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Average Asperger DC Overlooked And Bullied in Academy School Desperate To Move Him To Independent School Year 8 Now! What School We Live In Croydon HELP

(15 Posts)
lambchops27 Mon 14-Oct-13 00:18:55

I am desperate my DC needs an environment where he can be himself, year 7 was not a nice time for him or us. We are having him tutored for the obvious Croydon based independent schools for 13+ however he is not overly academic and I am worried he will fail the selection process. I need help on alternative schools I am happy to pay he needs the right environment and traditional teaching styles. Anyone got any ideas for me?

joanofarchitrave Mon 14-Oct-13 00:21:59

bumping for you

furfuraceousfuslug Mon 14-Oct-13 00:44:12

I have no direct recommendations, but wonder if you could ring Kings College School Wimbledon for a bit of advice on which schools to try. They are VERY academic, so not right for your ds, but they have experience of dc with AS.

Also, try the helpline of what used to be the National Assn for Gifted Children. I forget their new name - is it Pure Potential? Again, they should know about provision for dc with AS.

And - how about The Good Schools Guide? Website or the massive and expensive hard copy tome from bookshops.

Ladymuck Mon 14-Oct-13 09:08:12

Does he have a statement?
You seem to be ruling out all other state schools - why?
What NC is he working at for Maths and English?

Mid year moves in the independent sector are unusual in Year 8, and if you are prepping for 13+ anyway, then moving at a traditional time (ie Year 9) may make it easier to ensure that your son gets the appropriate level of support he needs. At the same time most of the 13+ places are targeted for children coming from prep schools, so it is a pretty competitive entry point especially for schools who are concerned about their place on league tables. Is there any strategy which would allow him to stay where he is and sit 13+?

What things do you think would suit him in a school? Co-ed v single sex? Does he have any other interests/skills? Is he ok to travel independently or will you need transport?

Sorry for all the questions, but assume you don't just want a telephone directory of schools!

Theas18 Mon 14-Oct-13 15:53:22

Any local preps that will take him to prepare for 13+ or are you too late for this?

WildAndWoolly Mon 14-Oct-13 20:21:06


Apparently the Hall School (Wimbledon) has quite a bit of experience of children on the spectrum, as do Whitgift and Dulwich College. This is information I've gleaned unofficially from our school SENCo and a friend who worked at the former.

Ibstock place pretty much states it won't take anyone with any special needs, and I've heard from a dyslexia specialist that Emanuel will take kids with SEN but barely help them.

HTH smile

lambchops27 Mon 14-Oct-13 22:12:22

Ok so the main reason I am looking at independent schools is mainly because I felt that the smaller class sizes and the environment would be really good for him. He is bright but not overly bright because he is actually a bit lazy.

He does not have a statement because he is high level functioning and on the face of things he is a "NORMAL" child. His social graces are a bit hit and miss. He does fantastically well with adults and very young children however his own age group not so well.

He is good at Maths, struggles with English as he does not like reading much. He is good with reading manuals, magazines and news papers. He loves Geography, Food Tech, History and of course computers. What he does not know about computers is not worth knowing. He is in 2nd set for most subjects. Not top set! However that is pretty good considering there are 6 sets for most subjects. KS3 grades are mostly 5B.

We started working towards 13+ exams in September however it has to be said that the tutor we have, who I think is a good tutor has pointed out that what he is learning in school is not what he is going to be tested on for the 13+ so not only does he have to learn all of the verbal and non verbal he has to learn the maths and the English. Happy days.

He can travel on his own although I do get a bit worried if it is too far, however my working pattern allows me time to do dropping off and picking up part way if necessary so distance is not a big deal as long as it is not a silly distance away from our home in Croydon.

Wimbledon, Sutton, Carshalton etc are all possible for us.

I have not considered other state schools mainly because I think it would be more of the same. The fact is when he got the school he is in now I really thought that he was lucky. The Academy he is in is focused on average and he actually believes that average is alright. "Why do I want more from him when his teachers don't"? The boys at his school pick on him because he is a gentle giant and he will not fight back. He is so shy and has now started to be interested in girls and the fact that he is Aspergers everything is x 10 what it would be in a child with no issues. He is distracted by the presence of girls in his class; he can't talk to them but spends a fair amount of time thinking about them. This reminds me so much of Adrian Mole and his teen issues.

We have recently looked at Whitgift, Emmanuel, Trinity and Royal Russell. He loves Whitgift and Royal Russell he liked the school grounds and what they have on offer. I think that he could pass the Royal Russell test but it isn’t going to be easy. I would happily pay for him to have an enjoyable education.

I looked at boarding school however I really cannot afford to pay £10k per term.

I have shared my burden and feel slightly better for getting it out in the open. I feel so helpless and I am hoping for divine intervention.

Thank you for all comments and questions.

Ladymuck Mon 14-Oct-13 22:45:35

It is worth looking at Ewell Castle and Wickham Court which will deliver small classes and a more individual approach. Ewell Castle takes a range of boys and isn't purely academic but Andrew Tibble doesn't allow laziness, if that is a fear. I'm afraid that I associate Royal Russell with dyslexia rather than Aspergers, but that is based on a narrow sample.

I suspect Royal Russell will want him to sit 13+ as it is so close,

lambchops27 Mon 14-Oct-13 23:11:57

Thank you Ladymuck your help is appreciated.

lambchops27 Sat 19-Oct-13 08:08:51

I am much happier as based on some information on this thread and another thread I got a few names of schools, which we visited. Some entrance tests were sat a few sleepless nights were had and an offer from the school we liked the most. He starts on 4th Novrmber after the after term break. I cant stop smiling. Thank you all!

AuntyEntropy Sat 19-Oct-13 08:12:45

Happy for you. Good luck and best wishes for your DS at his new school, OP.

BranchingOut Sat 19-Oct-13 08:14:15

Oh hooray, what a short and successful thread!

Fugacity Sat 19-Oct-13 08:54:26

I would query what your tutor is telling you your DS needs to learn for the 13+.

Senior independent schools do not usually insist on candidates from state schools doing the Common Entrance. They make alternative arrangements for these students based on the NC KS3 programme of study.

Fugacity Sat 19-Oct-13 08:55:08

Oops, read to the end of the thread....

Congratulations to your DS smile

marriedinwhiteisback Sat 19-Oct-13 09:04:07

Oh great. I was just about to ask if Thames Christian College would be too far from you because I've heard fab things about it from families who have children who are like your son.

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