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Anxiety over detention

(10 Posts)
Waitingforthesunshine Thu 06-Feb-14 21:30:54

Hi everyone, finally plucked up the courage to post!

Dh had to go and pick ds up from school today as he had gone to the medical centre having been sick, he's in year 7. However when he got home he was fine, no feeling sick, not obviously unwell and very hungry (as always).

When I got home from work I sat with ds and had a chat about what was up (this has happened before) and after lots of claiming nothing was wrong, no bullying or hassle he finally opened that he had lost a piece of homework which would mean a lunchtime detention.

The problem however is that he was so anxious about getting a detention that he got stressed to the point of being sick, racing heartbeat etc.

We've had a chat about detention being a consequence of an action, and that it won't adversely affect him as long as it isn't a regular occurrence but he is still clearly very anxious about getting one.

I need some advice about how to deal with this, I hate the thought of him being so stressed over this! Sorry this has turned into a bit if an essay.

noblegiraffe Thu 06-Feb-14 21:34:24

He needs to get one and realise that it really isn't a big deal at all! Desensitisation.

Waitingforthesunshine Thu 06-Feb-14 21:36:32

I thought something similar! But I can't remember ever feeling like that about something so it's hard to know which way to play it.

Wolfiefan Thu 06-Feb-14 21:43:45

Can he redo the HW, you contact the school and explain what happened and ask for there to be no detention? (Worth a try!)
Work out with him what would stop this happening in future eg special folder just for HW? HW put in bag as soon as it is completed?

Waitingforthesunshine Thu 06-Feb-14 21:51:29

He has got a homework folder, but it was a small sheet for art and he put it inside his planner, so I expect it fell out when he was using his planner in another lesson. I'm more concerned by the level of anxiety at what seems a relatively minor issue. Is this common?

claraschu Thu 06-Feb-14 22:02:56

My daughter is the same. It is horrible to watch her anxiety over making a mistake (losing something, being slow to get her swimming cap on) ruin her enjoyment of learning. I blame the schools for being overly strict to start with (so they get children to behave well), rather than making it a priority to make sure that children feel comfortable and supported when they start at a new school.

HarrietSchulenberg Thu 06-Feb-14 22:05:39

When is homework due in? Does he have time to see his art teacher and ask for another sheet so he can still do it on time?

Wolfiefan Thu 06-Feb-14 22:05:47

I wouldn't say it is common but it does happen. I would have a word with the school. I'm a secondary teacher and would hate to think fear of a DT with me had led to a student being so distressed.

Waitingforthesunshine Thu 06-Feb-14 22:11:47

It was due in today, and he left the lesson to be sick before speaking to the teacher. I think I'll try and ring the school tomorrow and have a chat. I guess I need to speak to the pastoral care people?

OpalQuartz Fri 07-Feb-14 00:07:44

Could a teacher talk him through what happens in a detention and show him where it would be, so he can see it's not so scary?

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