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How to handle this?

(13 Posts)
kayteeuk Fri 08-Nov-13 12:22:43

My DS (year 7) took a few weeks to settle into high school, however, hes now made a large group of friends and is loving school. Parents evening he was given glowing reports from all teachers. Something has been happening lately that is bothering me more than its bothering him.

There is a girl in his class that went to primary school with him (they were never friends, my DS still thinks girls are yucky horrible things), she moved to the same high school as him 2 weeks into the school year (I heard rumours that she was being bullied at her old school thats why she moved). I dont know this girl or her parents very well. Anyway..

It seems for the past few weeks, her mum has been phoning the school claiming my DS has been 'bullying' her daughter on the school bus, the school have looked into these claims including getting witness statements from the bus driver and prefects on the bus and it turns out my son is no where near this girl, he doesnt even talk to her. Needless to say, no action was taken against my son.

Yesterday as my son was walking home from the bus stop, this girls mum stopped him, refused to let him go pass and was swearing and threatening him (things like ''you touch my girl again you'll regret it''). He sent me a text saying he needed help as this girls mum wouldnt let him walk home, I drove round to where i thought he would be (its only 2 roads from the bus stop, theres no other route) and the minute I stopped the car, this women ran off. I dont know where she lives.

My DS doesnt seem affected by it all, he said he knows 100% he hasnt even spoken this girl let alone the stuff shes claiming he has done so he isnt worried about getting into trouble. Im extremely worried though, what if she does it again? Should I just ignore it? I'm not sure what to do.

scaevola Fri 08-Nov-13 12:26:30

As the school have looked into the claims, and are prepared to involve themselves in matters arising on the journey to and from school, I'd start by telling them what has happened, and ask if they will reiterate to the parent that your DS has been completely exonerated.

If she persists in harassing your DS, then it may be a police matter.

friday16 Fri 08-Nov-13 12:27:47

Police. The threats made by an adult to a child are very worrying. The rest of it isn't your concern: adult woman stopped child in street and threatened them. That's the end of it. It doesn't even matter if your son had, for the sake of argument, been bullying the child (which it seems certain they haven't): the mother's actions are worrying.

aturtlenamedmack Fri 08-Nov-13 12:30:21

presumably the school has told her that your ds isn't the one bullying?
You need to contact the school about this womans behaviour, it is in no way ok for an adult woman to hassle a child in this way - I can't believe she left when you got there. If she really wanted to sort the situation out the surly you'd be the person to speak to.
Contact the school and reassure your ds that he has done nothing wrong. Tell him to shout for help if she approaches him again.
It needs sorting with the schools involvement though!

kayteeuk Fri 08-Nov-13 12:36:36

Thanks for the replies. I really dont know if this girl and her mum have been told that witnesses have said my son has done nothing to this girl. I had a call off the HOY about 2 weeks ago just to inform me that some allegations had been made by one girl and her mother and they had investigated it by talking to the bus driver and the prefects on the bus, and that there was no truth in these allegations, my son at the time was extremely upset, I think he was worried that they would believe her as it was her mum that made the complaints. I plan to meet him off the bus today and just walk a distance behind him to make sure hes ok (I wont walk with him because ''that will be totally not cool''). I'll contact the school and just make them aware this has happened, if it happens again I will inform the police. Thanks again!

NoComet Fri 08-Nov-13 12:48:45

Email school, and ask them to Email back that there is no evidence of bullying. Having it in writing if you end up phoning the police will make life far simpler.

No guarantee school will play ball, but it's worth a try.

I would log it with the school because there is some issue there with the girl in question. She has clearly convinced her mum for some reason that your DS has been bullying her. Its totally untrue but it suggests that she may have some issues or problems and perhaps she needs more intervention from the school.

Do report any more aggressive behaviour from the mum to the police.

Blu Fri 08-Nov-13 16:32:26

Definitely tell the school.

I would give them a report that they can keep on file.
And do ask for written confirmation that your DS has been exonerated of bullying.

Make sure your DS knows never to sit near her, and never to respond if the girl winds him up or attempts to come near him.

tiggytape Fri 08-Nov-13 18:12:50

I think the reason to report this now (to the school at least even if you feel going to the police is too much) is that this woman is obviously either very distressed or very unpredictable. It isn't normal for a grown woman to threaten an 11 year old boy in the street.

You need to make the school aware now in case she twists it round to complain that he accosted her in the street. Or in case she turns up and does this again or something more extreme. And also, if the school know how out of hand this is getting, they can call her in, show her the witness statements and insist that your DS in not involved and warn her off a bit. They might not know how upset / angry and out of control she has got over the issue unless you tell them.

OnGoldenPond Sat 09-Nov-13 12:23:37

Personally I would inform police now so it is on record with them. Her behaviour is very bizarre and I would be worrying about your DS's safety. The fact that she not only verbally harangued your DS but also physically stopped him from going home is the really worrying thing. It is almost abduction - who knows what would have happened if you had not turned up?

Also have an urgent meeting with the head and make sure they understand the seriousness of this incident. Don't let them sweep it under the carpet.

RandomMess Sat 09-Nov-13 12:27:16

Definitely tell the school.

I wonder if the dd is making it up for attention and can't think through the repercussions of doing so.

gobbin Sat 09-Nov-13 14:11:02

I would go down the route of as much info in person to the school, backed up in writing afterwards to start with.

Police later if necessary.

In our school, once a parent takes it to Police, it becomes a Police issue and school's hands are tied to some extent. Give the school a chance to sort it out first but don't hesitate to take it further if you feel it necessary.

OnGoldenPond Sat 09-Nov-13 19:45:09

I think it has already gone too far for the school to be able to handle.

If this happened to an adult most people would involve the police. Why should a child be given less protection?

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