DS2 has always had his heart set on going to Oxbridge - along with some other very fixed aims for his life. He's only 11 and has high functioning Asperger's (hence the fixed goals/ beliefs thing) and so far done v well academically.
New senior school has recently assessed all the Yr 7 intake. DS2 falls within only the third quartile in ability for this very academic school.
The school sends a lot of students to Oxbridge from the 6th form but this means that they only 'support' the absolute creme de la creme in applications. At another kind of school, DS2 may have had some chance at least of applying. But he won't be in that cohort at this school.
I was lucky, several decades ago - to be at a school that had never sent anyone to Oxbridge. They put me forward and I got in, purely, I think, because the college that accepted me - and the university at that time - wanted to show that they gave places to people with a potential a chance but from schools that didn't 'prepare' you for Oxbridge.
By investing in DS2s education, I'm actually going to be putting him at a disadvantage. He'll be coming from a school known for its academic success and Oxbridge/Russell group Uni success.
I suppose I have several choices available to me across the next few years:
Help DS2 to see that he can be happy even if he doesn't achieve one of his 'rigidly fixed' life aims (probably the most important aspect of this whole thing anyway).
Take him away from this school where he's really, really happy and already doing well and put him in a school where he may have a better chance to aim for Oxbridge and be in the very top few in his cohort.
Work with the school, across the years, to hope they'll support him with what he wants to do - and begin now on that track.
I get the impression that they've already categorised the 11 yr olds and will get from each of them what they now expect.
Has anyone else had children in the same position? What have you done to help the situation? Did you just 'bow' to the opinion of where your child ranks in the class cohort and let go of trying to enable your child to achieve their goals, if these are unrealistic, in the context of that kind of school?
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Not going to be Oxbridge material
63 replies
BlogOnTheTyne · 18/10/2012 13:15
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