goods.

then this year, year 9 even better he got an award and some outstandings. Yay!
He does have the odd wobble and does drive us mad as the teachers say "he has the ability when he keeps focused".

Also he now has a paper round and has joined the cadets- both of which have helped him loads.
dd is in year7 now and we are going through similar with her and this time we keep thinking - we know this and know how to deal with it. her cousin is also yr7and is the same. my sister calls it year7itis!

just keep supporting him/sanctioning him if necessary and he will get there.

[newsandreviews]

Thats helpful fox thanks

[Scholes34]

If there's a parents evening soon, you should take him along with you, so the teacher can talk to you both.