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Bright boy who just does not want to get the work done, is there a point letting him even do the independent school exams (SW London)

(20 Posts)
NotQuintAtAllOhNo Thu 01-Nov-12 15:07:42

I am beginning to wonder.
He is bright, working at level 5 (possible 6), but he is procrastinating all the time, and have excuse after excuse why he cannot get down to do his homework and revision.

Do we have a chance?

happygardening Thu 01-Nov-12 15:31:11

I used to ask my gardener "can I plant that there?" he used to reply "if you don't plant it you will never know."

NotQuintAtAllOhNo Thu 01-Nov-12 15:52:18

Would your gardener say "no, that plant requires sun, and here is too shady", or "no, that plant requires acid soil, and yours is not acidic enough"?

I guess my question is rather if I am struggling so much to get him do something, will a private education be wasting our time and our money?

But, I suppose I expect you all to be gardeners, with complete knowledge of the RHS encyclopedia of plants, whereas it is not possible to answer that question. sad

Hamishbear Thu 01-Nov-12 15:55:35

Of course you have a chance. The school will (I imagine?) have consequences for work that is not completed & high expectations and standards. You just need to get him in - how selective is the school?

happygardening Thu 01-Nov-12 16:33:08

My friend wanted his DS to sit the Kings scholarship (KS) into Eton the head was horrified (the school had a long history of getting Eton scholarships) "Henry is a very nice lad" the head said cagely as my friend can be very difficult "and he's doing well but how can I put it he's only in the second class I was thinking more about .. well maybe stowe? My friend reply if he doesn't sit it he defintely won't get it.
A year later he came third in the notoriously difficult KS and thrived all through his five years at Eton!

NotQuintAtAllOhNo Thu 01-Nov-12 16:33:44

He is registered with three schools, Ibstock, KCS and Emmanuel.

I think he is just bored and uninspired right now. He has done the types of exercises he is given so many times by now, and does not feel he is getting anything new. Maybe that is the problem.

CalmingMiranda Thu 01-Nov-12 20:20:38

Of course that is the problem! Or part of it, anyway. And being an 11 year old boy.

As for the idea that you would be wasting private education on a child with a lacksadaisical streak - IME that is what private education is best at: compensating for, or making up for, or 'supporting the child through' any academic mediocrity! Not meaning to be horrid in any way, that is EXACTLY what private ed did for me!

Good luck, and don't despair. The same scenario is being played out in many households.

basildonbond Thu 01-Nov-12 20:28:51

ds (who has got procrastinating down to a fine art) got a scholarship to a south London independent with no practice at all ... and I mean none ... well, apart from one maths paper which he did so badly and sketchily that we thought he'd have absolutely zilch chance of getting in, let alone getting a scholarship...

To be honest, if he's bright and currently working at L5 or 6 he should breeze into both Ibstock and Emanuel (just make sure he can spell it right wink) as neither is particularly selective

He'll have quite a bit more competition at KCS but that's partly because they don't take that many boys at 11 - however even so he may well surprise you

Let's face it, 11+ practice papers aren't that riveting so maybe just give him a break for now

NotQuintAtAllOhNo Thu 01-Nov-12 22:22:56

I just corrected his Emanuel sample paper, and there were no mistakes, aside from a stupid one with x and y axis, which I am sure he has misunderstood what his teacher has explained about the points position, so we need to investigate that a bit further.

laughtergoodmedicine Fri 02-Nov-12 13:17:39

Dont despair. Is he good at writing poetry; singing, painting or football?

NotQuintAtAllOhNo Fri 02-Nov-12 18:38:22

He is good at writing stories, he has really good imagination and very descriptive language. He is in the school choir and has asked for vocal lessons, as he wants to perfect "walking in the air".

mumzy Sat 03-Nov-12 00:01:07

I think sometimes bribery has to be used. If you think the school would suit him I'd reward him for putting in the work rather than if he passed or not. DS1 responded well to this approach.

Kez100 Sat 03-Nov-12 23:04:59

Children change and act differently for others. My 14 year old son has just realised he will have to sit some exams soon and, as they matter to his future and what he wants to do as a career, he is taking them very seriously : not a trait that was showing itself in year 7/8/9.

castlesintheair Sun 04-Nov-12 08:56:33

Quint, does he actually want to go to those schools? I think that can sometimes be half the battle.

I agree with others who say he probably doesn't need to practice much for Emanuel/Ibstock. Make sure he's got all the Maths covered for KCS as that will be tough for anyone.

ajandjjmum Sun 04-Nov-12 09:09:17

DS bucked his ideas up the year before he sat CE, and is now studying Physics at uni. But the motiviations did (eventually!) come from himself, and was not down to my nagging! Maybe talk to him and ask what he thinks?

sleeplessinsuburbia Sun 04-Nov-12 09:13:28

calming miranda is right, sounds like the perfect environment for him and he will flourish!

KingscoteStaff Sun 04-Nov-12 22:10:44

Has he done the practice Maths paper on the KCS website? Get him to do it to time, then mark it together.

To be honest, KCS expect most boys to cruise the written papers - they then do their main selection through the two interviews.

One of the staff said to me at the Open Day 'We pick boys who we think will be exciting to teach!'

blackwattle Sun 04-Nov-12 22:44:17

Why not get him to sit a mock exam. There are a couple in west
London in the next few weeks. The feedback he gets could spur him into action.

NotQuintAtAllOhNo Mon 05-Nov-12 19:03:09

To be honest, he has fallen out of love with Ibstock. He has said he is not keen on Hampton. He still likes Emanuel and KCS. He is most keen on Gunnersbury and Christs! (VA Faith schools) and sat the CVMS banding test today, which he said was a doodle. I think they had 600-900 applicants for 120 places though.....

NotQuintAtAllOhNo Mon 05-Nov-12 19:03:37

Will do the KCS paper to time, thanks. Good idea.

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