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Connect with other parents whose children are starting secondary school on this forum.

Secondary education

Have other people been openly critical of your choice of school?

44 replies

mychildmychoice · 24/10/2013 11:02

I live in an area where the local secondary school has been "failing" for a long time. Been in special measures twice in the last few years. Several changes of head teacher. In the year of entrance for my DS the school was the second from last in 5 GCSE's at A*-C including English and Maths in the LEA.

I attended all the local comprehensive open evenings etc with DS and weighed up the options. The local school would have provided local friends, no travelling and the money spent on bus fares could have paid for private tuition if necessary.

What really became the deal breaker for me was when the head teacher at the local secondary told the audience at the speech at the open evening that parents were "fighting" to get their kids into the school. They didn't publish the A*-C results including Eng and Maths (20%). I felt that the "dishonesty" wasn't what I wanted for my DS.

I sent him to the next local comprehensive, a 20 min bus ride away. He attends with 2 double decker bus loads of other local kids whose parents have chosen the same school. There are also many other kids who go to other schools outside the area. He's been there for 5 years and I'm happy with his education, as is he. I have never pushed my opinions onto anybody. My DSD who lives with me attends the local school and it has improved greatly in 5 years and she is doing reasonably well (she is very intelligent) there but I do think there are still difficulties with the school and her choice of GCSE options was limited and despite being told she would studying for 2 particular GCSE's (not her choices) they have now been dropped after a year of study. Despite my feeling that she is not stretched enough, I have been nothing but positive about her schooling to her and to anyone who discusses it with me. I point out all the positives of the local school, of which there are several, of course.

However, I am sick to death of people who send their kids to the local school being overly defensive and often downright rude to me about my choice of school. Even one of my best friends keeps on banging on about how well her dd is doing at the local school and keeps on dropping into conversation how she hears of x y or z's kid who is being bullied at DS school or how the maths dept is "not very good" at DS school or how the ofsted report wasn't very good at DS school. I have never even discussed her dd school ofsted reports which have been 3's or 4's for many years now! I often hear parents saying how if kids "want to learn, they will learn". I disagree because if the teachers can't control the badly behaved kids in the class or are simply not teaching the kids the correct syllabus, they the kids can't learn! However, I never disagree with them, I always say things like, "I'm really glad your DD/DS/DGC is getting on well and enjoying school". I also say, if pushed, that I'm glad the local school is doing well now etc etc.

When I moved to the area over 20 years ago, I attended a job interview and the job interviewer told me that I wouldn't have been offered the interview if she had seen I had gone to the local school. I had no idea at that time if the school was good or bad as I was a young adult.

MY DP went to the local school and there are a lot of local people where there are several generations (rural area) and I think people do have a fondness for the school because they went there themselves. I understand that.

So today, we are having some work done at home by local builders. They obviously pick up on DP and I taking DS and DSD to different schools in the morning.

Then one of them starts.... his grandaughter is doing so well at local school, how the uniform is better(!) than at my DS school, how his "friend" was a teacher but had to leave my DS school because it is so awful, how they will learn if they want to, how my DS school had a "terrible" ofsted report, how the canteen is fantastic (after realising my DS takes sandwiches, as does DSD!). I said all the normal stuff and was positive about his granddaughter but he was certainly trying to get a rise out of me and was quite rude, I think, and I have been left feeling really quite rubbish this morning. :(

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ZombieBringBackAnyFucker · 24/10/2013 11:23

Yes! We live in a small city and have the choice of three comprehensive secondary schools and one private school.

DS1 has Aspergers and attends School A. Now, for many years (and I am going back to the 1980's/1990's here), School A had a bad reputation. They had discipline issues & their grades were not very good compared to the two other state comprehensives. However, they are a much smaller school (approximately half the size/number of pupils) and have an excellent attitude to SN. We took DS1 to all three state open evenings during Year 6 and School A were the only school to show any kind of positivity about DS1's need for support & any kind of knowledge of Aspergers, worryingly. Also, the fact it is a smaller school made it a lot less intimidating prospect for DS. Naturally, we chose School A.

School B (which was actually our catchment area school at the time) was the old Boys Grammar (has been a comprehensive since the 1970's but hey ho). School B is located in the "money" area of the city. Houses in the catchment area cost more than houses in the other two catchment areas. The SN department told me at their open evening (no word of a lie or exaggeration) "Oh, I don't think this will work. We don't really have SN pupils here". "Oh, he has a statement for 25 hours support? Oh well, he wouldn't get that. No, that just means the school can pay a LSA for 25 hours not that your DS will get 25 hours support". No it doesn't you idiot!!!

School C used to be the old Girls Grammar (again, not since the 1970's) and is still trading on it's ancient good reputation. Again, the SN department were very unsupportive/unhelpful regarding DS's needs (despite, I may add, this being the school in the area with the extra funding to take SN pupils!).

Now, last year - School A had both the best Ofsted of all three schools (Good, the others got Satisfactory and Needs Improvement!) AND the best GCSE results. It has also been awarded the title of "The Most Improved School In the County".

So, why oh why, do I still get "oo - your DS goes there. It's so rough there, couldn't you get him into School B or School C then?". And, for the record School A also has the toughest stance on bullying of all three schools .