Hate my job, can afford to give up work, should I?

[Foreverstressed28]

Cut a long story short, I hate my job and we can afford me to stay at home. There's so much guilt on my shoulders as my mother looks after my 1 and 3 year old 3 days a week and does the nursery pick up etc. I'd rather she didn't as she's getting old and finding it difficult.

I'm only working to "not give up my career" even though it's not really a career and the pay is shit. And because society seems to looks down at stay at home mums.

Anyway, would you give up work if you could afford it?

[museumum]

Nope. I’d hate to not work but if you can afford to stay at home you can also afford to try to get a different job. A job you like is a great release from 24/7 childcare.

[backsackcraic]

Yes definitely. A job is always there to go back to, kids aren't. Go for it and whilst you're st home look for something you'll enjoy and will fit in with kids, maybe do part time which is the best of both worlds.

[Thetruthfairy]

Yes, I would and I did.
Whether it is right for you, only you can decide. I don't regret it at all.

[monkeychickenpig]

I was about to post about this
I haven't really worked for 2 years I have a business with my husband
But then I found a job I thought would be interesting
I was excited to apply and I thought it would be good to keep a finger in the pie so to speak
Then I realised how much I couldn't bare to be separated from my child
When I was having a shower my son held on to my knee and I realised it wasn't worth it for me.
I've been sick since I was pregnant and I have missed out a lot with my son so I want to enjoy him as much as possible before he goes to school and now my health is improving hopefully use my flexibility to travel with my family

[Teaandbiscuits35]

Yes yes yes! I would, without a doubt. Some people find it lonely and isolating. I stayed at home for a few years with my children and I loved it. I'm not particularly career orientated and loved being able to have a home I was happy with the state of (I still can't seem to manage this and work) and I loved being on call for my kids. You said you don't even enjoy it so is it worth it?

[Boredboredboredboredbored]

In a heartbeat

[pilotswife]

In your situation I wouldn’t think twice about not working. Enjoy your little children and your life. Can’t see the point of spending your days away from the people you love most in an unfulfilling job with lousy pay!

[Horsedogbird]

Yes, definitely in your shoes.

[LivininaBox]

If you are worried about not working why not get a fun job instead just for a few hours a week, e.g. showing people round houses for an estate agents on a Saturday? An evening shift in your favourite bar or cafe?

[Bubbleandsquark]

I would, I went back to work when DC1 was 1 and missed so much. I also feel like she missed out on time with me when I could have easily waited until she was at school before going back to work with the job I was in.
With DC2&3 (1yo and baby) we're planning on me being a SAHM until they're both in preschool for part time, then closer to full time once they're at school.

DC2 seems much more happy and secure than DC1 was at this age, which could partly be down to personality but I don't think being in childcare so young helped and wish I hadn't with her now.

[Padfoot100]

Yes! I would definitely leave if I was in your situation

[Moxiebelle]

If you hate your job then yes. You would have to retrain anyway if you want to change to a new career so why not look into retraining as something with flexible hours and return to work when the children are older.

[ifcatscouldtalk]

My daughter isn't even very little anymore but if I could give up work and take time to find an alternative job role and work out what I'm doing with my life I would.
If you can afford to pack up a job you hate it's a no brainer.

[overmydeadbody]

Yes absolutely, and so would my dh.

[Foreverstressed28]

Loving the consensus. Thank you all.

Deep down I know I should leave, but it's the odd comments in real life such as "you're going to go crazy at home with kids" and "you don't want to rely on your DH"

Well, I'm already going crazy trying to balance kids, home and work and I am already semi dependant on DH anyway as my salary isn't much.

I suppose my decision is made.

[TreeClimbingMonkey]

I've been a SAHM for over a decade and at no stage have I gone crazy.

Maybe if this was the 1950's but today with the internet and audio books, podcasts, YouTube, Netflix, Amazon Prime etc how on earth could you be bored?

There are a million things to entertain children. Pinterest is full of ideas, you don't even have to think them up yourself.

Join groups, get out of the house with the children, stroll and I mean stroll along the street with them. It is lovely not having to rush. Enjoy it.

And yes relying on your Dh for money can be difficult but it genuinely depends on the attitude of your Dh. Mine totally gets what I do, his own Mum was a SAHM too.

[MsAdorabelleDearheartVonLipwig]

I’ve been a sahp for nearly twelve years and I don’t regret it at all. I’m lucky in that I have a Dh who is able to support us all.

I do know that I couldn’t go back to working for someone else now. I’ve had my freedom for too long, it would absolutely do my head in.

That said, I do help out at the dc’s school a few hours a week. I do a couple of hours dinner supervision and I also volunteer to listen to reading groups. It’s something to do. You could offer to help out at the primary school that you send yours to. Would help you to get to know the place too. They’re always crying out for volunteers these days.

[BananaRumpus]

Unfortunately for financial reasons I have to work but if I could give up and be a sahm for my 2 year old I would do it in a heartbeat. If that's what your heart is telling you feels right then do it.

A friend of mine was a sahm until her children went to secondary school. She really wanted to go back to work then and she was able to find work she enjoyed relatively quickly after 12 years of not working. I'm sure if you want to go back to work in the future the you won't have any problem.

[NeedAUsernameGenerator]

I would, I took a 2 year career break after DD2 and then I returned to work just 2 days a week. I was glad to have that time at home.

[Panicmode1]

I gave up my career 8 years ago when I realised I was doing everything badly - none of us were happy, I was constantly stressed trying to be a good employee, wife and mother and failing at them all! I have loved being at home, my children are happier, my marriage is better and my life is hugely fulfilled. I work two days a week now, earning about 10% of my previous salary, but don't regret it for a second. My husband is hugely supportive and appreciative of what I do, and we make a good team.

There will always be people who are negative - make your own life choices for you and your family and ignore the negativity....

[Nanna50]

I stayed at home, didn’t go crazy, did some post grad study and volunteer work and retrained. I loved it. I agree with Panicmode everyone was happier, home life was more harmonious.

[MorganPrince]

If it is the right decision for you DO IT!
I have been a stay-at-home mum for 14 years and, no I haven't loved every minute of it but I wouldn't change it for the world. Both my boys are at school every day now which means I can do as I please with my time during the day (I blog) but I am here if and when they need me. They know if anything was to happen at school they could call me. I cook dinner, I clean the house, I am mum.
Yes, society does look down on mums who don't work but it's really rather frustrating for those of us that CHOOSE to do this. We don't have to work because our partners earn enough so that we can be at home with our children - why is that a bad thing? AND even if we stay at home after the children start school it's not a bad thing.
For years I felt bad, like I was doing "nothing" by being a stay at home mum with two children at school but I've found we are all happier this way. I do not regret giving up work. I have found something I enjoy doing for me, which is a blessing, and I'm not "just mum" anymore.

At the end of the day you should make the decision based on your own situation and how you feel, but you should never feel like it's wrong just because society says you should be out at work. Hope this helped. xxx