Joint homework problems - do you agree with my suggestion?

[Madmog]

My daughter has two joint homework projects. One being with A&B - the first occasion all three got together, the second B backed out last minute, the third all together but B left early, the fourth A was ill and B came for 10 mins and said she had to go as it was getting dark (her Mum has a car or she could have stayed for tea but didn't tell me she was going) so my daughter spent two hours finishing it off on her own last night.

Anyway, daughter has another project with B due in 4 Jan. They've got together once and I've taken them to visit the place they're doing the project on, my daughter has got books from library and borrowed them off Granny. My husband is off over Xmas so don't want her doing projects then that she' had 3 months to do and then B is away. My daughter is very good friends with B who calls here every morning and I've mentioned twice (nicely) to B that I don't want my daughter doing homework in the hols and they need to crack on and do it.

So after last night, I've told my daughter that if B can't get together with her and finish the project by next week, then she'll be doing it on her own and I will do a covering letter to teacher explaining it was hard to get them together and I'd made that decision. Also, homework apparently can't be done at B's house as she has an eight year old brother and doesn't have power point, so it's me that provides the snacks, tea, computer, lighting, printing all the time.

[chloe74]

I can sort of understand your frustration but I can also imagine the other families point of view. You are dictating that they cant work on the project during the holidays, which is probably exactly when it is supposed to be done. Therefore B could argue that your daughter is the problem.

Who determined homework cant be done at B's house. Was it the girls? Could it be that this was your daughters decision as much as B's and in fact they could work on it there but just prefer not to. You don't need power point to do a presentation, their are plenty of free programs that do exactly the same and also work on power point if needed. Why don't they work in a library, or at school in a study club? You don't have to provide snacks, you choose to do so, so its not something you can complain about. As for printing, its on power point and there is no printing, or they could go use the library or school if printing is needed.

Are you really wanting them to do this work at your house so you can dictate how and when it is done. There seems to be plenty of solutions. Are you really just annoyed that your DD has to work with someone else who is not up to your standards? Maybe you should leave the girls alone to work out arrangements themselves instead of interfering.

[Madmog]

Thanks for your reply. Sorry, I didn't make myself clear, the homework was given to them in September so have already had over two months. My hubby finishes on 19 Dec and is back at work on 28 Dec, we are actually seeing someone every day of his holidays as have a large family and two close groups of friends. B goes away on 28 Dec which I totally accept. To my mind though it does sound between both of them they are both doing something every day of the hols and unless parents change arrangements the work won't get done.

Just feel they've had ages to do it and I'm reluctant to change Christmas arrangements because it hasn't been done. Maybe, I don't have to provide snacks, but if my daughter is hungry (which she usually is) then I can't leave the other girl out. Forgot about homework club, might suggest they go to that so they have a time agreed and can concentrate. I suppose I'm just frustrated as it feels like they haven't got anywhere in over two despite my daughter providing the info and me providing the location. It doesn't help B didn't do her share of the other project.

[Startail]

Personally I'd tell school to stuff it, joint HW and projects should be kicked into touch as modern gimmicky rubbish.

And don't tell me people work together as adults, they don't . They have project manages and team leaders telling them what to do.

Wishy washy all in it together projects only work if the participants are really good friends and want to spend time together.

[creamteas]

I'd agree with telling the school no group work. Groupwork almost always leads to an unequal division of labour and is unfair.

I hate setting it, although am forced to on occasions because education is being reduced from a social good in its own right to work-training.

[marquesas]

I'd also suggest writing to the teacher and saying your daughter will be doing her own project. I wouldn't be happy at all to have to get involved with managing the logistics of a joint project and giving three months to do a piece of work is just too long ime esp. if the deadline is after Christmas.

[Theas18]

Argh! the stress of joint working. Youngest is one of lifes obsessive organisers and she can't see why the others don't do what they are supposd to do bt the deadline..... Eldest is at uni, and whilst a head in the clouds academic is might pissed off that the others hand in rubbish, don't add the references etc and drag her grade down (whilst getting the benefit of her work pulling their grade up!).

What are they supposed to demonstrate? Does it just mean there is 10 power pouints /displays that need marking rather than 30?

[Madmog]

Thanks for your replies. The other girl has been friends with my daughter for many years and is one of three who call on my daughter each morning which is a lovely for her, but she just doesn't seem to be able to commit.

I'll give them until Monday, but last night my daughter readily agreed to do it on her own if needs be as she knows it needs doing. She said most of the class have handed their projects in. Will probably send a short note into the tutor early next week explaining it's been hard to get them together and because of that I've made the decision (hopefully with the tutor's agreement) it's best my daughter does it on her own so I'm sure the deadline is met.

[pointysettia]

Well, we're sort of doing both... DD1 was set a maths task which could be either shared or solo and another girl asked to do it with her but would not commit to a day or time. So she did it alone.

On the other hand we are doing the dreaded Year 7 castle model project, and DD is doing it with 2 other girls. One is a close friend who is here daily and I know her mum well, the other is a little more tricky (very protective mum, will hardly let her DD out of her sight) but after I wrote the mum a nice letter she has agreed to let her DD come round mine. Date and time are set, we are making a motte and bailey cake (no Baileys involved, worse luck) and it will be a great day.

The difference was that the girls in question were all willing to commit and compromise.

[Madmog]

Just thought you all know the outcome - my daughter spoke to the tutor about it yesterday (without me saying) and she can do it on her own. All she has to do is tell her friend.

Except for maths and french, everything is project based so she is planning on finishing all projects now over the weekend, which means she won't have any homework until the New Year - hooray!

Pointysettia, we've just done the castle. Luckily this was a solo project.

[marquesas]

Glad to hear that she's now doing it on her own. At least now she will be properly rewarded for her effort and no one else will be taking advantage of her hard work.

A good result I think.