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Would you send your child to a grammar school ?

(332 Posts)
HeGrewWhiskersOnHisChin Wed 18-Sep-13 19:27:52

This is going to be quite long and rambling but I wanted to find out how much of my own experiences are clouding my judgement.

Okay, where we live there are not any great schools unless you are in the correct feeder schools, which we aren't as we moved to the area after Reception.

I know people say that all the time, but it's true - I'm not a snob I promise! grin

There are a few grammar schools within a commutable distance, and after researching all the local schools, look like the best choice.

I say choice as they are not necessarily an option for us. DD is bright, on the top table (apparently), but as I said already we live in a really deprived area. Half the children don't even wear the uniform let alone turn up for school. If she were at a better performing school she might be more average, I don't know.

So anyway I was going to do a practice verbal and non-verbal reasoning test with her just to see if she had any natural aptitude or not, and then consider whether we should try for a grammar or not.

BUT... She doesn't want to go to a school like that, she wants to go to one with normal people.

Oh the irony! Her words are exactly I said to my very working class parents and my head teacher after turning down a place at a grammar school. My dad was angry but my mum let me make my own mind up.

Subsequently I went on to a 'normal' school and academically I achieved as well as I would have at the grammar, but but but I can't help thinking that if I'd have mixed with girls from the other school, I may have not ended up pregnant at 18 living in a council flat confused!

I know my DD is very easily led, even more so than me (she gets it from her dad's side)grin and I think when she goes to secondary school she'll be more interested in boys and makeup than getting As.

So what should I do?

I said it'd be long!

ErrolTheDragon Wed 25-Sep-13 14:17:26

Yes, that happens - DDs school lost one girl in yr7. But they've had a few come in from other schools in yr8 and 9 - the classes were all 28 at the outset and some now have one or two extra - the transfer isn't all in one direction.

LaQueenForADay Wed 25-Sep-13 15:21:27

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Mamahen999 Mon 01-Feb-16 00:36:25

I'm in the same position. My ds1 got a really high score in entrance test. Grammar involves bus journey. He is very academically bright and also sporty. My family and friends are being really unsupportive and I am so shocked and upset . I got accepted into grammar but my 1970s mum didn't see the point of giving herself hassle and sent me to the local comp. after a bit of bullying in year 8 I absolutely loved that place. I made friends from all creeds colours and backgrounds. I was the brightest in my year but my GCSEs were average. At a level I had to borrow teaching notes from grammar friends and go to night tech cos the teaching was bad. I git high grades and went to uni to study law. What a culture shock! Kids from grammars who knew how to work . I didn't . Now free education has made me a middle class professional. Dear husband is a grammar school boy. In my heart I feel selective education is wrong but my head says give my boy what my husband had( though I don't think he'd half the fun ) advice please

guardian123 Wed 11-May-16 20:56:40

Teaching to test, students are zombie like (don't care attitude and zero ambition), the national curriculum covers subjects that aren't relevant to real society and work, class size is too big, no critical thinking, students are over-protected, etc. These are the problems we discovered since we started working in secondary school. Although grammar is better than comprehensive but the above-mentioned problems remain unchanged. For the next year or so, I plan to homeschool my son meanwhile my partner will look for a teaching job abroad. Based on our knowledge, International Baccalaureate / Canadian / curriculums from nordic countries are way better than GCSE/iGCSE.

ashes12 Tue 14-Feb-17 19:17:22

Whatever happened to OP's predicament?

teddygirlonce Tue 14-Feb-17 19:40:08

guardian123 I'm not sure I agree with you, particularly about children at super-selective grammars. They are very much taught the art of critical thinking and most are insanely ambitious, in our experience.

Different children suit different schools though - grammars are not for everyone. BUT I would say it's wrong to think that social class has anything to do with fitting in, or not. I think very high academic achievement can be a great leveller in selective schools.

meditrina Tue 14-Feb-17 19:50:40


With only a fortnight to offers day, there really isn't anything you can other than wait and see which school he is allocated. Fiddling with your application now means the application would be treated as late and you would only get a place from what is left over after all on-time applications have been processed.

If you have reservations about the offer he does get, I suggest you start a new thread then explaining the predicament and asking for advice on whether/how you can change it.

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