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I am in a quandary of whether I should let DD have a interview for a 6th form place at a Girls Grammar.

(38 Posts)
morry1000 Mon 17-Feb-14 09:46:05

I have another thread on the teenagers section about DD explaining her situation and needs.

DD has just come in and showed me a letter from a Grammar school Inviting her for an interview ( Despite her being 17) and out of year.
Unbeknown to me and her Senco, she had sent off two applications to Grammar schools in the next county attached with a letter explaining her circumstances and how she has not had the appropriate education and has had issues at her Comprehensive. In the letter she explains how she has gone from E grades to expected A* grades because of her focus and the help of her Senco. I had no idea about these applications and because of my DDs issues , I am worried that she will get knocked back due to her age and previous behaviour at school . She has though explained both of these issues in the letter.

Whatever the outcome , I am very proud of her writing this letter and showing determination and her own initiative in applying.

OddBoots Mon 17-Feb-14 09:48:46

Oh do let her go, if she goes but doesn't get a place she will come to accept that but if she doesn't get a place because you didn't let her go that will stay with her forever. She has shown huge initiative in doing this and whatever the result you can be very positive about that if you support her.

Lottiedoubtie Mon 17-Feb-14 09:49:08

Of course you must let her go to the interview! If they were definitely going to knock her back they wouldn't bother interviewing.

They may still of course, but that's a much better learning experience than wing wrapped in cotton wool.

tiggytape Mon 17-Feb-14 09:50:24

I haven't seen your other threads but she must feel strongly about it to have gone to such efforts.
At 17, I am not sure it is a case of "letting" her go to the interview but you can certainly talk it through with her and try to anticiapte any problems or any sense of knock back she may feel if it doesn't work out.
Whatever happens, this will at least show her that persistance can pay off and lead to extra chances whether or not they eventually come to anything.

morry1000 Mon 17-Feb-14 14:14:12

Thank You . I have decided to "let Her Go" with my blessing, her senco Is going to come round and give her tips in what to say at the interview.

The interview is next Wednesday and the school is 20 miles away so I will have to take her there. I will need to get permission from her current school who I don't think will take kindly to it. DDs previous school finally after 4 and half years last March stated to help her in the correct way, and will feel with their investment in time and money , that we owe them some loyalty with DD . The truth is we do not owe them any loyalty because for 4 and half years they allowed her to do bugger all and misbehave , DD entered the school with level 3s despite having an IQ of 138 so the primary school was "Crap" as well.

I have told her that even if she does not get a place at the school . She has come in just one year from looking at a Level 1 NVQ , to looking to do A levels in English/Chemistry History and a undecided one , at a selective Grammar School and that is Brilliant...

ThreeBeeOneGee Mon 17-Feb-14 14:22:02

she had sent off two applications to Grammar schools in the next county attached with a letter explaining her circumstances

Well done to her, for taking the initiative and doing this. I think that's quite admirable in a 17 year old and shows maturity and resourcefulness.

5madthings Mon 17-Feb-14 14:24:22

well done to your dd! yes let her go and good luck to her! smile

tess73 Mon 17-Feb-14 16:59:21

Why do you need permission from the other school? I would try not to say anything until she has a definite place, it might make life hard for her if she doesn't get in. Do you have to tell them?
Good on her by the way.

morry1000 Mon 17-Feb-14 17:11:29

I know technically she is liable for herself, I just don't want the school using that line if it suits them to. I would prefer to pretend that she has to be legally in school I.E Yr11 at 16 years of age...

morry1000 Mon 17-Feb-14 17:13:32

Tess . I meant to say I should ring in and say she is sick ,even though her Senco knows she is not and is attending an interview..

morry1000 Mon 17-Feb-14 17:19:11

Tess I have just seen my Mistake previous School should have said Current sorry.....

morry1000 Tue 18-Feb-14 10:55:35

I have just looked on the "Grammar Schools" policy for students with additional difficulties. It gives me hope that DD might be accepted , I have looked at other schools policies and they are not as "Inclusive" as the Grammar Schools policy is. I get the feeling the school might take a positive view towards DDs age and except her behaviour was because of Immaturity and the learning environment . I have also spoken to someone who knows the school very well , they have said it is brilliant at pastoral care and would be a brilliant fit for DD.

DD told me she only just got her application in on time just before Christmas and that she has been waiting for a letter back from the school for ages. The fact she has only just got the letter, could it mean that they have looked at her difficulties and are considering offering her a place .

In DDs letter she states that because of her age ,she would accept high standards of attainment required from her . the school generally does not let students in to Yr 13 with less than C grades in AS levels . DD has stated she would except a minimum standard of B grades.

I don't know what to say about DD , how can she write a fantastic and descriptive letter like this and for four and half years work at E grade or below Gcse standard.

I think with DD it all comes down to " Wanting to do it" and actually trying, instead of finding ways not to do work.

mumslife Tue 18-Feb-14 12:49:28

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

IloveJudgeJudy Tue 18-Feb-14 15:10:33

Your DD's present school should not cause problems for your DD taking time out for an interview for another 6th form. Your DD is allowed to apply and needs time for the interview.

My DD has gone from a comp to a boys' grammar 6th form. She has fitted in very well and the school have been very supportive. She has had some issues, but they could not have done more to help her.

Good luck to your DD. I think you hear sometime in March, don't you? (And also your DD has to get the GCSE results she needs.)

morry1000 Tue 18-Feb-14 15:31:24

Mumslife/ Judy. Thank You...

