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Would it be unfair to take a grammar place for half term before emigrating?

(25 Posts)
tewhau Thu 07-Jul-11 21:25:22

We will be emigrating at the end of October 2012. Assuming our eldest makes cutoff in the 11+ (which we think is a reasonably assumption), she would be able to go to the catchment Grammar school. She's academically minded, and would rather go to the Grammar. However, I can't help wondering if it would be unfair to take up a place when she's not going to be staying on. Presumably when she leaves her place would then become available for someone else, but they will have had to wait half a term to get it.
So the question is, is it unreasonable to be selfish and let my daughter be in a more appropriate learning environment for her for six weeks? Or should I encourage her to put up with the local comprehensive (which is apparently perfectly fine) for the half term before we leave?

oneofsuesylvesterscheerios Thu 07-Jul-11 21:29:00

imho (which is what you asked for) I'd send her to the comp. Competition is fierce for grammar school and it might make a huge difference for one child who might benefit from the place instead of your dd.

Very public spirited of you <applauds>

meditrina Thu 07-Jul-11 21:31:02

Is there any possibility your plans to emigrate could fall through?

I'd put her into whichever school you felt was right for her, irrespective of how long you thought she might be there.

orienteerer Thu 07-Jul-11 21:34:23

I agree with meditina, you have no idea what life might throw at you before now and Oct 2012, I'd take the Grammar route.

mumblechum1 Thu 07-Jul-11 21:34:52

If your plans to emigrate are definite then YWBU to put her in the grammar for half a term. There will be a waiting list as long as your arm for GS places if it's anything like round here so the next person on the list will have to start half a term after everyone else which imo is not fair if it can be avoided.

Georgimama Thu 07-Jul-11 21:34:56

I think it is unfair yes. Someone else will fill the place but it may not be the same someone else who would have got that place in the first place, if that makes any sense. If it really is only 6 weeks, just send her to the comp. Or home ed. 6 weeks is nothing so although she may prefer the grammar if you were staying in the UK, what real difference can it make to her in that timescale?

bubblesincoffee Thu 07-Jul-11 21:57:00

If you are definately going, it would be very unfair, and selfish of you, to take the grammar place.

The grammar may not offer the place out straight away, and even if they did, that's another child who has had to settle into school only to be uprooted and then have to do it all over again, except the second time they would be breaking into established routines and friendships. If you think about the other child involved in this, surely you can see how unfair it would be?

2cats2many Thu 07-Jul-11 22:00:53

If you are sure you will be going, then give the place to someone else. Its the decent thing to do.

Monty27 Thu 07-Jul-11 22:02:32

Yes it would be very unfair, I think you know that.

Kudos to you, some people wouldn't even question it. I think you'll do the right and fair thing.

thenevernever Thu 07-Jul-11 22:08:32

of course it would be.
you know what would be right to do, so just do it.

Bonsoir Thu 07-Jul-11 22:10:26

No, it's perfectly reasonable to take the place. Your plans might change (you never know) and, even if your DD does leave the school after a couple of months, grammar schools have waiting lists that they keep open for a year for just these cases. Another deserving child will get her place.

Ishani Thu 07-Jul-11 22:15:14

I don't think it works that way ie you don't take the place and some lucky child gets it instead, if that child is up to the standard and has a good reason to go to the grammar then they will go, upon appeal etc.
Personally I wouldn't send her anywhere for a term the uniform is £300, why bother extend the summer holidays for her.

WhatsWrongWithYou Thu 07-Jul-11 22:18:25

Surely the point is, as has been said, yes someone else will get the place but that will be a young child who's resigned themselves to, and possibly started to settle into, life at another school?
On paper it's all fine and dandy, but not fair at all to take up a place you know you don't really need.

Ishani Thu 07-Jul-11 22:23:49

If the school is up to it's limit say 120 and then there are appeals of say another 9 (i'm using actual figures from a grammar school I spoke today), they won't go to the waiting list and call number 130 and say it's your lucky day tewhau's daughter has left, they will breath a sigh of relief they are only 8 over their numbers not 9.

maypole1 Thu 07-Jul-11 22:31:46

Really gonna send your child to school for four weeks to be honest I wouldn't bother the cost of the uniform alone would put me off and by the time she settled and the real works start you I'll be leaving

Let some one who's staying get the place and take her to some cultural things during the term the o

MmeBlueberry Fri 08-Jul-11 06:56:50

Send her to the grammar school.

Emigration plans can fall through and be delayed.

senua Fri 08-Jul-11 08:16:10

October 2012 is a long time away, much can change between now and then. Enter her for the 11+, just to keep your options open, and review circumstances nearer the time. You will know for sure before the start of the academic year whether emigration is a certainty - if it is, then do the right thing and go comp or HE.

Does any of what you do here impact upon what happens there?

tewhau Fri 08-Jul-11 08:31:36

Thanks for all your replies, they have helped. During discussion with the other half it occurred to me that much the same arguments apply to the comprehensive as to the grammar (i.e. it is over-subscribed). Anyway, we have decided to do the following:
1. Have her sit the 11+ (she insisted she wanted to anyway!?!)
2. Put our preferred schools in preference order as usual, i.e. apply for the grammar (with comprehensive as backup in case my assessment of her academics is misplaced), and whichever other schools seem reasonable
3. In the summer holidays 2012, i.e. when departure date is confirmed and closer, but before school has actually started, let county admissions know we will be home-schooling her instead.
This seems to me a reasonable compromise - yes, it will mean a longer wait for whoever gets her place off the waiting list, but at least they will get to start at the beginning of term, and also allows for plan changes on our part. And yes, we won't mind at all avoiding the uniform outlay for only six weeks' wear.

mumblechum1 Fri 08-Jul-11 10:08:33

That sounds very sensible. smile

HSMM Fri 08-Jul-11 10:14:12

Good plan. As soon as you have your definite moving date you can let them know.

wakeupandsmellthecoffee Fri 08-Jul-11 11:51:46

your really nice to think of another child . Karma and all that.

thenevernever Fri 08-Jul-11 12:11:21

I agree. Three cheers for tewhau and her dh smile

Monty27 Fri 08-Jul-11 14:54:07

tewhau - good luck with your move and I knew you'd do the right thing once you had questioned it. smile

dramafluff Thu 14-Jul-11 09:58:06

Provided the grammar school admission will not assist your child when you have moved and you are looking for another school wherever you end up, and provided your plans are set in concrete and cannot possibly change, then great, do the 'right' thing.

JenaiMarrHePlaysGuitar Thu 14-Jul-11 12:14:32

In your shoes, the only thing that would prevent me from going for the grammar school place is the stress of having to sit the 11+.

Seeing as your dd seems keen to sit it though then I guess that's irrelevant.

Your compromise seems like a good one. What does you dd want to do though? And can you afford to not work for those weeks your dd is at home?

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