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Problem with my 13 year old sons tutor?

(17 Posts)
pomegranate1975 Mon 01-Aug-11 12:06:47

My son has tutoring once a week at the library after school with a uni student 3.30pm-6.30pm. She is very nice girl. He has been getting tutored for one month. I drop him off at the library 3.25pm and pick him up at 7pm. I dont go inside but i wait outside the library in the car as i have babies with me. So i only have met her once on the very first day of tutoring. Payment is sent in a envelope with my son.

Okay now i have a couple of problems with her and i dont know how to communicate it with her because i might say it the wrong way and hurt her feelings. Can you pls let me know how to say it to her in a nice way? also what is your views on it?

1> I give my son food when he goes for tutoring and she has been eating it with him. He says he hides it and she says "whats in ur bag" "what did you get for food today" and she says " can i have some", "what else do u have"
He reckon she eats at least half his food.
The first time i thought it happened i thought, thats okay to share and maybe she is being friendly. Then the 2nd time i thought maybe her mum didnt give her food and she is hungry. Then the 3rd time i thought hmm something is weird here. Today i got upset thinking what the hell is going on.. My son said thats okay mum i just wont eat while she is tutoring me.

2> She gives homework for my son and the first and 2nd time was a good amount of homework, now the last couple of times its so little that he finishes it in one night. I mentioned last week that my other younger son gets more homework that my 13 year old.

3> She was suppose to finish at 6.30pm and she finished at 6.15pm. 15minutes early.
She doesnt tell me at all when she finishes. I want her to message me to let me know what time she is finished. I feel she can take advantage of me as its all based on trust. I never know if she has finished early or late.

Now what do u think of this? How can i let her know how i feel in a nice way.

circular Mon 01-Aug-11 12:42:30

Not what you asked, but :

3 hours seems a very long session, especially after a full day at school. If your son had two shorter sessions it would probably be more beneficial. And there would be no need for snacks, so that issue would go away.

With 2 shorter sessions, two separate lots of homework could be set.
Although if he has 3 hours tuition a week, plus homework from that, plus his school homework, how much time spent doing school work are you actually expecting?

Out of interest, why are you using a student as a tutor, instead of a qualified teacher?
Is it just one subject?

pomegranate1975 Mon 01-Aug-11 12:56:09

I am in australia and i pay $40 for 3 hours work which includes maths and eng. It was suppose to include science but she said she doesnt have material for it, but if my son needs help with science school work than she can help him. I wanted two hours a week but tutor said its better 3 hours as its better money for her and she can teach him better and my son is okay with that.
He doesnt get much homework from school.
Qualified teachers start at $60 a hour and we cant afford it. My son is learning well with her but its just the other problems that we need to sort out.

tethersend Mon 01-Aug-11 13:01:54

I also think 3 hours is too long.

If he finishes at 6.30, why do you pick him up at 7?

Am also interested in your reasons for choosing a student tutor...

tethersend Mon 01-Aug-11 13:03:09

sorry, xpost.

ajandjjmum Mon 01-Aug-11 13:03:47

If he's learning, it sounds like you're on to a good deal. I think you need to try and interact with her though.

HarperSeven Mon 01-Aug-11 13:07:31

Call her... and talk to her. Isn't it obvious? 3 hours is definitely too long. I think an hour and a half would do it at this age. 40AUD is not much for 3 hours.

sue52 Mon 01-Aug-11 13:12:40

3 hours is along stretch especially if his tutor gives him homework on top. As to the food, students don't get much money and I wouldn't begrudge the odd sandwich.

starfishmummy Mon 01-Aug-11 13:12:56

I would agree that three hours in one go, after a day at school is too long, and if he is not being picked up until 7 it is even longer for the lad.

CecilyP Mon 01-Aug-11 13:19:58

Agree with others that 3 hours is too long for one to one. Tiring for both, so no wonder she runs out of things to do 15 minutes early. She seems pretty cheap and he is learning, but if you can curtail it to 1.30 to 2 hours, you could negotiate a price and neither she nor your son would be so greatly in need of a snack.

bananamam Mon 01-Aug-11 13:24:31

Why not start at 4, the. Your son can have a snack before he goes in, finish at 6 so he is home for dinner. An hour each topic? 3 is a long time.

hocuspontas Mon 01-Aug-11 13:28:18

3 hours! I'd be surprised if a teacher could keep going that long without a break! Your ds must be completely jaded as well by 6.15. You sound like you don't want to pay for a teacher but expect teachers' input and professionalism.

pomegranate1975 Mon 01-Aug-11 13:39:59

There is a few breaks in between. I wanted 2 hours, but she said she rather do 3hours. She is a good tutor and a good deal and i dont want to lose her. Maybe the food is no big deal, i will just give him extra food so they can share.

SenoritaViva Mon 01-Aug-11 13:59:53

But this is about your son and his needs not about the teacher and her needs (for 3 hours). I'd also stop sending snacks and expect 2 hours of tuition with a 5 min comfort break half way inbetween.

Selks Mon 01-Aug-11 14:05:59

Ask for a review meeting where you can sit down together and chat in a friendly way about how things are going in general, then you can bring up those issues if you want to.

notcitrus Mon 01-Aug-11 14:29:41

She's a student in need of money - of course she'd rather do more!

(have been a student doing tutoring, though my agency only allowed 1-hour sessions so that's what I did)
Talk to her and say 90 min/2 hours should be sufficient for your son and that's all you're prepared to pay for in future. There will be other students!

chocolatemarshmallow Mon 01-Aug-11 16:10:52

Totally agree that you should get what you need out of a tutor not vice versa - absolutely tell her 2 hours is enough and NO WAY should she be eating your son's food!!! If necessary a gentle e-mail/phone call explaining the hours are too long for him and you hope she will appreciate that your son is hungry after a long day of school and providing food for her was not part of the agreement. You're being too nice!

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