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Nests emptying uni time thread

(27 Posts)
Lidlfix Wed 31-Aug-16 18:10:52

DD1 returns to uni next week. She's off to her shared flat today (after halls last year) and sooo excited grin. I don't feel anything like as raw as I did leaving her in tears this time last year but still ...

Was great having her back over the summer. She now appreciates me and my cooking and even my company!!

Sigh- back to cooking too much pasta and having petrol in the car.

Anyone else?

OhFuds Wed 31-Aug-16 20:40:42

I don't have a empty nest, once my Dd moves into halls on Saturday her room will be filled by my 2yr old DD.

I'm dreading dropping her off, my DD was the only one in the house that actually listens and helps without needing nagged. I'm now left with a DH and teenage DS who like to bloody wrestle everytime something needs done angry.

Lidlfix Thu 01-Sep-16 17:15:24

My nest is emptying but far from empty with 3 more DDs to ensure DH and I get busy and skint!

Just changes the whole dynamic when any of them go.

Need to find a new gym buddy halo

PiggyPlumPie Thu 01-Sep-16 17:19:21

DD1 is off to St Andrew's on Saturday for her first year. I'm trying not to think about it too much. DD2 will miss her the most I think.

At least she's not too far away.

dotdotdotmustdash Wed 07-Sep-16 20:49:42

DD17 left for a year in China this morning.

I'm gutted.

OhFuds Wed 07-Sep-16 21:12:10

That must be so hard, mines is only 2 hours up the A9 and I already want her home even tho its only been since Saturday.

Will your DD come home for Christmas/special occasions or is that her away until this time next year?

Lidlfix Wed 07-Sep-16 21:18:17

Oh Dotdot, think I remembered that from results thread. cakewine

His time next year will be a doddle. She must be a an adventurous, confident soul. Pride won't be much in way of consolation today.

When does she arrive somewhere she can make contact?

dotdotdotmustdash Wed 07-Sep-16 23:23:27

She arrives in Beijing at 2am our time, 9am China time. She's going to send me a message when she gets to her final destination a couple hours drive from Beijing. There are 23 Scottish youngsters on the same scholarship, from all over the country. They all left school this year and seem like a great bunch.

She's hoping to come home in February. There's no Christmas break, but the Uni break is from Jan 7 - Mar 7 so I'll book her a flight home for a couple of weeks in February. She'll be over there for her 18th birthday though which I am sad to miss.

They're due to land soon, currently over Mongolia, please send lots of safe-landing thoughts to the group.

Lidlfix Thu 08-Sep-16 17:04:22

I know someone else who's DC is going. Just getting selected is a huge achievement. Positive vibes and safe landing thoughts for them all. smile

dotdotdotmustdash Thu 08-Sep-16 19:24:26

They all landed safely smile. I've had a message and photo of the room, newly decorated with photos and poster. All is well with them.

My house feels like it's guts have been ripped out, along with my heart.

dotdotdotmustdash Thu 08-Sep-16 19:25:15

*its guts (oopsy grammar error)

Lidlfix Thu 08-Sep-16 19:51:11

I want to red pen most of my posts when I read them backblushespecially when I'm giving advice on education matters.

I drifted round the house humming "Slipping Through my Fingers" and my PFB was only in halls! She scarcely phoned for months. Was always 'on her way out/ had folk in/ was in the middle of something '. Thankfully DH is very level headed and kept me sane.

Hopefully distance and time difference will help your DD to have a set time to stay in touch.

dotdotdotmustdash Thu 08-Sep-16 20:02:53

This morning's song was 'How do I live without you?'. I'm sure I'll move on to more cheerful ditties in the next few days/weeks. This feeling sucks.

Sorry, I'm such a moan at the moment.

prettybird Thu 08-Sep-16 20:25:39

One of the many things I truly regret is that I never talked to my mum about how she'd missed me when I went to Uni.

I was vaguely aware of it because one of the neighbours for whom I babysat mentioned it to me just before I left - but in the selfishness of youth, I never thought to discuss it with my mum.

