Slightly miffed DS didn't go on this school trip.

[LynetteScavo]

School had a Y9 trip to Cambridge Uni for certain G&T students.

DS wasn't invited on trip. Fair enough, if he's not G&T, but from what I could tell his best friends who went on the trip aren't G &T either, in fact, they are a lot less able than him in Maths and Science.

Then I found out the trip was offered to the DC who were most able in English and maths. Again, fair enough, I understand why DS wasn't offered a place, as his English is nowhere near as good as his maths/science.

But his maths is very good, as is his science. Overall he is very able. (Absolutely nothing wrong with his grammar, spelling, etc, but he never hands in any decent English homework, which brings his over all grade down).

I don't want him to go to Cambridge Uni, he doesn't want to go to Cambridge Uni, so why I'm miffed he didn't get to spend a day dossing in Cambridge, I'm not sure.

He did spend the whole evening doing his homework, though, which is unheard of, after DH suggested his friends grades were higher than his because they actually did some work.

Maybe I'm not used to teachers not telling me how academic he is.

[noblegiraffe]

Maybe he is academic, but he's clearly also a bit lazy. It seems that this might be the first time that his laziness has actually had more of an impact than his brain, which has allowed him to coast quite comfortably up till now.

Y9 wouldn't be a bad time to have that sort of wake-up call.

[radicalsubstitution]

He is your DS and you love him dearly and you have every right to feel he is special.

As a science teacher I know how hard it is trying to pick the 'gifted and talented' students in a class. The truly gifted may be the lazy shit who never brings a pen, never completes homework, but just 'gets it' and achieves average levels in tests by doing bog all.

The least gifted may achieve the best marks by sheer hard work.

You have every right to feel your DS is G&T. However, the G&T co-ordinator wa probably tasked with 'pick the top 30 students in English and Maths in the year and send them on this trip'. The co-ordinator may not even be a teacher of maths or English, and was maybe relying on data (possibly not the most up-to-date) provided by curriculum leaders who also don't teach all the students.

What I'm trying to say is that the system is very imperfect but neither a reflection on your DS nor on his subject teachers individually.

That won't stop you feeling pissed off, which is natural.

[LynetteScavo]

You are both right.

He does just enough homework not to get a detention.

The work he does in class is barely legible.

Then they have a half-termly test and he gets one of the highest scores in the year.

He tells me he will do some work in Y10, as he would like to pass some GCSE's

[Dominodonkey]

I am not doubting that your son is able or what radical says but how can you be pissed off that your son who you admit is very lazy in English was not invited on a trip which was based on English and Mathematics? Why would teachers want to spend their time taking a kid who can't be bothered to do basic work on a trip. Instead of being 'miffed' shouldn't you be cross at your son who is letting down you, himself and his teachers can't because he can't be arsed.

[LIZS]

It is frustrating and disappointing when you think your dc could benefit from such trips. However I was always and that the children who got such opportunities at dd's prep were the more precocious, lazy, disruptive overtutored ones , not even necessarily top exam scorers, while quiet, studious, less self-confident dd got overlooked. Try explaining that to a child under 10 :(

[socharlotte]

Well maybe they asked the kids who was interested in going to Cambridge and he didn't say he was?

[LynetteScavo]

"Instead of being 'miffed' shouldn't you be cross at your son who is letting down you, himself and his teachers can't because he can't be arsed."

No, because actually, he is not letting anyone down. As DH keeps reminding me, we never thought we would get to the point where he willingly attends school.

I am enjoying being miffed about little things to do with school.

[Lancelottie]

the lazy shit who never brings a pen, never completes homework, but just 'gets it' and achieves average levels in tests by doing bog all.

Oh dear. Radical, I think you may have met DS2.

[TantrumsAndBalloons]

I think you may have also met DS1 who, at age 13 takes great delight in the fact he has never revised for a test but always scores in the top 10 percent

i want to strangle him and shout but if you did revise you might be in the top 5 percent

[radicalsubstitution]

Actually, Lancelottie and Tantrums, that lazy little shit was ...err... me.

I got my comeuppance at university when it suddenly all got much harder and I couldn't 'blag' my way through it any more. I discovered homework and revision and still only came out with an average grade.

And now I am a teacher.......

I don't think Ofsted would buy it if I said 'X's exercise book is a disgrace, has more grafitti in it than notes and no homework but he will still get an A* because he get's what I'm teaching him and doesn't need notes'.

[lljkk]

I am enjoying being miffed about little things to do with school.

Bless you for the honesty.
My first thought was: culture of envy.
If they had limited funding they had to choose somehow, so someone was always going to just fall outside the cutoff.
Could you take him to visit Cambridge?

I dunno why we (society) think intelligence is mostly innate & hard work ethic is mostly learnt. Seems to be like they are both a variable mix of both. You can lead a horse to water but you can't make it drink.