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Help- year 7 parents, do your children have boyfriends/girlfriends? Advice, please.

(14 Posts)
seeker Thu 07-Feb-13 08:42:57

Ds has a girlfriend in his class- they don't meet outside school, but they do text and so on. All very sweet and innocent. He saw a bracelet in a shop in town, and this morning in the car asked me if I would buy it for him to give her for Valentines day It's a little chain with a tiny pink heart on it. "Of course" I said- practically unable to drive from sheer soppiness.

Then, he said 'oh, I.m not sure whether that's a good idea- her family don't know, and where would she say she got it from?" When I asked him why she hadn't told them, he said that she thought they wouldn't like it. I said we'd talk about it some more tonight.

No, I know they are only 11, and they will have split up and moved on to someone else next week but am I over thinking this to be unhappy with her mum and dad not knowing? I don't know them- wouldn't recognise them if I met them in Tesco. And I don't want to stop his romantic gesture- but, but,but ......What would you do?

CountingClouds Thu 07-Feb-13 09:23:11

Yip your over thinking it. Just enjoy having a good relationship with your DS.

seeker Thu 07-Feb-13 09:46:15


Wrong thread, possibly?

basildonbond Thu 07-Feb-13 09:50:16

leave them to it ... as you say it's sweet and innocent and he'll have forgotten all about her by the end of term

seeker Thu 07-Feb-13 09:52:15

But do I buy the bloody bracelet?????

TantrumsAndBalloons Thu 07-Feb-13 09:57:17

Buy the bracelet. Well I would anyway.

My ds1 bought his year 7 girlfriend a bracelet. Then they split up 2 weeks later grin

In all seriousness, I would wonder why the girl didn't tell her parents, maybe they think she is too young for a boyfriend.

Just have a chat with your DS about that, like you said. A lot of parents are a bit worried about their year 7 daughters having a boyfriend even though its all innocent and no actual "dating" going on.

basildonbond Thu 07-Feb-13 10:04:44

I suspect she won't have told her parents cos she's hideously embarrassed - I certainly was at that age if a boy was remotely interested in me and there's no way I would have told my parents

buy the bracelet - as long as it's not ridiculously expensive - and don't overthink!

Marni23 Thu 07-Feb-13 10:12:37

I wouldn't worry about him buying it for her. But I'd be telling him to buy it himself!

seeker Thu 07-Feb-13 10:20:23

It's £2.99 And he will pay for it- he just can't get to the shop where it is until too late.

I suppose I have always had over sharing children ( the thumb screws help) - and I didn't like the idea of encouraging something, however trivial, that her parents might not like. But if she just hasn't told them because she doesn't tell them stuff, that's fine, I suppose.

Dd didn't have a boyfriend til she was 16. Suited me fine!

brentwoodgal Thu 07-Feb-13 10:55:24

I wouldn't worry too much. At this age, all they seem to do is text and never meet outside school. My DD loves to tell me about the goings on with the year 7 "relationships" ! This morning in the car, she said "so and so has broken up with so and so because he spends too much time on his X-Box." grin I'm not sure how I kept a straight face !!

CarlingBlackMabel Thu 07-Feb-13 13:04:59

Buy it, chat to him about how he thinks she might react, how he would like her to react, and point out that it might cause something of a stir as she will show it off to all her friends. He might chicken out, in the end.

But I can't see the harm in him giving it to her, he's giving her a sweet present, not luring her behind the bushes for nefarious purposes. Not your or his responsibility about whether she tells her parents, although good to chat to him about the undesiaravbility of deliberate subterfuge.

Sweet, sweet boy to think of this.

JenaiMorris Thu 07-Feb-13 18:05:53

Gosh that's lovely. I wish my ds was so sweet (I think).

Let him give her the bracelet - she might have to hide it or make up a white lie, or ask your ds to look after it or it might be the thing that sparks up a conversation between her and her parents.

pointythings Thu 07-Feb-13 20:02:23

I think it's sweet. And it's even better that he feels he can talk to you about it.
DD1 is 12, she says lots of her friends have boyfriends/girlfriends but she has no intention of having one till after she's done her GCSEs grin

bigTillyMint Thu 07-Feb-13 20:47:21

Buy it - what a sweetie to think of getting his girlfriend something!

DD had boyfriends throughout Y7 and 8 - they never went anywhere (unless in a group) but texted/spoke on the phone/FB'd.

She is now in Y9 and has a "proper" boyfriend - they go on datesshock Dunno if she is planning to get him anything. Or vv!

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