Help! find me a school for my dyslexic child.

[garderner]

My daughter has started sec school, she has a statement for dyslexia. The school I have sent her to said they could support her in a small group with children of similar needs. We are shocked to find that she has been put with children that have emotional needs (one has been self harming in class) the others are disruptive and find school life challenging. My daugther is having difficulty concerntrating and making friends because she is restricted to this small group and is now having problems sleeping and has become very reluctant to go to school. My local educational authority convinced me this was the best place for her. My daughter doesn't have behavioural problems, she is a bright intelligent child who has a love for learning. I need a school that will offer her specialised help. I live in the southeast. I am willing to move. Does anyone know of any schools that could help her.

[Copthallresident]

That is shocking, emotional and behavioural problems are not "similar" to Dyslexia and your daughter needs specialist help to overcome literacy problems, develop learning strategies and organisational skills, and above all confidence and awareness of her strengths.

I can't help with advice on which LAs in the South East have the best support in place but I think if you want to throw the net that widely it might be helpful to talk to some of the charities that work with teachers etc. in the South East, who may be able to advise where there is best practise. There is the British Dyslexia Association, Dyslexia Action, Helen Arkyll Helen Arkyll have been very helpful to my family but we went the route of private education and tutors, and then it wasn't perfect.

However both one of my daughters and I are at RG/1994 universities and the support you get there is fantastic. They really understand that Dyslexics have strengths that can really start to shine at the higher level of education if they are given the appropriate support. I wish you all the best.

[trinity0097]

Could she not just join the normal classes in school for her year group and have TA support? It sounds like she's been put in a nurture group which are not suitable for average/bright children with just learning needs rather than EBD issues as well.

[garderner]

Thank you for your advice ladies. I have had a meeting at the school and another arranged for next week and will suggest the TA support. I have also been in touch with the charities advised and it has given me some direction. My daughter has shut herself in her bedroom today and refused to go to school, she has never done this before. I can't believe this is happening. The school suggested she joined after school clubs to make more friends, she feels this is too much with the home work to complete as well. She has become so nervous and worried, I just can't believe it and I can't think straight.

[PurpleAlert]

Where in the South East? There is a secondary with a Dyslexia Unit near me.

[garderner]

I am in Surrey.

[Copthallresident]

I really feel for her, and you. It must be so traumatic if you are a bright child who has been diagnosed, and think you are going to get the right help to realise your potential and then find yourself segregated with pupils who have entirely different problems and needs, problems and needs that make friendship with the others problematic. How naive are her teachers to think she is suddenly going to be in a circle of friends when she turns up at after school clubs? At this age it is all about establishing norms in a friendship group through the school day, teenage girls are so sensitive about difference. It is hard enough for Dyslexics to manage their difference (not being as quick with the banter, misperceptions about what Dyslexia is etc) even when the school understands their needs but sectioning them off with everyone who has emotional and behavioural problems gives them more labels and baggage to manage. I speak from experience, both my own, passed myself off as ditsy, dreamy and not bothered, hence leaving report "has been hard to help. Approaches her studies with a general air of insoucience" (I had to look that one up too, means not bothered !) and my daughters, one plays the evil eccentric genius, the other the one everyone can talk to about their problems without fear of it getting out and damaging their cool (possibly a way for your daughter to cope??) There was a really good programme recently about the problems faced by Dyslexics, featuring Kara Tointon, has your daughter seen that? Plus all the stories I am sure you are familar with, Steve Jobs, Stephen Spielberg (that was in the news today) etc etc. I hope this doesn't sound patronisng etc but if it helps.

I cannot in any way comment on the strengths and weaknesses of the provision but there are units specifically to help those with SLDs (Specific Learning Difficulties, Dyslexia, Dyspraxia etc) as opposed to speach and language problems and emotional and behavioural problems in our borough (Richmond, Surrey) at Orleans Park, Christ's and Teddington, all very good schools. However they are very oversubscribed. I know that with a statement they have to take you over the normal limits on numbers but I wouldn't move her until you know these units will meet her needs. PM me if this is a possibility because affluent West London presents it's own problems for teenagers...... You sound to be doing a great job of supporting your daughter. I too have sleepless nights and a breaking heart sometimes but all you can do is your best.

[Inaflap]

Try the ssc at warden park school in Cuckfield, haywards heath. If she has a statement, have you tried private special. Limpsfield grange i think is just for girls.

[Mutteroo]

OP, I feel for you & your DD. My DD is 19 & only now starting to believe in herself again. She's an advert for what happens when you get a late dyslexia diagnosis (aged 15) & poor school support till aged 16. She experienced a rotten time at a state secondary & then weak support at a private school. It was the sixth form college that really tried to help her, but but this point she had given up on education. My son however has had brilliant support since year 7 & is now attending the same sixth form his sister went to. He's been taught how to cope with his dyslexia & sees it as a gift rather than a hinderance because he sees things differently to those who are supposedly 'normal'. Using my son's words here as they're important. He talks about Einstein being dyslexic & how he had no help at all yet still managed to pull out a few theories!

Fight for what your daughter needs & you'll succeed. Good luck.

[garderner]

Hi Ladies, just wanted to thank you all for your support and brilliant advice. I have had a couple of meetings at the school, they were very pleasent etc, yet I don't feel they understand my daugthers needs. You know when it doesn't feel right inside and thats the feeling I got, I justed wanted to get out of there as soon as possible. We have found a couple of very promising schools which speciallise in dyslexia. We going to have to move, so house is on the market. My daughter is in full agreement, and has informed me she wants a bigger bedroom. I think she deserves it. This has reminded me to always follow my gut instinct with my children and how important it is that they are heard.

[Copthallresident]

Glad to hear you have a way forward. I wish you both the best.

[TuftyFinch]

Have you looked at Frewen College in East Sussex? It's a specialist dyslexia college. It has a great reputation, they've got a comprehensive website. Can't link as on phone. Good luck with the move.

[Brookzie]

We found out that my daughter was dyslexic and also dyscalcic!!! Despite all ger school reports being good and projected grades being good as well, But not until she was in the middle of her GCSE's so for her it was too little too late, when she got her results back she missed one if her grades and now we are in a stat appeal for her local school! And being honest no one wants to help her. Has anyone ever had an appeal at sixth form and won?