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What happens if they get excluded?

(85 Posts)
Minifingers Mon 23-Sep-13 19:54:55

DD in year 10. Had a call from HOY this week and apparently dd is now on a 'time line' where they are noting down all misdemeanours. All of them. I can only assume they are collecting evidence to support excluding her if her shit behaviour continues. She has already been on internal exclusion this term, and apparently her behaviour since returning to the classroom has been poor. The HOY did make noises on the phone to me this evening about dd being permanently excluded.

What happens if this takes place? Will she be offered a place at any other school in the borough which is willing to take her? A pupil referral unit? What's the normal protocol.

Feel like we're standing on the edge of a precipice here. Will be gutted if dd has to leave the school as it's a very decent place which has done its best to support her. Sad that she's given so little back and seems hell-bent on destruction. :-(

friday16 Tue 24-Sep-13 14:16:49

Legally we are required to support her and keep her in school until she is 18. School leaving age goes up to 17 in 2014, and 18 the year after (I think).

You aren't required to support her, and you aren't required to keep her in school. The school leaving age is not rising. All that is changing is that people aged 16, then 17 have to either be in school, or in a job which has a training element, or in some other approved scheme. Where that is, and how they are financed, is an entirely different matter. She can still claim benefits from 16, and you are not responsible for housing or feeding her, and you are certainly not responsible for ensuring she is in school (or whatever). It is not as yet at all clear what, if any, enforcement there is going to be of this rather ill thought-out scheme, but it is absolutely not an extension of the existing model of parents being responsible past 16.

Bramshott Tue 24-Sep-13 14:22:57

So sorry to hear your are still going through this Minifingers.

It sounds like a big change is the only thing which might fix things, so maybe getting excluded and sent to a PRU would in the end be the best thing for your DD to 'break the cycle'? Is it worth finding out exactly how it works in your LA so that you're armed with the info before it gets to the point of exclusion?

Minifingers Tue 24-Sep-13 14:27:22

"but it is absolutely not an extension of the existing model of parents being responsible past 16"

Well the other option of course is to chuck her out onto the street at 16. An immature, troubled, self-harming teenage girl. hmm

IShouldNotBeHere Tue 24-Sep-13 14:36:21

She is worst in lessons she finds difficult - finds difficult because she hasn't done the work, not because she finds them intrinsically difficult. So that's maths primarily, science and languages. Subjects where her native wit can carry her through - English, drama, sociology - not a problem (although she still won't do homework). She seems to cope very badly with having to try at anything which involves any sort of prolonged or difficult tasks, or anything she can't do easily. She has a massive failure of gumption. It has got me thinking in the past about ADD

That reminds me of my own child (much younger than yours). She has been referred as her concentration isn't good and so she doesn't do the work even though she is very capable. The school suggested ADD. She is fine with things she loves and finds easy but seems to panic when she thinks she might fail at it and so stops working or plays up.

I've been wondering if it might be a self esteem issue. We always told her how smart she was thinking this was the right thing to do, but lately have read that it can make children scared to fail and so they sabotage themselves.

tethersend Tue 24-Sep-13 14:38:01

Minifingers, have the school put a PSP (pastoral support plan) in place yet?

This should come before a 'timeline', and will need to be put in place if a Permanent exclusion for persistent challenging behaviour is to be upheld.

Wuldric Tue 24-Sep-13 14:57:20

What are you doing at home to reinforce what the school is doing?

I ask because my own DD had episodes of disruptive behaviour - not classroom disruption but various other offences that just caused problems.

We were at the school two or three times a week discussing progress but most of all we reinforced the position the school took at home. No detentions = reward. Detentions = phone cut off. Lots and lots of engagement with the wider family about her disruptive behaviour. Daily checking of homework book and homework.

Social isolation at school worked extremely well for DD - she was both bored by it and ashamed of it - might that help? Does your school do that?

slug Tue 24-Sep-13 15:50:05

Minifingers, I taught maths. Perhaps she wouldn't be so enamored of me. wink But seriously, I worked in a very rough area and whatever magic the PRU teachers wrought on their students it seemed to work. They came to me in FE calm, considered and mature. I was always happy to have them in my class no matter what havoc they had caused before they went to the PRU.

Minifingers Tue 24-Sep-13 16:02:16

not so slug! When she was at the private tutorial college, she had one to one lessons with a former head of maths, and developed a wonderful relationship with her, to the point where the teacher took me aside when dd left and told me that dd 'was a very, very special girl', and told dd that she would be happy to foster her if things ever got unbearable at home!

JenaiMorris Tue 24-Sep-13 17:08:36

slug (and mini!) as well as the PRUs' magic, I imagine some youngsters are just better suited to college environments. I know I was, as per my post upthread.

olivevoir58 Tue 24-Sep-13 19:30:39 are describing my dd to a tee! Honestly, absolutely everything you have said, from the laying in bed watching TV to the disorganisation and lack of homework. The one difference is (and I'm assuming here) is that my dd was adopted from the care system aged 8. She was bright and hardworking at primary school but it all spiralled out of control when she went to high school. From Y9 the hoy was threatening permanent exclusion but as an ex LAC, the SENCO stepped in and we secured a statement for her in Y10. The statement brought in TA support in lessons. She already had in place the most fabulous key worker/learning mentor who in the words of the deputy head 'would walk over glass for her'. Anyway fast forward 2 years and school kept her and she ended up with 6 quality gcses! She is now at college doing a L3 Btec.
My dds problems stem from early trauma primarily, though I'm sure she is genetically vulnerable to issues too. I know this is not the case with your dd. She has an ADHD diagnosis and medication definitely helped.
We are also in inner London.

Please do PM me if you want as school put a lot of other very helpful strategies in place for her too.

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