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I had to tell work i cannot go back after maternity due to special needs daughter

12 replies

chicken2015 · 12/01/2020 17:18

And im feeling sad, im a teacher, planning to go back in few weeks but childcare has let me down and now i cannot go back. As needed particular care due to daughter, it was just for one day a week but still upsetting.

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IM0GEN · 12/01/2020 17:21

How long will it take you to get new childcare arrangements in place ?

Since it’s only one day a week, why don’t you get your baby’s father to take leave and care for her, that would give you a few extra weeks to arrange it?

I’m assuming you are no longer together, as otherwise he would be helping you find alternative childcare and obviously he’s not. How many days / nights a week does he care for baby ?

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Lavendersquare · 12/01/2020 17:31

If it's only one day a week why don't you ask for reduced hours and look after DC yourself, or at least until you get some other childcare lined up? I'm sure they would be able to accommodate a reasonable request.

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chicken2015 · 13/01/2020 07:46

We r together, i needed someone to drive 30 mins to take my older girl to a special needs nursery and then have my younger daughter untill need to pick up my older daugther at 3 and have both till i finish at 4.30.
Im not sure how my husband would dind someone when i cannot, and we spilt the care 50/50 when he is at home, for example he will be up 2/3 hours most nights as she struggles to stay asleep, hes amazing .
I already asked for reduced hours , so do the dropping off and picking up at nursery but they said no they need someone all day.

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SnuggyBuggy · 13/01/2020 08:02

Would carers leave cover this until something could be put in place?

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crosspelican · 13/01/2020 08:07

This isn’t a reason to give up your career - as you are a teacher you can’t really take leave, I see that, but unless he is also a teacher, your husband can.

He can also help research & find a childminder to do what you describe. Two heads are better than one.

What websites have you been using? Have you advertised? What about local Facebook groups?

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chicken2015 · 13/01/2020 08:13

I was going to go back in sept 2012 as then my daughter will be at special school and i can do mornings as nursery teacher so works

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chicken2015 · 13/01/2020 08:14

And yes we now have been getting carers allowance which is helping financially

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xmaself24 · 13/01/2020 08:15

Can't your partner take annual leave from work one day a week until you find other arrangements?

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Apple23 · 13/01/2020 09:02

Rather than looking for one person, could you split the tasks and look for two?
So one person (regular child minder) to care for younger child during the day and a second person (possibly via a care agency) with the necessary training to take older child to/ from Nursery.

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chicken2015 · 13/01/2020 09:25

I mean i am plannning to go back sept 2021

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crosspelican · 13/01/2020 12:55

Do you want to go back?

It just seems slightly defeatist that a small administrative hiccup has you throwing your hands in the air and saying that you now can't return to work - in nine months from now.

If you physically don't want to go back to work then that's one thing, but if you actuallly DO, then I kind of feel that nine months probably gives you enough room to work out your childcare?

Or am I massively misunderstanding your dates here?

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chicken2015 · 13/01/2020 17:48

I was due to go back in a few weeks , i organised childcare around oct/nov time and lady has just let me down last week, after another person before her let me down. Yes i did want to go back , but i looked for someone before finding lady who let me down last and there wasnt anyone and only had a few weeks to sort something which wasnt possible. So now i am accepting it will be easier in Sept 2021 when my daughter goes to school.

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