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Overcome with anger and shame: thinking of exterminating entire family

(13 Posts)
confidence Sun 28-Aug-11 01:01:59

I almost can't bring myself to post this through the tears...

Our lazy, ungrateful, waster DC has just "achieved" the most shocking set of GCSE results imaginable, bringing irreversible shame and ruin upon our family and more importantly, upon my determination to live my dreams vicariously through him.

He got 15 A*s and one A. sad I really don't know what went wrong. The school were saying that he was doing well and there was nothing to worry about, but they were obviously lying through their teeth. ONLY an A in Advanced Semiotic Interpretations of Ancient Greek Proto-Quantum Theory! How could he slip like that and they not have warned us?

DC is already 11 and we are (were?) of course determined that he would go to Oxbridge before his 13th birthday. The Bottomly-Finglethwaites' daughter down the road is 14 and just about to complete her doctorate at Yale. Now DC is going to make us the laughing stock of the whole village.

Anyway, since my maternal great-aunt was 1/17 Japanese, I take face saving measures in these situations very seriously. I am thus, naturally, thinking having my entire unfortunate family exterminate themselves in ritual hara-kiri.

What would you do?

Dorje Sun 28-Aug-11 01:12:07


Maybe put him on the stage? They take all types...

Tortington Sun 28-Aug-11 01:15:36

well they are piss poor results love not really sure what youe xpect coming on here with a post like that.

some people don't have an education and only get to sleep with a tortoise

stripeybump Sun 28-Aug-11 01:17:39

It's the teachers' fault obv. Remove him instantly and have him privately tutored, preferably by private school teachers who are obviously vastly superior to state ones.

Make your disdain for him very clear. It's not just about him, it's 90% about you - doesn't he appreciate the hours of support and endless time you have given him?

I feel for you. It's just not fair.

Kestryn Sun 28-Aug-11 01:22:46

You poor thing. Have you considered an appeal?

madhattershouse Sun 28-Aug-11 01:24:47

I blame the parents grin next stop London riots!! Really, give you a f-. Must try harder grin

confidence Wed 31-Aug-11 20:06:04

It's the teachers' fault obv. Remove him instantly and have him privately tutored, preferably by private school teachers who are obviously vastly superior to state ones.

That's the ultimate irony. He HAD private tutoring in Advanced Semiotic Interpretations of Ancient Greek Proto-Quantum Theory! Admittedly we didn't start until five years before the exams, and he was only doing three hours a week when the tutor herself recommended four. But times are hard - DH is CEO of a major international industrial conglomerate and has had to pay for extra therapy to cope with the guilt of making so many of his workers unemployed. We were also saving for an extension to the indoor swimming pool at the time and just couldn't stretch to it. Now I'll regret what this enforced poverty has done to us for the rest of my life.

There was a piece in the local paper today about that little Bottomly-Finglethwaite bitch and her doctoral thesis. Something about depression and anxiety among over-stressed middle class teenagers. Who's gonna be interested in something like that?

SquongebobSparepants Wed 31-Aug-11 20:43:47

Oh god, sad I am so sorry.
Do you knwo how close he was to an A*? Obviously this will have bearing on the method of death.
I assume naturally that the tutor must die as well. Incompetant bitch.

RedBlanket Wed 31-Aug-11 20:50:57

What does he have to say for his lazy arse self?
Chuck him out.

Ilovegeorgeclooney Wed 31-Aug-11 20:56:04

I would suggest you look seriously at your parenting skills, you clearly dont take your child's education seriously enough to fast-track them. Did you start using the Platonic questioning technique when he was in the womb? Or pre-natal Latin? You have only yourself to blame, try adoption someone might take him.

SybilBeddows Wed 31-Aug-11 20:59:10

IIWY I wouldn't worry too much about him going to Oxbridge, plenty of mediocre children have perfectly happy lives. He sounds like a lovely boy and bright as a button. Enjoy him!

ThePathanKhansWoman Wed 31-Aug-11 21:06:52

OMG you must be so utterly bereft. Don't blame yourself, none us expect or children to shame us so. I would throw him out. Without a coat.

TheOriginalBanshee Wed 31-Aug-11 21:52:23

Orf with his head. You can't be blamed. We'll stand by you.

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