I have just got of the phone with the elder DD ( 3rd Year Ancient History)
to tell her about DD2 . DD 1 said it was her idea to apply and came up with the idea when DD 2 stayed with her in November. They did not tell me because they wanted it to be a nice surprise and in case nothing came of it. DD 1 was the first person she told yesterday with a phone call 20 minutes before telling me.

DD 1 has told her she is capable of anything if she tries , and would constantly fall out with her when she was not trying at school.

DD 2 with the help of DD 1 wrote an outline and then sent a Email to No 1. who then told her it was very good and only needed slight changes to be a very good application. No 1. told No 2. that the letter was as good as she could have written.

Well done to No 1......

WorkingItOutAsIGo Tue 18-Feb-14 17:19:10

Anyone else finding reading this a bit difficult because the screen has gone all blurry? Well done to both your DDs and good luck!

mumslife Tue 18-Feb-14 21:14:17

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

DIddled Tue 18-Feb-14 21:20:36

What lovely supportive sisters! I am filling up myself here. Your daughter (dd2) sounds like an inspiration ( as do all you girls), keeping everything crossed and saying a little prayer that whatever she wants , she gets x

mumslife Tue 18-Feb-14 21:25:52

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

morry1000 Mon 24-Feb-14 10:57:50

Just got of the phone from current school asking for permission for absence on Wednesday ( Interview is 1 Pm) . The school have given permission but have been difficult , insisting she has to come in the morning until 11.30 first 2 lessons .

The Interview is at a school 30 miles the other way so will be a challenge getting DD in right frame of mind for interview.

Annoyed at little support from school . DDs year head who I informed made a comment suggesting we owed the school loyalty ( "We have pushed the boat out for DD and made special arrangements for her and surprised that you see X as a more suitable place of education")

DalmationDots Tue 25-Feb-14 00:10:55

Wow, what a determined DD you have! You should be very proud for her taking the initative even if it was her sister's suggestion initially.

Don't worry about the current school - they are at fault for not wanting the best for your DD WHATEVER school that it. It is their job to provide for pupils while in their care, you do not 'owe' them anything and would not be disloyal to move your DD if that is what is best for her.

I think that it is one of those situations where whatever is best will become obvious and the school will in some ways decide for you. If grammar school is right for her, they will see that and take her. They are obviously impressed by her initative to write to them explaining her circumstances (which also show a lot of determination and that she is a motivated pupil now). They may see her, love her and feel they can cater for all her needs. Or they may see her and decide that the school is not right for her and she would be better staying in a continuous environment where the support is in place. Usually these schools are looking whether it is 'right' and 'in the best interest of the child' to accept in a good natured manner.
Good luck

gardenfeature Tue 25-Feb-14 06:18:25

You might be interested in this book:

It's about misdiagnosis and dual diagnosis of gifted children. Perhaps the behaviour was somehow connected to being so bright? Just a thought. My attention was drawn to the book by the NAGC because school thought DS had Aspergers which seems to be quite a common misconception. The book also has chapters on behaviour and ADHD etc. You might find it interesting.

morry1000 Tue 25-Feb-14 14:47:11

Thank You Gardenfeature. The link was very interesting. I can certainly see similarities between the 9 yr old boy ( Who was very bright but obsessed with Electric Motors) who was "Unteachable" when in a Classroom of normal pupils and DD . Although on occasions DDs behaviour was just "Pointless" and achieved nothing but making herself cry and feel worthless, and act like a little girl of 3., On other occasions she wanted to be seen as intellectually equal to her teachers so would ask questions, that a 15 yr old would ask at 7 years of age , the teachers would answer the question, but that was not enough for DD. When the teacher told DD to work she would perform and disturb the rest of the class. this behaviour continued though Secondary School and resulted in Many many Detentions and being excluded on 3 occasions and the school despite her intelligence ( Throwing the towel in with her) until the Senco finally got though to her at the 11th hour.

I was despairing of her behaviour and waste of potential, and was thinking the only option was Vocational education, and believed it may have had to be a Level 1. I dread to think of the poor students , who would have had to put up with DDs behaviour though "Boredom". she would have become a " Total Knightmare" and quite possibly been very rude to the other students. However she may have come off worse as some of those students know who to look after themselves.

soul2000 Wed 26-Feb-14 16:05:29

Hi Morry . How Did DDs interview go ?
Did DD give you any feed back has to how it went Positive/ Negative...

morry1000 Wed 26-Feb-14 16:35:46

I dropped DD of at the school for the interview 12.50 Pm , after rushing of from current school at 11.40 ( Made her go in for first two lessons) to drive 30 Miles with nervous and anxious DD in car ( Hopeless first two lessons , she could not concentrate and just stared out of the window: her words)
I was dreading the interview because when DD has gone ( IT CAN BE GAME OVER).

She went in to the interview at 1 PM shaking with nerves, despite the techniques the Senco had given her to quell the nerves.
She came out at 2 pm with a beaming smile on her face , saying that the she loves the school and its "Brill" she couldn't stop telling me how bright some of the Girls are, speaking at 100 mph Could not understand a thing she was saying, ( she has not spoken to any, so how does she know) I say "Tell me how the Interview went DD"
Oh she says" It went well , they have offered me a place if I get 4As and 3Bs " They also said my attached letter was very impressive and showed great determination and character that I want to succeed despite the difficulties I have , she then starts rabbiting for 25 Minutes Non stop


This is one of the greatest days in my life, and I am so proud of DD. I know for many of you it is only a Sixth Form Interview ,but for DD it is an immense achievement .

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