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older moms vs younger moms

(20 Posts)
flailingego543 Thu 25-May-17 18:54:02

I have two children under five. I'm 35. Sometimes I feel uncomfortable around younger, more beautiful moms.

IllBeAtTheSpa Thu 25-May-17 18:59:29

sad a piece of advice I once heard...
To your child your the most beautiful person in the world.
In what way do you feel uncomfortable and why? Has someone said something to you or is it more a personal anxiety?

PaintingOwls Thu 25-May-17 19:02:56

Why is that?

Is it all younger women or just mothers?

gamerwidow Thu 25-May-17 19:13:53

It doesn't matter to your child how old you are.

JigglyTuff Thu 25-May-17 19:17:55

I was in my late 40s when I had children that age.

I don't know why you're insecure but your kids don't care.

MarklahMarklah Thu 25-May-17 19:19:28

But you ARE young! I'm nearly 50 and have a 6 year old.

Enidblyton1 Thu 25-May-17 19:23:08

Maybe they are looking at you and thinking the same thing!

Run4Fun Thu 25-May-17 19:24:19

I wouldn't consider you as an 'older' Mum. As for younger being more beautiful, that may be your perception rather than a reality. Try some confidence building exercises and it will change how you see the world and yourself.

I'm a younger mum.

I look at "older" mums and think oh my god, they've got so much grace and poise. They seem to have it all figured out, they know what they're doing, they're confident and assertive.

We all feel insecure about ourselves and how we perceive others. To your children, you are the best, most beautiful mum they could wish for, and that's what really matters.

Gazelda Thu 25-May-17 19:29:22

35 is not an older mum in my opinion. And children don't differentiate between their mums by age (we're all ancient!)

Justmadeperfectflapjacks Thu 25-May-17 19:31:31

I have been a young dm (17) and an older dm (43) and ob in between!!.
My dc don't notice at all!
Ds 15 says his mates all say I am fit so in the teen world will accept that as a compliment I guess!! confused

Ecureuil Thu 25-May-17 19:52:52

Wow, I'm a similar age to you and don't consider myself an older mum at all. I was the youngest of my NCT group and am generally on the younger side at groups.
Why do you feel uncomfortable? Your DC aren't going to run off with another mum because she's prettier than you!

Nonibaloni Thu 25-May-17 19:58:51

Please excuse the sentimentality of what I'm about to say.

Since being a mum Ive met a 40+ mother in a total mess and a teenage mum who was like a military leader. And vice versa.

And I'm going totally over board, you'll never look more beautiful than laughing with your children.

Motherhood is the true leveller. And I hate mums feeling like they can't compare.

flailingego543 Thu 25-May-17 22:01:44

I live in an area where people tend to have children at a younger age. I went to the park & the group women there were model beautiful...they must have been. about 21.

Joffmognum Sat 03-Jun-17 01:11:45

They're probably worried you judge them as being irresponsible teenage mothers, if they look very young. I know I do (I'm 19).

BabyLedWhining Sat 03-Jun-17 01:35:28

It's not "vs". Really, it's not bottles at dawn. There is no us and them.

Eilasor Tue 06-Jun-17 13:30:10

I am a young mum (children at 19, am now 24) and have always felt very very intimidated by the knowledge and maturity that the 'older' mum's seem to have. I feel as though my mistakes are judged more harshly by them, also.

But I have been trying to learn, as a previous poster stated, that there really is no "us vs them"; we're all doing our best.

justkeepswimmingg Tue 06-Jun-17 15:39:04

I'm 25, and actually feel intimidated by older mums. I tend to get judgemental looks, as I look a lot younger, so I never approach older mums to chat/make friends. (Been told I look 16 hmm).
I think the younger/older mum clash is a shame. I don't feel welcome at my local toddler groups, so sadly me and my DS miss out on those.
I don't know of any younger mums who judge older mums by their appearance, if that is the problem.

RandomUsernameHere Thu 08-Jun-17 22:46:06

Where we live you wouldn't be considered an older mum at all. I am 31 with two preschool aged DC and I'm usually the youngest at most of the groups and classes we go to.
Anyway, your DC will love you regardless!
There will always be someone better looking and someone worse looking no matter how you look, so the best thing is not to worry too much.

Rufus27 Fri 07-Jul-17 20:40:58

35 isnt old. I have just become a mum for the first time and am nearly 46. I know I am possibly less beautiful than the younger mums, but I also know that I have qualities they may not have - qualities that matter to my son miles more than my beauty (or lack of!).
I really wouldnt let it bother you, OP.

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