It's only now, as I think of my own ds leaving (even though it's 2 years ago) that I wish is talked to her more about feeling like this. I thought I had all the time in the world to do so - she came from a long-loved family - and then she had her accident at 66 sad

Lidlfix Thu 08-Sep-16 20:37:35

It's visceral like when you leave your newborn for the first time. Saw my own DM in a different light. Sobbed to her "Is this my life now? Feeling crap when they go and excited for them coming back?".

She declined to answer.

But then I see my pals who's DCs are at home. Treating this place like a proverbial, making more work etc I think maybe we're meant to be fledgling adults away from the nest?

Lidlfix Thu 08-Sep-16 20:46:55

Prettybird flowers so sorry

dotdotdotmustdash Thu 08-Sep-16 20:50:37

I came back from the airport yesterday and unloaded the tumble-dryer to find some of her clothes, they're still sitting in the lounge because I can't face going into her empty room. It feels like a mini-death, as you say Lildfix - it's visceral.

OhFuds Thu 08-Sep-16 20:54:27

I know, I'm so pleased and proud my DD is spreading her wings and will probably have the time of her life at university but bloody hell I miss her. My neighbour has a nightmare teenager and at age 19 still have no real job or ambition. I felt pretty smug the last time we were taking and I could say that my 17yr old was off to uni in September.

So far I've sent a message every day to my dd, that's probably too much but I don't see my own mum so I don't want my Dd to think I don't give a shit like my mum does about me and DD.

I'm glad your DD has arrived safely dotdot flowers

BeJayKayven Sun 11-Sep-16 19:26:19

So agree with previous posters - I feel like there is a hole where my heart should be. I have cried the whole weekend, at his empty room, at the table set for only two, in fact just about everything. I know it's ridiculous and my sensible head will hopefully kick in soon but right now I am devastated.

TooManyButtons Sun 11-Sep-16 19:31:22

I dropped DD off yesterday. I now live completely alone, and boy am I feeling sorry for myself. I don't have any friends to turn to, I'm literally alone. I'm 39 and I feel like my life is over sad

BeJayKayven Sun 11-Sep-16 19:44:20

toomanybuttons flowers

Lidlfix Sun 11-Sep-16 19:54:32

Awh Bejay and Buttons. It's not ridiculous and we know how you feel. That's why I started the thread. We can feel proud, excited and worried.

But it's also fine to feel bereft, lost and a bit spare. I bubbled yesterday as I live in a uni city and saw the carnage that was Tesco. Fridges in halls will be overflowing!

I was granted a quick chat today with the promise of a longer one during the week. DD4 just desperate for a FaceTime or Skype so she can picture her beloved Big Sis in her flat. Counting down till the first tired, ill, skint and needing mammypampering occasion wink

dotdotdotmustdash Sun 11-Sep-16 20:03:18

I hope all our babies are settling in well in their new home.

I've had lots of pictures of Chinese meals, and photos of Dd with random Chinese people who seem to be enthusiastic about having their photo taken with real-live Westerners. The real work starts tomorrow with their first day at college.

BeJayKayven Sun 11-Sep-16 20:20:04

It's so exciting for them all. I just don't know how often it's ok to text without being pushy or 'helicopter, - you know, how do I get the balance between still being there for him without overstepping what he wants or needs.

OhFuds Sun 11-Sep-16 21:19:09

My DD has been there a week now and seems to be loving it, she's managed to buy a laundry card, do a wee shop at Lidl, join the girls football team, find a book shop and buy the books needed etc. She says the other girls who share the kitchen and toilets/showers are all decent and get along, she even said the cleaner that comes in daily has said my dd's kitchen is the tidyist so my DD and the other girls make her job easier grin

It's a big relief knowing she's out meeting people and doing stuff as she really is quite shy.

My 4yr old keeps saying he misses her but my 2yr old is happy she has her own "my little pony" room (she was in with me before).

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